Its not easy letting go, i always fear ill miss all of Chels's 'firsts' cos she is in care.....but i have her for life and im sure there will be plenty of them. I never went on mat leave, just left work completely....never had a plan of going back for some time, but then DH work offered me some paid work and i took it up.... it dont mean i go every week tho... just when i can be bothered or if im feeling well enuf!