hi ladies!!

well, this is the first moment i've had to myself since Abigail arrived...

things started off going really well - good labour and birth, good first few days in hospital, even left a day early, then as soon as i got home things slowly started going downhill... i am having terrible difficulties breastfeeding. my nipples are now in such a state that i couldn't bring myself to feed abigail at all last night - it's SOO painful - much worse than the drug-free labour!! my nipples are all cracked, scabby, bleeding and just a plain disaster zone!! on monday i asked to see one of the hospital's lacation consultants and they said that the first day they could fit me in was tuesday (as in 8 days later)... so i'm booked in there for next tues, but at this rate she'll be on formula by then... i went to the breastfeeding association headquarters (just around the corner from me) yesterday afternoon and they have referred me to a private lacation consultant. she only consults on fridays though, and i need to make my way into the city to see her - will call shortly and see if she can fit me in tomorrow... after expressing milk and bottle feeding through the night i tried abigail on my boob again this morning and she appeared to attach much better than usual and although it was still excruciating, i was able to persevere for a good 15mins and didn't feel like snatching her off and throwing her against the wall, so hopefully i'm making progress!! poor little thing... she is such a good baby and i am beginning to resent her because she is obsessed with my boobs!! i just want to give them a rest!!

my DH went back to work today which was upsetting. we haven't had a single day at home together yet. my sister stayed with us the first two days we were home and then the day she left my PIL arrived and just left this morning. it was actually good to have my sis here (was when my BF issues started and she took me to the chemist and helped me choose a breast pump, etc to get me through the night) but i've found the last few days REALLY difficult. the in-laws just wanted to stay home. the TV was on all the time, and every time i put Abigail down to sleep i'd turn my back and she'd be awake again and in one of their arms!! they just wouldn't leave her be!! i bit my tongue and tried not to show my frustration - they were only here for a few days and were clearly smitten by her, but it made for a difficult few days for me. i think that's also one of the reasons i've had so much trouble feeding - they were sitting on the couch watching me for the last two days so i just tried to shove my boob into her mouth quickly before they could see it rather than concentrating properly to make sure that her attachment was spot on...
oh dear, this has been a big whingey post... did any of you ladies have trouble with your nipples? how did you resolve them?
i spent the whole night crying last night, and if i don't get this sorted soon i can see that she'll end up on formula which i really don't want...

queenie - congrats on your pink crowd-warmer - hopefully the show isn't too far away!! glad to hear that you're participating in the DIY cervical exams - if you do them regularly you will start to feel things changing when labour is close!