Teepee - My DH works wed thurs and fri from 10am until 11pm (he's a chef) and so sometimes he doesn't see Lewis for 3 days if he's sleeping. It's pretty hard going by Friday, I really need a break. I would get your Mum round if I was you!
Hey Charly - I know how you feel about being a good Mum one minute and a bad one the next. Why don't we do a survey and see when everyone else feels like a good/bad Mum to make ourselves feel better!
I feel like a good Mum when:
I go into his room after his sleep and he gives me a big beaming smile like he's really pleased to see me!
I felt like a bad Mum when:
I was clipping his nails and yes you guessed it...clipped his skin by accident. Poor thing yelped and stuck his bottom lip out for ages
Nellnell - Vent away, I know what you mean. DH only seems to do the fun bits and never the night feeds. I know he has to work, but even on his days off he never volunteers anymore to get up in the night he will only do them if I ask him. He plays soccer on Sunday mornings so that is his excuse for needing sleep!
I must admit he is good at bathing and playing with him but I think men will be men really and avoid the less fun bits. It's the same as housework, they will only do it if pushed!
What bugs me is we can't just go out for half an hour without booking in a time, but they can just say I'm just going out for a while! Anyway don't get me started, I think the 24/7 responsibility takes time to get used to hey.
I think my AF is definitely on it's way I am so achey. It reminds me of labour pains so it's making me feel a bit yuck! My last one was 13 sept last year so it would be weird if that's when it came again.
Starfish - How awful for you and Diana. I don't know what signs to look for are, I would go to the GP to be safe. It's a lesson for us all. These things happen so easily.
Teepee - I was looking at your photos, Mikayla is gorgeous, I love the photo with her hat on. I see you have one of those safe and sound roll things. I have one now as Lewis's head was getting flat on one side. It's brilliant, it's one of those things I couldn't do without now.
Zofia you poor thing! And poor little Diana. You must be feeling aweful - I know I would be too. As nellnell said just watch that she isnt always sleepy and slugish but I too would suggest you take her to see a doctor just to make sure there arent any injuries that wouldnt be so obvious to you. Its easy to say but dont feel so bad - it could have happened to anyone!
Thanks Sarah I love that photo too!! I've blown it up, had it framed and its now on our living room wall I've been using that roll for ages now because she sleeps in our bed and I didnt want her rolling into one of us while we were sleeping. Its great! I even use it on the lounge cause I've always been afraid of her falling off like poor Diana did.
Nell it sounds like your having a hard time without DH's help. It must be so hard doing it all on your own. I have to say I'm really lucky. DH gives bubs all her baths and is more than happy to take over at night when he can tell I've had enough. He usually either does some housework or takes over with bubs when he gets home so that I can have a break but I suppose its easier for us because Mikayla is bottle fed.
DH is actually in her room now trying to get Mikayla to sleep in her cot because he knows I dont have the patience or the persistence . I can hear her screaming now - if it was me I would have picked her up an hour ago :P
DH goes to Melbourne for a work meeting on Monday and wont be back till Wednesday. Not only will I miss him like crazy but I know I'll probably have trouble coping on my own. I think I might get my mum to stay here for the couple of nights that he's away!
Has anyone used Fess saline drops?? Mikayla has a blocked nose which I can tell is making her feel really yucky and the chemist told DH that its the best thing to use.
I felt like a good mum last night when Mikayla slept through the night in her cot for the first time and woke up this morning as happy as ever!
I felt like a bad mum when she was screaming in pain from her reflux and there was nothing I could do about it. Also felt very guilty when i had to give up breastfeeding
BTW have spoken to mum and she'll be staying here Monday & Tuesday night - what a relief!!!
I haven't got mania but you probably think I have!
Alright, so last time I posted I was ****ED OFF. Now you may notice that I am 'IN LOVE'. It really corny but after I posted yesterday DH suggested he try DD with the bottle as it wasn't working for me at al (nurse suggested he do it as DD knows she'll get the real deal from me). So I agreed and shut myself in our room, while DH tackled the issue in the lounge. He really had an awesome shot at it and spent 1hour trying!!!!! Between cries, which he managed beautifully, DD didn't take any EBM but it was sooooooo good that DH gave it a go for me. Unfortunately I don't really think that I should persist anymore and wait until she is 6 months to try a cup. Oh hell, what's another 3 months attached to your daughter 24/7??? I love her to pieces but it does get to me occasionally.
Sarah - I agree with the break thing......I feel I need to let DH know where I am, even down to the fact "I'm going outside to collect/put out the washing" or "I'm going to have a bath - please leave me for at least 1/2 hour"......yet DH gets to have 'me' time everyday!! DH does a lot of driving to and from work and I must admit is NOT COPING WELL WITH THE BROKEN SLEEP FACTOR. I get up to DD during the night (usually only one get up) and have done since DH went back to work when DD was 4 weeks old. This doesn't bother me at all - as DH can't breastfeed!!!!! but I'm really going to push this bath thing just to give me some time to gather my thoughts and to improve his confidence with DD.
Charlyfrog - wow, here I am having a whinge and you have 2 little mites to look after - what a super mum. Sounds like you have it down pat.
I feel like a good mum when........ DD looks up at me while she is feeding, delatches and gives me the biggest grin......So good as I know she really likes her food so interacting with me is really important too.
I feel like a rotten mum when.........I get frustrated when she won't settle
Have a great week everyone.
By the way Debbie - how are you going with the mastitis? Hope it's all cleared up.
Nellnell - oh I defintiely wouldn't say I was a super mum, crikey no! I did meet a couple of super mums the other day, one's FIFTH child is 5 months and the other lady's NINTH, yes NINTH child is only 3 or 4 weeks old.......now there are the super mums!! But thank you for saying that anyways................I'll still take it!! hehe!! But there are those completely non-super mummy moments as well!!
Celsie - where are you?!?! Hope that you are doing well and your DP is doing well with his health. xx
Oh and......
I feel like a bad mummy when in my tiredness, I snap at my almost 3yr old and forget that she is just being almost 3, she's not out to get me!
I feel like a good mummy when in my tiredness, I control my snappyness and see how truly beautiful my almost 3yr old really is...then I just want to eat her all up!!!!
Diana seems to have forgotten all about her fall. On Friday night, after she fell, she was a bit unsettled, so she got a special bath, then got to sleep with mummy. Yesterday she woke up as bright and alert as ever and last night she slept through from 11:00 - 5:00. Yay! She has been happy and playful today (apart from her usual early evening sook). Just now she did a poo and wee in the potty again.
I feel like a good mummy when Diana feeds well, settles well and is generally happy. And when she smiles at me.
I feel like a bad mummy when Diana won't settle and I get annoyed because I think of all the housework and chores that I haven't done.
Hi everyone
nellnell - I know what you mean about the DH issue - i love my DH to pieces but he will come up to Jackson when he's screaming his head off say whats the matter and then leave him to scream and not pick him up - drives me crazy cos as soon as I pick Jackson up he will quieten down he just needs a cuddle usually - in saying that DH is so good at changing nappies and they love their bath time together (and I get a break as well)
anyway I feel like a GREAT MUM - when Jackson gives me a huge smile and his little legs kick out in excitement and when my DH gives me a hug and tells me I'm doing a great job
I feel like a TERRIBLE MUM when I have to put saline drops in Jackson's nose to try and clear it and he screams his head off
big hugs to everyone and their little people - be proud of yourselves no matter what - my early childhood nurse said to me the other day that there is no one else in the world Jackson would rather be with right now than me - if thats not a boost to the ego then what is?
Hi all.
Me - i am going ok. Mastitis seems to have mostly gone. No pain, just a lump still on one side. Aiden has settled onto the formula, and i am no longer panicky about him being constipated. He was such an amazingly happy little man yesterday, it was beautiful.
Sunday night, tried him in the cot for the first time. He had a nap in it Sunday arvo, and put him to sleep in it that night. Was abit of a disaster. He went to bed at 9 like normal, was awake again at 10, 12.30, 1.30, 5, and then 6am.
His bassinate is propped up, the cot isnt. The bassinete matteress is abit softer. It was cool last night, and we didnt have the fire going, so i had to tuck him in firm so that the blankets would stay on him, but, he hates tightness, so, that upset him. It was just all new. Poor little bugger. The only way i could get him to sleep was to keep pressing the "on" button of his winnie the pooh mobile, and the music would play for about 5or 10min, then, stop, and he would grizzle, so i would turn it on again. Would do that for about 30min, till i was satisifed he was asleep. Yesterday, i bought him a cd player, as a friend gave us a lullaby cd. Normally, he goes to bed at 9, but, last night, he was tired, so, at 7, he fell asleep, and i put him to bed, and he slept for about 30min, then awake. I feed him, and then it took till about 8.30 to get him to sleep again. Music, and trying 'self settling'... well, i guess that is what it is. I kept going in and sticking the dummy back in, give him a little hug once or twice, tuck his arms back under the blanket (i dont wrap) and eventually, off he went. NOrmally, he goes to sleep well on his own. Then, he woke at 2, and it took till just after 4am for him to go back to sleep, but, the upside is that he slept till just after 8. I think i get abit impatient for him to go to sleep as well, so, i rush him abit. Hopefully, once he gets used to the cot, he will go back to being a good little sleeper (and self settler)
I was going to post on here on sunday, but, i was miserable, and it would of been all depressing.
But, what i love about being a mum - when they cry, and you go to pick them up, and they stop crying and just start smiling. Cheeky little things.
What i hate about being a mum - when i am tired, and i dont want to be a mum anymore. That was sunday. I had had enough, and i didnt want to do it anymore.
Starfish & Charly - am glad your little ones are recovered from their falls.
Tina - i hope Mikyala puts on weight for you, but, i agree with you on that one - if she is happy and settled, then dont worry to much. She will make up for it when she is ready.
My DH is pretty good. It does irriate me when he says things like - here, you take him, i just want to make a call. And i think, who on earth holds him when I have to make a call??? But, generally, he is pretty good. When AIden was bad with the reflux, he wasnt so good, but, i dont blame him really. I would of handed him on to if i could.
Not bfeeding any more for me is great, i feel so much more alive, and in control of my life. I can get more done around the house, so, i dont get so stressed now. I felt guilty for a few days, but, Aiden is fine, and still happy, i am happy, and feel almost normal again. Its nice not to have someone else relying on my body. Not to have to worry about food choices, exercise, diets, alcohole, anything. Not to worry about how what i do will effect, firstly the baby, and then later, the milk.
I get out alot more now. Am acutally missing my mums group today so i can spend a hole day at home. And, want to catch up on my sleep. But, it easier now to just go, without worring about expressing, or breastfeeding. But, thats me, and i could never b/f in public. Was just not my thing. Full credit to those who can do it, (and those who have pushed thru mastitis) but, its just not me unfortunatly. I still have little moments of guilt.
Anyway, Tanz - i have no advise for you on self settling. Aiden is placid thankfully, so, generally, as long as i am patient, and get him when he is ready, then, i have no dramas putting him to bed. I have put him to bed when he has been wide awake, talking and smiling, and he has gone to sleep. Go figure... i just lucky.
Having a bad day today. Lewis has decided his day will start at 4.30am for the past two mornings. He has slept form 7pm - 1am and then woken up at 4.30am all full of life and no chance of going back to sleep. And then he just catnaps for the rest of the day so no chance of me catching up on any sleep either.
I don't know what to really, either try and put him to sleep at 8pm or try and dreamfeed him at 10pm. Does anyone have any bright ideas?
Debbie - Glad to hear FF is working well for you. It must be great to feel so much more in control now.
Debbie great to hear that things are getting better for you. I know what you mean about BF not being your thing. I felt the same way. And dont worry, the guilt will pass - you've given Aiden a great start by breast feeding him for as long as you did. He's happy and thriving and thats all that you could ask for!
Tanz I cant really help you with Ava's temper as Mikayla is for the most part a very calm baby. She's been sleeping in her own cot for 3 days now. The first night DH had to sit with her for 3 hours before she'd settle. The following night we'd put her in when she was sleepy and just sit there until she fell asleep. As of last night she's pretty much settling and putting herself to sleep. I know its only early days yet but for now she's being great. She cries when her dummy falls out but apart from that she "sleeps like a baby" so to speak I was told to allow 3-4 days of sleepless nights so just persist. Leave her in there and only go in to calm her down then walk out again. Eventually she'll get used to it. I've found that Mikayla is alot more settled in general since she's been sleeping in her cot too - she's alot happier when she's awake now! Good luck with it all xx
Sarah sorry to hear you've had a hard few days. Maybe it might be an idea to try to keep Lewis up at night if you can manage it. He might even be going through a growth spurt - they apparantly sleep less when they're growing. Hope its only temporary
We went to see the paed yesterday and Mikayla's put on 200grams Although he said she was still about 500gr behind he was very happy that she's started to put on weight again. We have to go back in 2 months for another check and he said to start her on solids (farex) in 4-6 weeks as she isnt really keen on milk and doesnt drink a great deal of it. He said that he doesnt think its necessary to hold off till 6 months.
Take care & I'll catch up with you all later xx
Last edited by teepee2; September 12th, 2007 at 07:20 PM.
Charly and Starfish - hope your little ones are ok after their falls, what a nightmare for you! Debbie - glad to hear things are better for you and Aiden now you are FF. Everyone else - thanks for sharing your good/bad mummy moments, keep them coming!
We are going well, we've slept from say 10.30 to 6ish for a few nights now, so perhaps this is the start of sleeping through. Angus seems to want to feed less times per day now and is quicker too, and definitely growing, particularly in length. Some of those 000 suits are too short now! What a great excuse to go shopping yesterday........
I'm excited to say I finally go to go skiing this season for the first time since Angus was born!!!! Probably not such a big deal for most people, but as I can be skiing in 40 mins from my home and see the snow from my lounge every day, it's huge for me. Didn't last long as I was easily tired but I hadn't forgotten how to do it. My lovely husband looked after our son while I was out on the slopes and graciously sacrificed the opportunity to ski so that I could. What a top bloke!!!
I think we're starting to get the hang of Angus' sleep patterns. He tends to start getting grizzly in the afternoon and that's when he needs a little assistance to get to sleep, especially late arvo and early evening. When we can tell he needs to sleep (jerky arms, rubs eyes, looks tired), our current solution is to wrap him up tight, and pop him in the bassinet in his room with the radio on and light off. He usually cries (or what my husband calls 'sleep screams') for 5 mins or so and then goes off to sleep. But those 5 mins are terrible for me to hear, I just want to cuddle him. But if I do, then he doesn't go to sleep so I'm just making him even more tired and grumpy and not helping.
When I feel like a bad mummy: When Angus is 'sleep screaming' and i can't go in to comfort him as it just makes things worse. Makes me cry!
When I feel like a good mummy: When Angus smiles and laughs at me when I'm singing.
PS have put a photo of Angus in black and white in my photo gallery, can you check it out for me to see if it worked ok? If so, I'll whack some more in!
Feathertop - the photo worked. He is a cute bub! It must of been great for you to get back out skiing, i bet you felt quite 'normal' again.
Aiden is sleeping better in his cot now. Well, abit better. Aslong as he's asleep when i put him to bed at night, which he normally is as i put him down after a feed, then he is fine. When he wakes in the early hours, has a feed, and can then generally grizzle for abit before he goes back to sleep. I leave him to grizzle. I get up if it turns to major upset, but, generally, last about 5mins or so. Getting him to have a decent nap during the day is a battle. He is asleep now, he has an 7am ish feed, plays for about an hour or so, and then will sleep till 9ish, maybe 10. But, in the afternoons, he gets grumpy, and is difficult to get to sleep. But, i think i discoved yesterday that i have not been feeding him quite enough. He drank 190ml before going to bed last night!! All feeds i make him 120ml, plus formula, (the novalac is 30ml per scoop), and generally, he struggles to finish it. Only occasionally wants more. I have to try and pick the times to make him a bigger bottle. I dont want to give him a big bottle every time.
I am vaguely thinking of giving him farex at 3months. He is well and truely in 00 clothes. fills then out in lenght perfectly. Was going to hold of till 4months, but, might start a little earlier, perhaps just abit in the afternoons to help settle him, as that is when he is at his grumpiest.
Sarah - no tips for helping him sleep i'm afraid. Try the dream feeds, maybe its just a phase Lewis is going thru? The only thing i could think of is giving him a bigger feed when he wakes at 4.30, hopefully, being really full might make him sleepier?
Tina - congrats at Mikaylas weight gain. She will catch up soon enough. I am glad she has taken to the cot. Its a scary moment. They look sooo tiny in it.
Oh, and Feathertop - sleep screams.. i think that is the perfect word for it. Its what Aiden does, crys(eyes closed), and i put his dummy back in, and like magic, he is out like a light.
Its a pain he hates wrapping, cause he tends to still wake himself up during his lighter sleeps which is a pain.
Great photos Debbie and Feathertop, they are such cute little men!
Funny you should say Aiden drank 190mls Debbie, Lewis has just done the same! I used to make bottles up to 150ml but he never finished them so I started doing 120mls during the day. However he just guzzled 120ml and then I made him up another 90 and he drank the lot! Maybe it is a growth spurt like you said Teepee. Last night I stretched him out to
7.50pm and he slept until 3am. He did start whinging at 2am but he didn't fully wake up. Anyway he wouldn't go back down until 4.30am and then woke at 6am, so I was really pleased. I will be trying to stretch him out again tonight.
Has anyone got a Baby Einstein DVD? I bought one yesterday and Lewis loves it! And it gives me 45 mins to do whatever I want as he is glued to the TV!
nope - dont have that, but, he does love Raggs. Actually, he loves anything on the tv. Bright lights. He particulary loves Raggs thou. When i was expressing, 11am was always a good time.
Aiden was grumpy, he feed at 6.30am, slept from 7.45 till about 8.30, feed again, then, i couldnt settle him, gave him another bottle, and chucked him into bed at 10am. He grizzled for about 15min, i stuck his dummy back in, and now, 2.5hours later, he is still out. He made a little noise about 11.10am, and i stuck his dummy in, and by god, I cant beleive it. I think he needs a bit of a bigger feed, so, i have got water in bottles, 3 with 120ml, and 3 with 150ml. Will give him the bigger one when he wakes and see how he goes after that.
Thats not a bad sleep last night Sarah, did you take the chance to get to bed early as well? thats one of the reasons why I dont put Aiden down till 9, (earlier if he wants to) cause i figure, no point him being asleep when i am awake. I want us to all sleep at the same time! When he gets older, will start getting him to go to bed earlier.
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I've been using that roll for ages now because she sleeps in our bed and I didnt want her rolling into one of us while we were sleeping. Its great! I even use it on the lounge cause I've always been afraid of her falling off like poor Diana did.
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