Nicole - did you ever follow up on your local breastfeeding support/discussion group? Would you like me to find the details for you if you don't have time? If you would, PM or email me or text me your suburb (dammit, now that I'm in 'reply' mode, I can't see if your username line has your suburb in it!) and I'll send you the details, even the contact details. You probably don't think it will make much difference, and you'd be surprised at how it can make a difference to know there's someone local to call and talk to when the going gets tough. Doing things on your own is not easy and a tough time can seem so much tougher when you think you're isolated I know members will post in and say that you've given it your best shot (you have!), and you will have lots of people saying they agree that it's the best thing to do. You haven't thrown in the towel yet, so I'm not going to, either, for what it's worth, ok? And this comes from someone who knows how bloody hard it can be. You've had a taste of success and it's all you can do to keep hanging on to that feeling. Can you whisper this into Ty's ear on my behalf please: "You can do it kid, you've done it before"? Just humour me! I know how heartbreaking it is. One idea - do you think you could book a massage once a week for a few weeks and get DH to look after the kids for that hour? Many places do massage after hours. You've been doing such a mammoth job with Ty, I reckon you deserve it...