Hey Tilda, I hoep you're feeling a bit better now...I have an early waker (6am every day, and she goes down at 8 and wakes at night most nights to be settled back down) and there is not much to do. I only get late mornings when she has been up for an hour or two at night, and that is worse. You have to try to to go down at the same time as her, even if it is 8pm....and try to have DH do other stuff like bathtime and story so you can rest for an hour before putting her down (this has helped me enormously during this pregnancy - I just lay on the sofa or prepare myself something to eat while he does the evening ritual. I am not bf so most night he also puts her to bed. It will help you balance out the feelings of resentment you are having. Thge bigger we get, the more help we need...I understand you. I have moments where I just get tired of picking up stuff or doing stuff - and when DH has to go out in the eve, even though it is rare and he really tries to stay put, I get a bit jealous at his freedom (I can go out when I want but am just tird and massive these days...lol)....

As for the daycare thing, I know how you feel. Eva was realllllly difficult to put into daycare and she started at 6 months, so I could not imagine doing it now. Eva spent her first week not eating ANYTHING - they told me they had never seen a baby not eat due to stress. She would go over 6 hours with no milk...it was so stressful...She cried with strangers and refused food. She would not nap well, only a bit after becoming exhausted - it gets better. Does this daycare offer a chance for you to sit in with her? I spent Eva's first week in there with her. You should do that, then the place would not be so strange, gradually leaving her for two hours then three, then fours then a day. Eva goes 5 days a week so maybe it will be a little different for you, but there has to be a way of transitioning smoothly. Ask the lady if she would be ok with you bringing her in the two days but staying along, letting the lady care for her as much as possible (play and feed other ids too, so Matilda can see that, since soon she will have that at home)...Each child expresses themselves in their own way. Don't let the lady make you feel bad. Imagine her not having seen you leave then spending a day with a starnger who does not know her habits and how to handle her like her mum does. In our daycare you are REQUIRED to spend one week with your child for five days straight starting from a whole day, then one hour less every day until Friday where you just stay for a bit in the morning to play and feed the baby then leave them for their nap and afternoon....they insist you be on call for that week so that they can better take care of the child. I am sure that if you propose being present during her regular days then the lady will not refuse - you are paying anyway, so you will just be helpful and be a helping hand in any case...I think it is wierd that the lady asked you to only bring her one day the next week...diminishing her days won't help her get used to it...try to call her and find a solution where you make the transition with Matilda. I hope hse can be flexible.

As for the sick thing, they are always sick in daycare and there is nothing to do about it. You have kids with parents who work and sometimes even if the child is a bit sick the parents can't take time off and birng in their child to infect the others...BUT a year later, she should be pretty resistant. Eva gets a lot less sick and a lot shorter nowadays...and to be honest now is prob a good time for her to be exposed to all of this, since you will be home with a baby and will be able to take care of her when she needs to stay home - can you imagine having to call out of a job every time she gets sick when she is older? ITis annoying and exhausting and DH and I have already considered pulling Eva out of daycare because of her being sick, but that is how it is...if this is something that really poses a problem then don't put her in, but remember that the beginning is the HARDEST PART! I went through a month of suffering when Eva started daycare. Just take it day by day...you will appreciate the rest and having some time to yourself. She just has to get used to it. But you should do what feels right to you...you know what is best for her.

I am thinking of you, and feel free to write me if you need to vent, I totally get it. Eva is very attached to us and still cries every morning when we leave her (for like 1 minute - she stops as soon as we are out of eyesight)...I still have guilt about leaving her but I feel like it has helped her become really social and well adjusted. She was so clingy with us that it is nice to have her learn to let other people hold her and take care of her and now I can leave her with MIL and not worry....before she would be hysterical without me around....now she is as attached to DH as to me....but when we leave her with other people, apart from the initial panic, she gets along very well. Just feel it out - if you feel like the lady at daycare does not like her or is complaining about her "difficult" personality, maybe somewhere else would be better....It is hard to choose a place to leave them and you want to just be sure that the carers are patient and kind to her.

I hope you manage to get some rest and am sending positive vibes your way...all this plus prego hormones...it isn't easy...it will get better.

xoxoxo