Babies born ~ May 1st-15th 2011 #1

[emc2]

thanks guys

yes it is sad they have no idea

I haven't had much to do with ex's Mum. Sadly she ended up feeding ex Enfamil, and there was something wrong with it and he stayed awake all the time as a baby.

They are alluding to that I was wanting to wake him up to feed him as they wanted to leave, but for some reason ex wanted to "hold and say goodbye to him properly".

But thanks for your posts of awesomeness, yes Jim was falling asleep, he was getting quite watery milk but it still made him sleepy. Ah maybe he was getting some good stuff?! Just a watery let down though.

Thanks guys you have made my day.

Ex has said to my father he does not want any email contact so I have included the following paragraph in a letter about current visitation.

"Just FYI the hormones in breastmilk, make babies sleepy. I just think you need to know this, if I give you a bottle of expressed milk to feed Jim again. They also cause the hormone rash on their face. However it has a lot of healing properties to the skin.

Paragraph about arrangements here

If you want to come three times a week, I will leave it with you to make another timeslot, but you must get back to me in writing with that.

As you have stated you wish to avoid any contact via email, I would prefer that you only phone me between 11am and 1pm each day. As comp feeding and cloth nappies keep me very busy as well as trying to catch up on sleep at times. Any ongoing arrangements will need to now be put in writing as you do not want any email contact."

[Jellybean29]

EM I would leave your phone off the hook/turned off at other times. I totally get the need of sleep thing xx

ETA: the hormone I was referring to is Melatonin if you wanted to google

[Porsche]

Hi Ladies

Emc - Does your ex take Jim by himself? If so make sure to get your plan done ASAP. If your Ex's parents get in his ear about taking Jim then there is nothing you can do. I don't mean to scare you at all but they seem like they are trying to find excuses IYKWIM. If you go through legal aid you can get all the legal advise you need and they will look after your consent forms etc.... You have to go through mediation to get your consent forms done it would only go further if you really can't agree to the terms of the agreement. Once your consent forms are done each of you sign it and it is sent through the courts to be legalised and then you both get a copy and the solicitor keeps the original for you. Also make sure you keep a diary of all comunication, conversations, visitation, phone calls, emails all of those with dates and times & what was said etc.... Try and also keep copies of all correspondence letters, emails, txt messages from him. I try and keep a diary for my ex because he is such a loser and he threatens me all the time. I think it's unreasonable for him to request you not contact him by email. I would much prefer to contact my ex like that. I don't particularly want to speak to him.

Hi everyone else. I can't go back to do more personals lol and I can't remember what you all said.

[FarmGirl]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry EMC to hear of your ongoing troubles, I hope you find an arrangement that has the best outcomes for Jim.

AFM: Well Amelia rolled over for the first time on Wednesday. She was so proud of herself. I've had a few interviews over the past couple of weeks, and she has been such a good girl to sleep through whilst I've been away. Even today whilst I was volunteering she sat quietly in her pram, snoozed a little, and chatted to my friends. Now she is out for the count and I think I'll be lucky to see her much before 6pm.

I tried the lactation cookies from this site, but I've not noticed any real increase in milk supply. Has anyone else given them a go?

I've noticed lots of you weigh your bubs frequently, just wondering why you do this? I've not weighed Amelia since her 10 day check up, but as she has regular wet/dirty nappies and is happy and content, I don't feel the need to weigh her.

[FarmGirl]

Oh... there was a great segment on Catalyst last night about the benefits of cosleeping and breastfeeding.

ABC iview

[Bern]

farmgirl - i think ive weighed Chloe twice since being home, no special reason other than tracking her growth, was going to get her weighed next week

[Jellybean29]

Jacob was weighed day 3, day 5, day 6, day 8, 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 9 weeks.......

Then compared against weight and height charts....

then put into a percentile (3rd-10th)...

then I get lectured...

grrr

[FarmGirl]

Thanks Bern and BBB. I know the doctors like to watch them follow a curve, but apart from needing to know their weight for calculating medicine or a car seat, I've never been one for weighing. I feel for you BBB - it must be adding unnecessary pressure to your parenting experience.

[Jellybean29]

Thanks Bern and BBB. I know the doctors like to watch them follow a curve, but apart from needing to know their weight for calculating medicine or a car seat, I've never been one for weighing. I feel for you BBB - it must be adding unnecessary pressure to your parenting experience.

Yes it was, added a lot of extra stress to the baby blues!!! Thank god for BellyBelly and real mothers who told me that weighing is bullsh*t and those charts are 11 years old based on one study of one town in America and some are formula fed some breastfeed...

Jake has gone from swimming in 0000 to fitting into 00, so i'm pretty sure he's growing fine

[Jellybean29]

Oh... there was a great segment on Catalyst last night about the benefits of cosleeping and breastfeeding.

ABC iview

Ok, this made me cry, literally... I'm sorry if I offend, actually no i'm not. How can it be ok to ignore every single maternal bone in your body and let your baby cry and cry till its exhausted, and think thats 'good' for it??!?!??!?!??!!?

OMG I could punch a hole in a wall right now

[Bern]

hi girls

Do you think its okay to use tampons now? Ive been using pads but was hoping its okay to go back to tampons now?

[emc2]

No good asking me Bern but I'd say it's ok.

Weighing, well somehow we got onto getting home visits from Child Health, so I can handle them coming to me and weighing him and the odd lecture. If I had to go out, I'm not sure if I would be bothering as much.

Well I sent an assertive "final" email, along the lines of blocking his email address, and so ex finally caved and became more amicable. I have now taken that opportunity to email him a long email, and put to him the idea of mediation later this year. We could continue with short term arrangements but it is best for all if we do the Parenting Plan, even though Jim's just a baby. Ex won't always be amicable - things go in a cycle with him. (Thanks Porsche I am printing off your comments most helpful).

Comp feeding - Child Health wrote a note to take to my GP. GP said she could write PBS or Private script. GP said she wasn't sure if I could afford private script and thought it would be too expensive for me but at the same time she didn't know the price. I said it has to be cheaper than buying formula lol (it does reduce the cost for me doing both).

Now on PBS you can only get 25 Motilium. ($5.60)
Private script you can get 100 Motilium. ($18)

Legally they can't write scripts for the same meds on the same day, the chemist said she'd have to destroy one of them. Anyway got the prices - and woohoo the private script works out cheaper than the PBS lololololol one dollar cheaper per pack of Motilium. And der you have to get at least 42 tablets to take them for lactation.

FG you can try Fenugreek, or get a script for Motilium or Maxalon if your GP will listen to you. Or google galactologues. And porridge. And no stress. At this stage we make milk as baby is feeding. (regurgitating advice given to me).

I am going to give the Infant feeding support program a go, just to see IF they do have any useful advice lol. I think we have tried everything though. With the comp feeds I am trying to get it down to have a feed at a certain time each day, but I doubt I would exclusively BF, I would have to somehow feed him and then be pumping for the nipple stimulation or putting him on me a lot.

I saw the rerun of Catalyst, we will be sleeping in the same room for a few years. Jim had trouble sleeping one night and I put him in his rocker on the floor next to me (obviously my room is warm) and he slept well.

[Porsche]

Hi Ladies

Farmgirl - No I haven't tried the BF cookies. I've been having 2x hospital formula of sustagen a day and I pump twice a day. I have just started to take a supplement called "Herbs of Gold breast feeding support". It has the fenugreek and blessed thistle in it and is exclusive for boosting your supply. Its $33 a bottle and you get 60 tablets and you take 2 a day. My LC said it will take about 5 days to kick in. I haven't needed the tablets so far but because L is having my EBM of an afternoon (about 200ml) before bed I'm getting a bit worried I'm not storing anything in the freezer (gosh I am so so paranoid). My LC is a big advocate of trying the natural stuff first before moving to other things. I've been having L weighed every 2 weeks not for any real reason but just because I'm qurious as to how much she's grown etc... We've moved on to 3 weeks now so I'm itching to know how much she's grown lol. Thanks for posting that link. I found it interesting. I only co sleep if L is hard to settle. I can't have bubs in the room with me as I wake to every little sound she makes. It was very interesting about the SIDS risk though and I do worry about that.

Babybellyburton - I must say I have been guilty of letting my first baby cry himself to sleep. Being a first time mum and only 22 at the time I had no support from my ex husband and I didn't know where to go for help. So I did what at the time I thought was best to help me cope. Being an experience mum now I have learned a lot and while L does cry It's not to the extent I was at with my first. I have learned alot. I think controled crying gets a bad wrap. I did controled crying with my first because I had reached the end of my rope but I wasn't tought to let him cry himself to sleep. I was tought to go in and comfort with out picking bubs up. I hope that makes sense.

EMC - I'm glad my comments have helped you. I know the arguments etc... I had with my ex. It makes it so much more stressfull than it should be. I'm flexable with my consent forms with ex husband and we often swap weekedens and things but if things get nasty again (we have a cycle too) I just say nope back to the agreement. Ex has been more accomodating in the last 6 months or so because he got a new girlfriend lol. Wonder how long it will last though. I must say I think your doing a fantastic job with Jim. What with the ex hassles and your feeding problems. No not problems more like issues. I would have given up by now and would be formula feeding full time. I wish I had all this support and advise when my first 2 were babies. Things may have been so much better.

Bern - RE Tampons. I think it's OK. I was waiting for my first AF and then use tampons after that. I think it's just a risk after you give birth because your cervix is open and the risk of infection.

[emc2]

Thanks Porsche. I think this forum, and my Belly Buddies and Baby Buddies have been the best support. There's so much more support for Mum's these days which is great but you can get swamped with information, and tired of talking which is about the only downside. My family are supportive but on an hour by hour, day by day basis, I'm dependent on Google pretty much lol, oh and eBay and online grocery shopping.

I can't always pick Jim up either, everytime he cries. Sometimes he cries out in his sleep though. They certainly have REM sleep which I can see why it is disturbing. I suppose by the time I get to sleep though I am so buggered I don't notice any noises from him, unless he cries.

Thanks again for the further advice from your experience Porsche. Just what I am after atm.

[Dragonbub]

BBB - you must have watched a different show, I swore I understood it to be controlled comforting, like you put bub to bed awake in cot an allow them to settle, but if they don't, you go in and comfort them. Controlled crying is somewhat different in that you basically allow baby to cry itself to sleep, and I am sure the doctor said that was really bad for babies (??). I did the former with Caden and after two days of grumpy baby, he learned to sleep on his own. I know even controlled comforting is contraversial as you are not meant to let them fall asleep in your arms, but it is far better than just letting them wail away for hours until they are exhausted. I did like the part where they said co-sleeping and baby wearing is good, as I do that almost exclusively .

EMC - I live in the cyber world most of the time too. Although I did just join another mothers group, as we have moved since R was born so it is hard to catch up with my old group, even though we still do meet from time to time. I love coming on here when I get the chance.

As for weighing, I don't do it very frequently. I did with Caden as it was nice to see him gaining weight, but with River I can tell anyway, and like most of you, he is almost in 00s (but I don't want to take the plunge as I want him to be little for just a little bit longer ).

Tampons - yes these are ok to use once the initial after-birth bleeding has stopped, providing you have no pain from birth or other issues associated with pg. If you are bfing, you might need some lubricant to put them in though (the bfing lowers your oestrogen and can make the environment a little drier). I noticed "down there" changed a bit after having Caden and they were a little trickier to insert (sorry TMI).

Sorry to those gals having issues with Ex's. I know how hard it is just being married, let alone dealing with the additional complication of visitation rights etc.

AFM - all good here. River, at a guess, is 6.3 kg. Sleep school was great, we did some of that "controlled comforting" as I mentioned, where the theory was if I am providing him 5 star service by rocking him in my arms, perhaps a 3 star service of having me rock him and comfort him in the cot would be ok. It has had an impact, as in he will quite happily fall asleep in the car or pram now yay. He got the flu again just last week so that sort of curbed my plans to get his day sleeps in the cot, but I am happy with our progress so far. I know he can do it, and I always give him a go in the cot as I know it is an important skill for them to learn, but he will gradually get better at it over time.

Well, better go do something while I have two harnds free

[Jellybean29]

Jacob rolled over today!!! from his belly to his back Now when ever I put him on his belly for tummy time he just rolls himself over and laughs at me !

[Porsche]

Jacob rolled over today!!! from his belly to his back Now when ever I put him on his belly for tummy time he just rolls himself over and laughs at me !

Yay to Jacob rolling over. L rolls over when ever we do tummy time too lol.

[Jellybean29]

Dragonbub the bit of the show that upset me the most were some of the mothers comments. One who said she just ignores her babies cries until she sounds really distressed and then goes puts a dummy in and walks out.. another said she put her baby in another room because it was 'too noisy'