Hi girls, well im extremely emotional today, my little neice was born this morning and its just killing me that im not there (my family lives in NZ)
I cried this morning about it and i just want to cry about it all day, its ripping my heart. I want to take my boy and fly home for awhile, i want my family to meet Caleb and I want to meet my neice Maddison. I feel this horrible ache, almost like she were my own baby and Im not allowed to hold her!

Im not sure what to do with this feeling, i know i really want to spend more time with my boy because of it only because he gives me such joy just looking at his little face but i cant keep him awake forever....

I cant go home, not right now, we dont ahve the money and i have to apply for Caleb to get citizenship in NZ (which also costs $200) cos Australia wont accept him untill he is 10 years old because we are both NZers. and without his citizenship sorted he cant get a passport

my poor hubby doesnt know what to do with me, he cant fix it and thats all he wants to do.....