Tara - Jake started mucking up too after we went on our first hol at the beginning of May. Bcos we were in a diff place I over compensated for his unsettledness (a word?) by feeding him back to sleep if he woke up during the night. We got home and it kind of continued but not as frequently the he started teething, got a cold, there were a thousand reasons that I gave myself to get up and cuddle him to settle and or feed him back to sleep. In between all of this he was weaned off his reflux med which also contributed to his unsettledness and not BFing properly. Then I went to Sydney for just over a week at the beginning of June and once again an unfamiliar place plus he'd come off his meds and I and him in a flat portacot (his cot is usually at approx 30 degree angle) so I started trying to feed him back to sleep. So began the 3 plus feeds a night and he STILL wouldn't settle. SO I thought it's too f%$^&@g cold to cuddle him in a chair in Sydney so I'll take him to bed with me. Have never done this before not a fan of co-sleeping bcos I am a roly poly sleeper. Plus at home when he comes into our bed it's usally in a weekend morning for a cuddle and a read / play. BUT he slept. SO I started the only settle when feeding and sleeping with mummy cycle. I was a mess in Sydney not only was I sleep deprived but doing it all on my own bcos DH was in Brissie still and my sister was 38wks pg and too huge to move let alone try to help settle a writhing 10kg heavy weight. Tried panadoling him to sleep, tried demazin bcos he had a cough / runny nose still, tried polaramining him to sleep. All of this just irritated his reflux even more consequently making him cranky as all hell. SO we went home and I cried as soon as I saw my DH and basicaly for at least 5 mins every hour so. He went back onto his meds - saw Dr as soon s we got home - and stopped waking so much but still at least 2 -3 times and only settle on mummy. Sleep deprivation worsened. FOund myself one night holding him in front of me bawling yelling at him why won't you sleep. Of course that helped settle him! lol! That was when I went to child health and then to my GP and that takes us to the beginning of my long story last night.
It's ****. I wracked myself with guilt bcos I should have known his reflux was contributing, I shouldn't have filled him with all those meds, I should hav angled his portacot.... and the list goes on! Mother guilt is the worse thing and when you think you have a handle on it something else comes up - am I feeding him enough food, is he getting all his food groups. Oh no he has started pooing 5 times a day I'm over feeding him blha blah blah...
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