Babies Born June 1st - 15th 2008

[MummyPig]

Does Zeke have decent naps every day? I've been useless with Freyja because of the whole moving to here thing and she's had no routine whatsoever since August. Means I've not been very good at putting her down for naps as we've always been out and about, so she gets overtired and is a nightmare. Now I'm having to get to know her all over again because she's changed so much!

Right now she's refusing to nap. I must have missed her sleepy cues (again! ) because I put her down at 10.15 using the same routine as yesterday (bb, close curtains, sleeping bag, dummy, book, cuddle, in cot, music, leave room) and she's pretty much been awake since. She's been a little unsettled, but not too much. First she rubbed her eyes when I checked her, so I resettled her. Then I next went through she was babbling to herself and got all excited and grinning when she saw me, so we did our waking up routine (out of sleeping bag, have a hug, open the curtains, change nappy and play). Within 10 mins she was fussing, so I went through whole routine again and back in cot.... now it's coming up to 12 (when she would have been thinking about waking up!) and I'm still resettling her every couple of minutes.

Typical woman - doesn't know what she wants!

What do you do when Zeke gets overtired because you've missed his sleepy cues? I'm about to resort to a walk into town in the rain in desperation.

Yeah, no feeding schedule with us either - she eats when she seems hungry basically, but I always try to give her bb before and after a sleep.

Freyja never tried the plain stuff. I thought that I could give her just the pear & banana for brekkie, but she didn't seem keen the first day so it always gets a few tsps or a cube of fruit mixed in for good measure. We might give the Organic rice a go - must be nicer than the Farex surely?! Not so sure the rolled oats would be though - really not a fan of porridge despite being Scottish!

It sounds like you're turning into quite the little baby chef! Annabel Karmel better watch out Actually, that's a plan - you should check out the Annabel Karmel website (just Google her) as there's lots of recipes there. I won't link you as it also sells her cooking books and I've already received one warning for linking to an Amber necklace site (oops...).

Unfortunately, my blender is sitting in a container at Melbourne docks right now otherwise I would give it a go myself. Oh, Coles has the normal Heinz stuff in cans for $1.05. Doens't seem to have anything added other than water, so I bought a few of those to try.

I don't blame you for not taking Codeine. I was told in the UK that you shouldn't take it because it can pass to the baby in b/m so I've avoided it completely. Even though Nurofen Plus is the only thing to work when I have really bad headaches or period pains (they lied when they said that wouldn't happen whilst b/f!!!) :grr:

Are you back at work then that you have a meeting to go to? How do you feel about leaving Zeke with family/childcare? I'm officially on maternity leave until March, although it's unpaid from December. In the UK we have statutory maternity leave of up to a year, 9 months paid, and I went on leave when I was 7 months pregnant because my job was so stressful. It's great - especially seeing as I live in another country now and am obviously not going back to work!

Thank you for the Freyja compliment. I think she is beautiful to, but then I'm biased Zeke looks like a cutie in the pic you have, but I'm guessing he was quite young then?

[Mirandabelle]

Zeke is so-so on naptime right now, even when he gives very clear cues that he's ready, like Freyja he mucks around and won't go down. Then when he gets overtired he screams. The only thing that works is distracting him by taking him for a walk then offering bb again till he's ready to sleep. Mostly he has 1 short nap in the morning, and one longish nap (about 2 hours) and another 2 short naps in the evening.

I would think that if she's lying quietly but not sleeping she'd be okay to stay there, she may drift off on her own anyway... maybe if you just check on her from the door w/out her seeing you. When I know Zeke needs to rest, and is lying quietly in his bassinette I will only peek in from the door. He always wants up if he sees me!

By the way, the Organic Rice is the same as the plain Farex, but made from organically grown rice... it may taste better though, who knows? But at least you know what is or isn't in it!

The organic stuff is a lil more expensive... but DP really likes the idea of Zeke eating organic food, so he gets that a lot of the time. BTW, I personally avoid the "Nutricia" brand stuff, there's a pretty high water content (35% in the green beans), so the food tastes horribly bland and is sloppy and gross, there's also not just the veggie on the label in the jar... the sweet potato has pumpkin too, but unless you read the ingredients you wouldn't know, and pumpkin seems to make Zeke constipated so it's important I avoid that for the time being.

How long until you get the rest of your things back? It must be a pain living without some things, though wouldn't you need to buy a whole lot of UK-Aus adaptors for your electrics?

Zeke was fairly young in that shot, probably 3 1/2 - 4 months-ish, I don't remember when it was taken, and I think he's beautiful too - but like you, I'm biased!

[MummyPig]

Hey

Yesterday was a nightmare! I got so wound up by her I even got really angry when she lost her slipper, like she'd done it on purpose. Obviously I didn't yell at her or anything like that, but I was so glad when she went to sleep and allowed me to have lunch in peace. Somedays it's really hard y'know, but then she'll give me that gorgeous smile and her eyes light up and I wouldn't change anything for the world

It sounds like Zeke is fairly good at napping - what's his normal night hours? We usually try to put Freyja down around 8pm.

We managed to miss her first nap today (I was asleep and she was with her daddy, who put her on the floor to play so he could use the pc), but I managed to calm her and rock her to sleep about 30mins ago. Going to go and sit with her in a minute so I can soothe her when she hits her light sleep stage and hopefully prevent her waking fully!

Unfortunately we can't leave her door open anymore as our two cats got out of quarantine yesterday (woohoo!! I missed them like crazy) and they like to find warm places to snuggle. I don't want to let them think that sleeping in her cot is okay, so I usually just listen to her on the monitor. I just don't know what I am and aren't supposed to do as everyone tells you something different. I do know I will never leave her to cry though.

I think I did buy some Nutricia stuff at first, but I froze it all so I could just mix a cube of it with Farex for her brekkie. I do like the idea of feeding her fully organic, as I do think it tastes better and don't like the idea of her being put at risk from loads of pesticides etc in her system. That's why I want to make her her own food as soon as I can!

Poor Zeke getting constipated! Does the baby rice not help as rice is one of the things that helps adults regulate their bowels? Freyja doesn't poo every day anyway, in fact it's more like twice a week (there's a lot when she does!!), but I expect that to get more with the solids. Not sure how often is normal once they're on solids - any ideas?

We'll have all our stuff back by the end of this month and I can't wait! Everything is rented at the mo and I find myself missing the most random things - like a can opener that works, or a grater that's not blunt and glass mixing bowls that are microwavable and oven safe!

And yes, we already have 4 UK-AUS adaptors but that's nowhere near enough for all our electrics. I discovered that KMart sell them though for $10 each, so we will need to stock up soon.

Off to do some soothing now. Fingers crossed!

[Mirandabelle]

Yeah, sometimes it's hard not to feel frustrated at your LO, even though you know they don't understand the adult way of thinking. And yes, that smile makes everything totally worthwhile all over again!

Zeke is usually asleep by 10.30, though right now he's sitting on my lap, sleepy as anything but refusing to go down. He wakes aroudn 1am and 4am for a feed, and gets up for the day at 8am. I'm not thrilled he still wakes, but he is very good, I have known him to drain an entire side of bb in 4 minutes flat and be back to sleep less than a minute later!

Daddies and naps aren't a good mix here either. DP took Zeke while I slept in this morning, and I told him that Zeke would want a nap around 10.30am, after solids. So he comes in at 11, with a furious Zeke who had not had solids b/c DP "just didn't do it" and was overtired. Fortunately some bb and cuddles had him off to sleep... but I was not impressed!

It must be so nice to have your cats back! I'll bet you missed them. I can't have any pets in my rental place, and DP is allergic to cats anyway.

There's a lot of differing advice out there about how to feed your baby, get them to sleep, and every other topic under the sun! The best advice I have is do what feels right, trust your Mummy Instinct about what is the best for you and Freyja! I don't CIO or even do 'controlled crying' at all, it feels wrong to listen to my baby cry.

It's 11pm now, and Zeke just went down... hopefully he'll stay that way!

Not sure on how often is "normal" for a baby on solids to have a bowel movement. Again, I trust the Mummy Instinct on this one. Zeke goes fairly regularly, and never seems in pain or to have trouble passing it, so I think he's fine. He usually does one big one per day at around the same time. Sometimes he'll hold it in for a day, and spend the entire next day having a poo at every change! I think that if Freyja has a pattern of her own, and doesn't seem to have any problems when she poos, she's fine... just like adult bathroom habits, babies have their own routines.

Oh you asked before, but I never replied. It was a meeting for my old choir which I'm on the commitee for. I'm a fulltime SAHM, I finished work up at 28weeks, I planned to work till 32, but was pretty sick because my iron levels were really low. I never had plans to take maternity leave b/c unless your boss is generous and will offer you paid leave, the government ruling is that you can only take (up to) 1 year of unpaid mat leave, so I resigned. Also, as no relative was available to care for him all week (they all work), I'd have had to send him to childcare, and I wasn't able to bear the thought of that, not to mention everything I earned would have gone towards his care anyway, and there would have been no financial difference for DP and I.

I've left Zeke with DP's mother for an hour or so when I went shopping once, and with a good friend of ours for an evening, and both times I was so tense I didn't really enjoy it. Now that he's older and has better relationships with some of our friends/family I don't think I'll be so worried... maybe! Now all I have to do is find somewhere to go!

Do you have any friends/family over here who can mind Freyja for you? Have you had a night/day/hour out without her, how'd you go?

Anyway, this has turned into a novel! I'm off to bed, hopefully I can get some sleep too!

[MummyPig]

Freyja is waking about 3 hours after she goes down for a feed and then again another 2 hours later, and then 3 hours after that. Tends to mean the she wakes just as I try to go to sleep - I swear she knows because if she falls asleep at a different time to normal, she still manages it!

Her daddies pretty good actually. He loves spending time with her and likes to feed her. It's just that he wants her to be contented with 10 mins of attention, then he can do something he wants and she should play happily. He knows it doesn't work, but he will keep trying to put her down to use the pc and she gets all upset.

I think there's too much advice if you ask me and not enough of telling mum's to listen to their instincts. I am so angry right now for having listened to all those people who told me the wrong things (like never co-sleep as it teaches bad habits, she should sleep through from 4 months, not to pick her up right away when she's upset or she'll be spoilt and manipulative, leave her to cry whilst you get things done 'it won't hurt her' etc etc).

Her bowel movements have changed a bit with the intro of solids. She was a definite twice a week only bb baby, but now she's a little bit of poo every change baby. I think she's actually a bit constipated, so have decided to cut out the rice for now and just give her her fruit and veg. Hopefully, that and the bb will clear her out a little bit. She's not in pain or anything, so I'm not worried for the mo.

Wow, I think you're the first person I've 'met' since I got here who intends on being SAHM! I also went on maternity at 28wks, partly because I had a very stressful job and was worrying all the time that something might be wrong with the baby so was a bit of a wreck, but also because I developed SPD early on and wasn't allowed to sit/stand/walk or anything for more than a few minutes at a time. Not suited to a desk job then! Plus, there is the fact that I knew we were moving here and I hated my job...

Are you guys managing okay for money and stuff then? It's a bit tighter for us now as we've only got one income (my statutory maternity allowance is approx $900 a month and runs out next month), but are paying rent here and need to pay a mortgage in the UK if we don't get anyone to rent / buy our house. That's a further $1300 for rent and approx $2000 for the mortgage, so things are going to get a bit hairy in a few months when our savings run out. I'm trying not to worry about it, but it means I may need to find some work from home if possible to do whilst looking after the baby. Something I totally don't want to do - I wanted to be a full-time SAHM until Freyja went to school (at least!).

Do you find that DP's mum looks after her the way you want her to, or more like the way she thinks you should be looking after her? My mum is totally of the 'well, this is the way I've always done it and I'm not changing now' mentality. My DH's mum is better at following your guidance, but she's a bit unsteady after a serious illness and we always end up hovering near when she's holding and playing with her. She did offer to look after her one night when we visited so we could have a night off, but we pretended not to hear so we didn't have to go through the trauma of explaining why we couldn't!!

I've never left her with anyone other than her daddy and the air-stewards who kept coming to 'borrow' her on the plane over here. She spent a fair bit of time in first class being doted on, whilst mummy and daddy squished in cattle class.

I don't think it's so much because I'm nervous doing it, but more because I haven't had anyone to leave her with. We lived several hundred miles away from our families and our best friends have a 4 year old and twin girls who were born 3 weeks before Freyja. And as we've only just gotten here, we don't have anyone near by that we could leave her with - pity as I'd love a night out with my hubby. Then again, if I did leave her with someone maybe I would be nervous!

I do get nervous even when people are holding her actually, I find myself keeping one eye on them and flinching when they move her. It's so hard not to run over and say, no, that's not how she likes to be held! Do you find that?

As for the cats, we missed them like mad. Haven't seen them in almost 2 months until now and we missed them so much they're sleeping on our bed, which we would never let them do before. Our female Ziggy has only just realised it's safe to come out of the airing cupboard during the day, so they were a bit freaked out. Our house is rented to (can't sell our own to fund a purchase!), but they made us sign a cat clause. Is your DP really allergic, or is he just not a cat person and using it as an excuse? I love cats, but notice that they totally polarise people - either love them or hate them.

And yes, another essay from me too - why use one word when a hundred will explain things better?

[Mirandabelle]

It is like babies can read clocks sometimes! Even if Zeke goes to bed later than normal, or is up longer overnight, he still wants to get up at 8am on the dot!

We have the putting Zeke down to play computer thing here too... sometimes I want to kick DP! He's wonderful with Zeke, and plays awesome games, and Zeke obviously adores him, but he kinda expects that after that he can do whatever he wants and Zeke will keep himself busy.

Actually Zeke is playing on the floor behind me atm, and I've already stopped typing twice to join in!

There isn't enough faith in a mother's instinct anymore IMHO, but there are also a lot of mums who aren't really aware of this instinct either, and look for advice rather than listening to their hearts or heads.

A change in her poo is quite normal now that she's on solids, and from what I've heard leaving out the cereal is quite a good idea. Apparently it can cause constipation in infants, even though it's recommended to help adults with constipation! If she really seems to have trouble a few sips of warm water (from a cup, bottle or spoon as you prefer) can help too, used to do the trick with Zeke! A gentle clockwise massage on the tummy after a warm bath is another great favourite here too.

We'd always planned I'd be a SAHM, at least until the youngest was at kinder, and even though Zeke came along unexpectedly and we aren't thinking of having anymore for a while, both Ryan & I believe it's best for Zeke to have one of us at home. When Zeke is no longer BFing, if Ryan happens to be out of work, we may change places and I might work, but right now we're happy with our arrangement. Not to mention I couldn't bear to think of the mess the house would end up in if Ryan was in charge!

Money can be a bit tight some weeks, and great others, Ryan's base wage is ok, but he often gets a lot of overtime, which is where we get the big money from. We usually make do though, there are lots of things I can do to save $ and because we go to Ryan's mums house once a week for dinner, that makes a big difference! Our rent is a bit high for what we have, but the scary thing is the landlord could actually ask for around $40-50 more per week!

Ryan's mum is great with Zeke, we actually have very similar ideas about parenting, she raised her kids the way I want to raise Zeke, and she's happy to change what she did in order to do something the way we want it to be done. My mum is a bit more tricky... not sure why exactly, I just think she's not used to me telling her what to do!

I tend to hover and get a bit nervous when my older rellies hold Zeke too, they're a bit frail as well, and even though they sit down Zeke is getting to the stage where he lurches around and leans to look at everything, and he's getting pretty strong, so I'm always a bit worried he might jump clean out of their arms one day!

I do kind of find it nice to see Zeke being held by someone else though, he is a really sociable boy, and it's great to see how much he enjoys talking to and meeting new people... but he does have ways he prefers to be held, and I really try to step back, especially with other people who already have kids... they do know what they're doing after all, and I don't want to come over as being paranoid. Mum's rellies would probably think it meant I wasn't coping well or something... they're not sure I can cope because I'm not married! (Like that would make a difference!)

And Ryan is sadly, genuinely allergic to most cats, he gets really bad hayfever and asthma. He gets pretty miserable at my mum's place. She used to have 5 cats, only 2 now, but they're long haired and shed just about all year round.

Anyway, it's time for Zeke's dinner so I'd better go!

[MummyPig]

Hello again

Well, I think Freyja has hit the same stage as Zeke was at now. She suddenly learnt how to roll onto her tummy at will on Tuesday - now I can't get her to stop!

Every time I try to settle her in bed, I have to rescue her from her tummy several times before she will become drowsy and sleep. Today she managed to clunk herself on her head with her merry-go-round music toy, so now we need to rearrange her room to be able to put it on a shelf where she can see it but not reach.

Can't believe it was only 2 weeks ago I was moaning because she hated tummy time!

Well, that's maybe 3 days without rice and we're still getting small amounts of poo, maybe once or twice a day. I've also realised that she is waking at the same time every night (roughly the end of 2 sleep cycles) with bad wind. She screams and I hug her and soothe her with booby, she does a few farts and then goes back to sleep. So, I think I might try the water tip (never heard that one before!) and the tummy massaging before bed tonight and see if it helps.

Apparently there have been 7 viewings in 2 months on our house (rental side) and only a couple sales wise. We can't drop the price any further in an attempt to sell as we're too close to negative equity as it is, so we're hoping that something will come of the next couple of rental viewings we have (in the UK people go round individually with the agents, rather than having open days like here). Everyone keep their fingers crossed for us!!

And unfortunately I can't save money by going to my mums or in-laws for dinner! Lucky you... though saying that, my mum can't cook to save herself.

I think part of the not wanting other people to hold her is that I want to keep her all to myself still and I think you're brave for actively wanting people to hold Zeke. Freyja is such a little flirt and will grin like mad at anyone who talks to her, so people are always asking for hugs and I have to keep finding excuses. I need to be more relaxed I know, but she was a longed for baby... perhaps I'm just slightly more paranoid than you Miranda!

My mum is one of those people who looks at you and says 'oh, you do it that way...' and just gives you this look. I think she sees herself as being an excellent mum as she has had 4 kids, but she is very set in her ideas. Plus, she smokes and happily does so around my 3 nephews who vary from a newborn to 3 years old, so I find it difficult to take advice from her! My whole family smokes around the babies, but I insist every time I visit that nobody is to smoke whilst we are there and that they have to open the window to let the smog out.

Freyja asleep now (woohoo!!) after only 4 tummy rescue missions and the smacked head incident, so I'm going to take the opportunity to finish making a picture for her wall.

Bye!