amy - i would just like to say that most of the things you mention, I have also felt - I settle Zander all the time so it is quicker if i do it - DH has NEVER got up during the night, he has NEVER put Zander to bed at night time, and only during the day probably as many times as you have fingers. DH travels for on average 2 nights away from home per week, which i 3 full days really - I too am the sole caregiver. I am sure your case mgr was pointing things out you already know, just like I know too - but knowing you have to let go, and actually letting go are hard. But why do we have to? My DH works a full job and then comes home to a crazy house - he might want some peace too - so it is about balance really. He does bath and bedtime story with the other 2 whilst I b/f and put Z to bed.

My MIL had 5 kids, but I wouldn't leave Z with her at the moment either cos he has no idea who she is - but they live interstate so different story. My bestie here had my other two on SUnday for our anniversary lunch - she offered to take Zander too and I express EBM - I was not comfortable with this - the what ifs he didn't take the bottle, and he is little and no reason why he couldn't come with us. Also I feel guilty for burdening someone else with my kids - that comes from having no family here to help - so even though lunch was lovely, I felt like I was rushing to get home to "relieve" her, but I know she didn't care what time we got back

I just want to assure you hun that it is not because you have a medical condition that you feel this way.

DUnno if that helps or not ...... oh well you know more about me now