Babies Born October 16th ~ 31st 2009

[Kazmar]

I have birthed another NON SLEEPER!!!!

Fi- What ever works for you, and sleeping on your chest isn't that bad They have just come from INSIDE you they need to feel you. Its understandable Dont listen to ppl that say "You'll make a rod for your own back" blah blah blah
It doesn't bother me in the slightest if Annabelle hopes into bed with us! I mean really they are only little for such a small time

JellyBean- Thats what my mum was told when we were born Mind you Im already a worry wort when she's on her back haha. I doubt you're the only mummy out there with that same secret

[Stevie]

grr i posted a big reply and then BB decided to have a fit on me

LJ, you poor thing, my DH is still driving me up the wall he goes back to work tomorrow and as bad as i feel.. I CANT WAIT!!

DD is amazing, she blows me away everyday, i have a feeling she will do that for the rest of my life, while i was pregnant, i was saying i dont want any more babies, that she will be the one and only, but now im already thinking about the next one (not getting pg any time soon) but i know that in the future i would love to give her a brother or sister.

BFing is still a bit of a struggle, but its not too bad, my left boob isnt producing much milk and my right one produces all the milk basically which is frustrating as well as painful, im still putting her on the left one to try and stimulate milk but it doesnt seem to be working very well. any ideas?

anyway im off for now, bubs is awake
take care of your little ones ladies xxx

[JellyBean]

Hey LJ- sounds like you are having a pretty rough time at the moment - its totally understandable!! I had a very hard time with DS1 - and felt like it was never going to end! Don't beat yourself up if you feel like you need a good cry - I have already had a couple this time around and I consider Jasper a GOOD baby compared with DS1!! Lack of sleep will do that to ya!
I am up the opposite end of Perth from you, but if you want some help/advice or just wanna chat on the phone or even meet up sometime let me know. I am happy to come to you. Perhaps you can trial my sleepy wrap on your bubba - I also have a book on getting babies into a good routine for sleeping that helped me heaps with DS1 (unfortunately it wasn't recommended to me until he was over 3 months old ). You are free to borrow it if you like!!
Let me know. I think you have my mobile. I'm in Padbury, by the way.

XXX

[fi1980]

Jellybean what is the sleepy wrap and where can I get one? Also what is the book you mentioned? I'm at my witts ends today after another restless night. I'm so totally exhausted. All I seem to do is feed her then try to settle her, feed her again etc etc and when settling takes forever or doesn't seem to work it feels like all I'm doing is feeding her and driving myself insane because one of my nipples is still really sore and it's a struggle to feed from that side, but seeing as I've had mastitis I know I need to keep using that boob otherwise it will all get much worse. So today I'm having a bit of a breakdown and I just don't know what to do! I know it will get better but in the meantime I don't know what to do so that I can cope with it better. As much as I love being a mum it is so much harder than I ever imagined!

[JellyBean]

Sure Fi - I totally understand hon - it IS really hard!! In other culures bubs are raised in a kind of community based care - with new mothers surrounded by women who share the burdon for the mother. Unfortunately in our culture we are expected to bear the brunt of taking care of children alone - and it can really take its toll. If you really need help just shout it from the rooftops to anyone who you dont mind being in your personal space.
Don't be afraid to say "I need food - please get me this or that" or "come and do my washing and clean my kitchen!" If they really want to help you (instead of just ogle at baby) they will come running.

So - the sleepy wrap - you can order it online from nursing angel - they have everything you need for breastfeeding and babywearing. Comes in a great range of colours and one size fits all - even Dad! Its a bit fiddly to get on at first but once you get used to it its a peice of cake. I just put it on at the start of the day (and sometimes at night) and after each feed Jasper goes straight into it and falls asleep whilst I walk around the house. Rather than carry him until the next feed, I gently take him out when he is sound and place him on his tummy in his bassinette (as mentioned in my previous post). Whether or not you feel comfortable trying the tummy part is up to you - but I honestly would be in Ds's room every few minutes if I laid him on his back!

The book is called On Becoming Babywise - there is a website where you can order the book and accompanying DVD. I can't post any links here but if you can't find it PM me and I'll send them to you. You may not necessarily agree with everything written in the book, but like most baby books go - you just take what you want from it- what works for you. As I said before, it really helped me.

As a side note, I also kept a food journal with DS1 (wrote down what I ate) incase he had a particularly bad night with wind and that way, if there were any patterns present it would give me an idea of what foods to avoid. The tricky part was working out how long it took for a particular food to enter the breastmilk. I think i worked out that it took at least 7 hours - so, for example if I ate a strong curry for dinner, the next couple of feeds may be fine - 9pm, 12am etc, but DS would start reacting badly to feeds in the wee hours of the next morning - like the 3am or 6am feed

XX

[Kazmar]

Jellybean what is the sleepy wrap and where can I get one? Also what is the book you mentioned? I'm at my witts ends today after another restless night. I'm so totally exhausted. All I seem to do is feed her then try to settle her, feed her again etc etc and when settling takes forever or doesn't seem to work it feels like all I'm doing is feeding her and driving myself insane because one of my nipples is still really sore and it's a struggle to feed from that side, but seeing as I've had mastitis I know I need to keep using that boob otherwise it will all get much worse. So today I'm having a bit of a breakdown and I just don't know what to do! I know it will get better but in the meantime I don't know what to do so that I can cope with it better. As much as I love being a mum it is so much harder than I ever imagined!

Fi- Your nipples will clear up My were HORRIBLE for about 2.5wks Try walking around letting your boobies free and pop some breast milk on them.
As for restless nights, try her pram???? Not ideal for a long period of time but will get you some sleep!

Well last night ladies I was up at 12am through till 4am I have another clingy bubs but this one seems alot more clingy then I thought possible haha
Though last night was the 1st night in a while Annabelle didn't had to my stress with waking up. She slept through, pitty Lucy didn't get the memo that mummy needs sleep to SURVIVE!

[fi1980]

Thank you JB and DM for all of your advice! It is so good to have girls like you that are not only going through the same thing but have already been through it before and have a few tricks up your sleeve! I will try and find those things online. JB as for the tummy sleeping I haven't tried it but I think most of us were probably put to sleep on our tummies as babies so I don't think it is as bad as what some people make out. Trends seems to chagne every few years so I think it's a matter of finding out what works best for your baby and that may not always be what the current experts say you should be doing. My SIL let her little boy sleep on his tummy as it was the only way he would settle, I think a lot of people do.

DM if I'd known you were up at that hour we could of had a chat! Leila kept me up from 11-4 last night... she got some sleep in between but I didn't. She is quite a clingy baby at times so everytime I think she's settled and I try and put her back into her bassinet she starts crying. Sometimes she just really needs her mummy.

[ElleJay]

Thanks ladies - again, I'll catch up on personals soon.

Just wanted to say regarding having a tough time - I REALLY feel like I am having a tough time.. With the BFing, the cracking has become so bad that I'm always expressing now because I've been bleeding thru the cracks which I discovered in the shower last night. I'm going late night shopping tonight, so I'm gonna see if I can pick up some nipple shields so I can recover... I really actually miss BFing DS
With sleep, don't get me started on that! I try my hardest to keep him awake during the day but by the time it comes around to night time, he's crying cause he's over tired and when he does eventually go to sleep (90% of the time lately he's falling asleep on my chest) and I transfer him to his basinette, he wakes up and starts screaming!

I'll bbl, I've mastered typing with one hand (many sprained wrists years ago thru playing sports also help that I mastered it years ago) but am struggling to feed a whining DS

[Kazmar]

Fi and Lj- The hole falling asleep then wake up once put back in bassinett thing is EXACTLY my problem
Loves my chest at night but will sleep in her own bed during the day??? WTF!

I have done this before BUT obviously every child is different We can get through it together ladies!

Lj- There is lots of things that can be done about your poor nipples Go to the chemist and have a chat

[Stevie]

again LJ, my nipples were SOO bad, both were so cracked and at one point when i took DD off one boob i was actually dripping blood i was in tears almost everytime i fed. i also manages to get an infection in my breasts which was also horribly painful i totally understand where your coming from and that alone can make you feel like you arent coping, i cried for almosta week stright i went out and got some nipple sheilds, the BEST thing i could have done, it took a couple of days and lots of lansinoh cream and plenty of walking around with my boobies out but they got so much better, i cant express coz we cant afford a pump so i couldnt do it that way, thats the problemw ith them feeding, your boobies dont get a chance to heal. mine are still sore and alittle cracked but no where near as bad as they were,
im finding that when DD falls asleep on my chest during the day when i put her done she's awake 10-15 mins later, not every time but most times. its a little frustrating, im going to have to invest in sling coz i cant get anything done
In saying that, i feel so lazy,and to top it off DH has been constatntly having a go at me about how i dont do anything anymore it makes me so angry. all ive had time to do is sit on the couch with my boob out, and if im not feeding her or holding her coz she's crackin it, she's asleep and im too exhausted to do anything. i told him he should try getting up 2-3 times a night and then sit up for an hour each time feeding/burping/settling her and see how tired he is. he hasnt been of much help and he cant see why i get mad, he gets angry at me coz he thinks im getting angry at her coz she's crying, truth is im angry at him for not taking her for a min so i can quickly inhale my dinner so i can feed her and get her ready for bed.
he left for work today and as much as i know its going to be a little difficult with him gone, i am so relieved, i finally get some time alone (you know what i mean )
sorry for my whinge, grr.. he's just been getting on my nerves.
i hope everyone else is doing good

[JellyBean]

Husbands can really suck at the best of times. I empathise with you guys on that one!
My DH is generally great, but yesterday he had a few snipes at my lagging housework, and told me off for not having sorted through an old bag of videos!!! Hello? In between breastfeeding, cleaning poo, making toddler meals and trying to have a shower, I dont have time to scratch myself!! I totally agree with you Stevie - they would be absolutely useless if they had to get up 2 or three times for an hour at a time!!
Not to mention their complete disregard at times for the physical demands our bodies are under despite the lack of sleep. I have told DH the milk doesn't just fall from the sky!!! Our bodies are working 24/7 to make that liquid gold and we shouldn't feel guilty for sitting on the couch!!! Add to that the fact that many of us are probably still losing blood. Sometimes husbands need a not so friendly reminder....

Sore boobies - what a nightmare. I have been fortunate in that department so far......
Maybe try feeding longer off only one breast at a feed, rather than feeding off each breast - and alternate each breast so you are allowing each boobie a bit more 'time off'?
I usually open DS's mouth wider after he has attached with my hands- so that he is not actually touching the nipple - kwim? He is probably wondering what the hell I am doing but it makes life easier for me. Go the breast pads definitely.

Re: the sleeping on the chest thing. If you are at your wits end, just throw a couple of pillows behind you to prop yourself and baby up on a slight angle (better for wind etc) and just close your eyes and allow yourself to pass out like that with bubs on your chest - at least at night. Bubs will start to stir when he/she is ready for a feed and will wake you. If it means you wake up feeling like a human being again in the morning - then its worth it. Then you will have the energy during the day to try to get them better aquainted with their bassinette.

[fi1980]

DM my little one is exactly the same! Generally we have no problems sleeping during the day, it's night time when she becomes really unsettled and clingy.

I'll join you all on the hubby rant! Mine was great at first but now he's over the initial excitement he pretty much leaves me to it. So I'm recovering from a c-section, have had cracked nipples, mastitis and now a cold (thanks to his silly mother who came and stayed with us last week when she was sick!! ) the baby wont settle at night and I'm the one who is constantly feeding and trying to resettle her, often up for hours on end. I'm totally sleep deprived and DH, who is still on paternity leave, seems to think that this is a great time for him to do lots of projects around the house. I gave him a hard time earlier and he told me that he doesn't have boobs therefore can't do much and I need to express more if I want him to help!! I explained that expressing isn't always easy, it's very time consuming and after feeding, burping, changing, settling, resettling etc there's bugger all time for me to stick a pump on my boob!! When he does offer to take her off me he usually just plonks her on the couch Honestly, they just don't realise how demanding it is. Today I have not even had time for a shower and I still need to find time to do my stupid exam....

Ok, rant over I'm going to try and shovel down some dinner before Leila needs me again

Let's hope we all have a good night with babies that sleep soundly and wake infrequently

Fi x

[ElleJay]

Bless my MIL!! She brought over a sling for me that she bought.. Oh I owe both her and FIL a great present this year for Christmas! He's sound asleep in it right now, and I couldn't be happier.. We're off to the shops soon, so I'm gonna see if I can pick up the nipple shields from the chemist (is that where you'd find them?) and do some grocery shopping. Honestly, in this past week alone, she's done more for me when we see her (which this week it's been 3 times) than DH has during the nights, every night!

JellyBean - In the regards to DH, mine is like most of yours, though the advantage for me is the fact that he was with me when the dr told him 'She is not to lift anything heavier than DS until the 6 week checkup' so he's been pretty good.. He usually cooks and cleans up, though one day I got up to do the dishes because I was just sick to death of not doing anything (except feeding and changing bum and the rest) and felt hopeless.. Boy did I get a telling off! The thing that s**ts me with my DH though, is that I express my milk (right now I have to with the way my boobs are) and we discussed sharing the feeding duties so I express so he can feed him... I STILL find myself being the one that feeds him, expressed or boob! He also drives me nuts when he says to me 'You know your not pushing that pram very straight' I'd like to see him push the pram straight when you've got a s**tload of people walking in your direction and not moving for you!
That's exactly how I feed him when I do feed.. Today all I've done is express, express, express and given him that.. Not taking my chances until I get to the shops and get those damn shields! The other thing I get frustrated over when DS is feeding is sometimes he'll click his tongue and the nipple will appear near his lip and he'll then suck it back in... When he does that, I KNOW he's not attached properly so then I re-attach him, but then he'll move around so much that it'll happen again.. Oh the frustration!

Kass - Yeah, DS is like that.. Loves sleeping on my chest! Used to love sleeping on DHs chest but since he's been back at work and he's barely gotten to spend time with him (all he does is work, come home and work some more) so now it's my chest he loves snuggling onto.. MOST of the time I can get him into the bassinette no worries, but it's the 2am - 4am 'go back into the bassinette and sleep' put downs that he doesn't wanna sleep in there and just starts crying again.
My MIL suggested and brought over pawpaw cream, so along with the shields, I'm gonna give that a try and if it's not working after a few days, then back to the chemist.

Stevie - Yeah, I was always dreading feeding time (as much as I loved it for the bonding) the first time my right side was cracked because it just hurt too much, and each suck there would be another tear. When I found the dried blood in the shower on my nipple, I shook my head and tried expressing a little bit from it, but it started bleeding again almost straight away.. so I feel for you! I did the crying too
My DH was so happy when I went into the nesting mode.. but now I'm home and since being home have folded 2 loads of washing and washed 1 load of dishes and thats it - he's getting annoyed. Whenever he snaps about the house looking horrible, I quickly like to remind him that I DID have major surgery and that I have to take it easy.. I hear him then mumble bout 'cant use that excuse forever' but I know he's only worried bout when we have people visiting.

Fi - Hun, my DH is basically the same. He'll hold DS when I ask him to but other than that, if theres a 2am nappy change needed, DH gives me the 'Do you mind, I have to work tomorrow' look and then rolls over. Unfortunately for me, DH only had 7 days of parental leave and used most of them when I was in hospital still, so I'm like you.. Recovering from a c-section and having to do everything. HUGE hugs for you . Instead of doing things around the house, whenever there's an opportunity to get out the house, he'll take it.. Eg. There were regional finals for poker bout 15 minutes from home on Tuesday and all day he was convinced he wasn't going to go.. 6:40pm rolled around and he says 'I'm off, I'll see you when I get home' - which wasn't till 10:30ish.. Except for the essential 'going to appts and shopping' outings, I've gone out once, and that was yesterday to the Perth BB meetup.. He's been to the casino with an old friend, to poker twice without me and DS, a funeral (but I wouldn't wanna go there anyways) and golfing a couple times too.

Will pop back later now that I have two hands - if not tomorrow cause again DH has lots of work to catch up on online... I hate report time

[Stevie]

LJ: i think thats why it upset me so much with the BFing, in my head i had there weird misconseption that it was supposed to be easy and natural when in fact its not at all. i wanted so badly to enjoy feeding her and being close to her but i was in tears every time. and to top it off DH was all "it cant be THAT bad!" and getting mad with me for being upset (admittedly he couldnt even talk to me and id burst into tears) after a few days he started to worry that i had PND but thankfully once my boobies started getting better so did my mood lol.
Jellybean: i did what you suggested, as last night i woke up to DD at 12am and she wouldnt go to sleep til about 2-30 -3 , then she woke again at 6.30 i was so tired i just put her on my chest and went back to sleep, thankfully so did she lol. its propbably not something ill do all the time, but it sure helps when ur so tired you cant keep ur eyes open.

Other than the sleep dep, all is well, i got some awesome news yesterday, oneof my best firends is pregnant with number2, im so excited, it totally mademy day hehe.

anyway i hope no one is having a melt down, i cant beleive how fast time is going, it feels like i had her just yesterday, buts she's a month old now.. it all seems so scary,
and i cannot believe i am now a Mum, it still really hasnt sunk in yet, lol.
xxx

[fi1980]

Well we had a pretty good night last night... all because we let Leila sleep on her tummy! It's such a funny thing, it seems so taboo these days doesn't it? Even though I know I was slept on my tummy as a baby, as were all of my brothers and it was the done thing back then, I feel quite conflicted about it. Anyway, we all had a good sleep and I actually feel human today!

[Stevie]

Fi: just a question how do you pronounce Leila? Ly-la? or Lee-la?
im so sorry im shocking with names.

Id like to try Alissa on her belly but she sleeps really well on her back, maybe if i start having problems ill give it a go!

A question ladies.. anyone using dummies? i brought some while i was prgnant, DH and i hadnt really discussed whether or not we were going to use them or not til she was almost here, i wasnt really keen on the idea coz i know it can be difficult breaking the dummie habit (im sorry but theres nothing worse than seeing a 4yr old with a dumm in their mouth) anyway we decided we wouldnt use them. today DD was being a grizzle bum, she was acting like she was hungry but id put her on and she's fuss about and keep coming off and just being a pain in the bum in general lol. so i thought what they hey, pulled out the dummy and wammo, she loved it. once she eventually spat it out i threw it in the bin, feeling aweful that id gone against what we'd decided, and DH would kill me if he came home to find she was using a dummy. We do ok without it, but theres just some times (in the car, shopping, when im empty) that a dummy would come in handy. Just wanted opinions i guess.

I injured my poor baby for the first time yesterday and felt absolutely terrible. I was getting her out of her bouncer and i was unclipping the clip but it slipped out of my fingers and pinched her little arm, i didnt know what happened, she just started screaming like a crazy person (id never seen her cry like that before.. she was in pain, my poor darling ) then i seen the little pinch marks on her cute little pudgee arm and i almost cried with her, i felt terrible

anyway, im off to bath my little darling
hope everyone is getting plenty of sleep
xxx

[fi1980]

Another good night for us! I was up every 3-4 hours for feeds but that doesn't bother me, so long as she settles soon after her feed I can handle it. What I can't handle is the hours and hours it was taking me to resettle her. Tummy sleeping really seems to be doing the job for us, Leila must find it so much more comfortable. I've noticed too that she is actually able to bring up wind in that position where as she can't bring it up when on her back so I'm guessing that helps a lot.

Stevie, we pronounce her name 'Layla'. It's funny because before she was born I was tossing up the spelling constantly - I kept saying to DH should we go with 'Layla' or 'Leila'. I really liked Leila but was worried people would not be sure how to pronouce it so almost went with Layla just so everybody would be clear on it. And I was right, so many people are not sure how to pronounce her name.... maybe we should of gone with Layla!!

Hope everyone had a good night

Fi

[JellyBean]

Another good night for us! I was up every 3-4 hours for feeds but that doesn't bother me, so long as she settles soon after her feed I can handle it. What I can't handle is the hours and hours it was taking me to resettle her. Tummy sleeping really seems to be doing the job for us, Leila must find it so much more comfortable. I've noticed too that she is actually able to bring up wind in that position where as she can't bring it up when on her back so I'm guessing that helps a lot.

Fi

Bingo Fi! Its not so much the getting up and feeding, but rather the staying up afterward that kills you!! I'm so glad the tummy is working for you - I was a bit scared to share my 'secret' but after hearing all the sleep deprivation posts I couldn't help but suggest it. It always amuses me when we have had visits to the child health nurse and she is like - "wow - your baby is really strong on his tummy - that's great, you must be giving him adequate tummy time" Lol - I've never had the guts to say why that may be!

I would pronounce Leila as Layla, by the way - and I prefer the spelling that you chose. Leila is very pretty IMO!

XX