hi hayley! thanks so much for your encouragement. you've been a big help to my confused state of mind. your comment on how the BFing mums in your mums group are switching to formula now has reminded me that i am happy to have gone through 3 months + of BFing when i couldn't even contemplate getting through 1 month at the start. and that i don't see myself BFing up to 1 year anyway which means that i'll be weaning her off the breasts soon so why am i pushing this so hard now?
i realized that it was partly due to my selfishness that i'm pushing it at this time. to make it more convenient for us when we travel to the u.s. in march. this is so not right of me. i feel so guilty but at the same time, i'm also happy that i've woken up and realized the mistake i'm making.
but in fairness to myself, i really thought that the milk was coming in which was why i decided to give it another go. now, i know better and will just stick to what i've been doing.
thanks to everyone for your encouragements. i think, like all the advice that we get from all around, this was an idea that i had to try and discard for myself. i think i might've gone with regrets if i didn't really give it a good try to go purely BFing.