Kymmy - I have no idea what to say and know that no words would never be enough - Just know we all absolutely adore you, are thinking of you and are ALWAYS here for you beautiful girl xoxox I am so sorry Kym xx
Hi Kymmy,
hugs to you today... Sorry I dont know what to say xxx
Ok so we went to sleep school today... Its called Tresillian sleep clinics and thy are free on medicare with a doctors or mchn referral. We just went for the day stay but I found it beneficial...well in theory anyway...
First up apparently V should be having 2-3 2hourish sleeps per day.. Atm she has 4 40 mins sleeps and is quite disjointed in her night time sleeping and is definately not predictable...She may wake none at all (rare) or up to 5 times a night... (not very common but we always lie somewhere in this range)
sssoooo....
I am going to try and recognise her tired signs better and at their onset wrap her and put her in bed awake...then Ill pat her until she is calm then leave the room. I can go back in as many times as she needs but I need to take notice of whether the cry is one that says "I need you" or not... Hmmmm. Also I need to see if V can settle herself off through the next 40 min period so into the next sleep cycle instead of me going in and picking her up...assuming the sleep was over... So I was jumping the gun in picking her up and not alowing her the chance to self settle.... Im actually doing this as I speak...she has been down for 1 sleep cycle but has woken and I am going in and offering comfort but not picking her up...I know she is tired today so really want her to sleep but not sure how Ill go. Im going to give her a dream feed later then hopefully she will sleep for the night.
So we are aiming for longer day sleeps due to resettling or selfsettling. We are also offering solids before bf to help V become less boob crazy. We do about 8 bf a day atm but trying to get it down to 5 or 6 which may also bring af back for ttc... (so I am trying to give V the best but get her more reliant on solids as her primary food so we can ttc again).
I hope this makes sense I feel like I have repeated myself alot.... Ill add to this later if I think of anything else.
Hi Natty - I'm glad you found the sleep school beneficial. Thanks for sharing the info, it's interesting to read how they do things at those places, that's pretty much how I went from cuddling/rocking Amelia to sleep to self settling, it took a week but I reckon you'll find it will click in quicker than you think. I was patting Amelia on the bum and doing the shhhh thing and going in a few times to re-settle but eventually you get to the point where you can just pop them down, say goodnight and they put themselves to sleep, it's so nice when it happens and you'll be so excited the first time she does it. And don't worry if it works some days and not others, if Amelia is not well or teething or going through a wonder week I find she wants to be cuddled again to sleep but she always goes back to her self settling routine when she's back to normal. I also play some soft music, mostly relaxation type music etc., have you tried that? Also, Amelia is now down to 2 naps a day of around 1.5-2 hours each (mostly 1.5 hours) but I'm finding since dropping that 3rd nap she's sleeping much better at night, pretty much from around 6.30 pm to around 7.00 am with one or two fussy spots in the night that I could leave but out of habit I get up and check on her, she's actually asleep though so I just pop in the dummy and leave her....I just need to teach myself to let her be lol - yesterday she only had 45 mins both naps but she still lasted until 6.30 pm so not sure what that was about. She usually starts making noises like she's going to wake up anywhere from 5.30 am on but I just leave her and she goes back to sleep - I've read it's common for them to wake around 5.00 am but it's important to let them go back to sleep otherwise they will be getting up too early and it affects their day sleeps etc. Sleep breeds sleep they say, I guess that makes sense! Oh well, I just go with the flow these days, anything can happen or change in an instant. Sorry, I've waffled on about nothing and you're probably reading this thinking why is she telling me this lol. So good luck, V is going to do great I just know it! xx
AFM - went to a place called Gingin today with mum and my sister, it's about 1 hour drive north from my place to visit an old family friend. She's actually my nana's best friend, she's 95 and still lives on her farm on her own, her son lives nearby but she's just amazing. She's about 4 foot tall now she's all hunched over but she has her complete wits about her, she's just amazing. Had a really interesting day as she showed us albums of my nana and her when they were really young - they've been friends for over 70 years, imagine that. Sadly nana couldn't be with us, she's 91 and in a dementure home and doesn't remember any of us so we don't take her anywhere anymore. But we had a lovely day and it was nice to introduce Amelia, I hadn't been to see her in over 10 years I realised! Anyway, glad I went, was nice to see her again. Also had a picnic lunch at the local park before going to see her, it was sunny and beautiful, a bit cool but divine in the sun. Very relaxing day indeed.
Well, best go, time for a cuppa I feel.
Hi to everyone, hope you all have lovely weekends and Kymmy I hope you're doing ok today sweets.
Love you all.
xx
Last edited by Alison1973; June 25th, 2010 at 09:39 PM.
Natty sounds like a plan, I'm gonna start trying S on solids now
Soooooo looking forward to eclipse coming out I might faint just saw there having the premiere in us and my heart started racing I'm going to the midnight session 1 July lol can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha mon. you can probably remember that i went to the midnight session of newmoon when i was 4 days overdue! I was soo worried i would go into labour the next day on no sleep.
totally worth it.
kymmy- i cant stop thinking of you xox i hope you are going ok. i wish i knew what to say or do to help but all i can do is listen to you and comfort you. I have no idea what you are going through and can only be a friend. take care missy x
just quickly while i have two children asleep at the same time.
im really starting to get tired. no, really. Harper just wont sleep much at the moment. barely a sleep cycle during the day and man, she was waking every hour the last two nights. I am so wrecked in the morning after feeding her all night i slept till 9:30 the last two days! terrible parenting here. Worst mother of the year goes to.....madame! Poor tully. i feel that all i do is say no or dont to him at the moment. I know it sounds bad, but i dont have time to go to sleep school. or anything like that. Have i really bitten off more than i can chew?
Any tips from the bf girls who may be in a similar boat? Dh is no help with her in the evenings, he is too tired and doesnt get the dont pick her up idea of self settling at the moment gggrrrrr
Feeding all through the night for nearly 2 years is just almost the end of me. How do you girls with 2 or more do it?
sorry, poor me post.
Hope all your bubbas are being kind to you
x madame x
I can't stop thinking about you either Kymmy
Hope Brian and Brit are helping around the house, xxoo
Madame - It must be the time of year, the weather perhaps? I got a text from my cousin last night, she was having a meltdown saying she can't do it anymore etc. Just know that we all have those days, those weeks... those months.. You are doing it tough, tully and harper are close together, and no mum can be 100% all the time. I have found since Theo has started solids, he isn't living on the boob anymore. He is probably having about 5 feeds a day (not including night feeds). How much solids is Harper having during the day? Maybe this might help her?? But with that said theo is still waking after 3/4 hours during the night, then he jumps in bed with us and slurps for the remainder of the night. I've tried putting him back in his bed after the feed, but he generally wakes every hour after that, and i end up a wreck by morning.
Have you thought about putting Tully into daycare once a week?? Just a suggestion. But maybe it could give you a slight break during the week? Or maybe grandparents could take him for a day a week??
What are the business hours for hennie and fox? Is it possible to hire staff??
ahh, i'm hopeless, sorry nothing too useful in this post. Just know that i'm here for you, and love you lots. If i lived in melbourne, i'd totally offer my babysitting services to give you a well earned break. xxoo
On my phone again, will do a proper post when I get the chance.
I am a bit up and down like a yoyo at the moment! Just have moments when i burst into tears. I was having a shower and put my hand on my tummy, I had forgotten for a second, then realized no one was in there anymore.. That was sad.
Had a lot of pain yesterday.. Seem to be better so far today.
Brian (haha) and brit have been AMAZING! Brit cleaned the entire house for me! Brian had to go to the funeral of a mate yesterday, poor man was torn, really felt he needed to go to the funeral but really felt he needed to stay with me, I insisted he went, but then i had a really bad arvo and wished he hadn't gone.
I am going to have some testing done.. This was my 4th miscarriage. Don't want to risk it again.
Madame, you are an amazing woman. Everyone has bad days when they feel they can't cope but you can and you do, 99% of the time. You are going to have those overwhelming days when u question your ability to cope but you've done amazingly well so far and I really do admire you. You're a beautiful lady, talented and clever xxxx
Love you all.. Have a great weekend xx
Hi Kymmy - have been thinking about you, I didn't realise you'd had other miscarriages, sorry to hear that. I hope you are feeling happy again soon, I can only imagine how it must feel to suddenly realise that little bean is no longer there. Hugs and kisses to my WA buddy. xx
Hi Madame - Kymmy's right, you are amazing. I'll be looking to you when I have my second if I'm lucky enough to have them close together as planned. I'm expecting it to be tough and was just this morning thinking that if my next one is at all a difficult bub I'm in for a very rude shock. I don't for a second take Amelia for granted, I know she's a good sleeper compared to a lot of other babies but I just know I'm going to have the opposite next time and won't know what hit me lol. We all have bad days, I struggle when Amelia decides not to sleep when she's ill or teething etc....I don't think it matters if you are used to it or not - if you're used to it you just get tireder and tireder, if you're not used to it you can't handle the lack of sleep purely because you usually get sleep. Can't win. You'll pass the hump, I think no matter how many kids or how good they sleep or not we'll all have those days. xx
AFM - Amelia has decided that 1.5 hour naps are for losers and is having 40/45 min naps the last few days, grrr. I have just managed to re-settle her so hopefully she'll stay asleep for a bit. I popped to the shop to get a paper this morning and came home and DH had got her up after 30 mins.......like you Madame he doesn't get the concept of trying to re-settle without picking her up, or at least if you pick her up keep the room dark, don't speak to her and then try. Undoes all my hard work! Anyway, you watch, her top teeth will start coming now and I'll have to go through all those lovely sleepless nights again......ho hum what can you do!
Off to a 21st party tonight for my friend's niece, it's a Grease themed party - can't really be bothered but I'm sure we'll have fun. It's just so easy to sloth at home these days isn't it. Such an effort to dress up ha ha. Hope you all have a lovely weekend despite all the yukkies going on.
I am having a bit of a down day so i am just about to make Chocolate Slice and Jam Drop Cookies to drown my sorrows in. Finally watched both Twilight movies last night. To be honest i was expecting more but i guess i have to read the books to really 'get' it. I also drowned my sorrows last night with beer and salami..... I missed beer so much! I had a good day yesterday just a crappy night, couldn't get to sleep til sometime after 3am. I guess that is why i am feeling a bit low today. I am trying to move forward but i think its too soon and would just like to stay in my grief for a while longer. I think the baby was a girl. I can't explain it but i have this very strong feeling it was. I had the same strong feeling that Archie was a boy. I have this gorgeous friend who is buying me a nice plant or tree for us to plant somewhere nice. I have some really great friends, they really shine in times like these.
Anyway, sorry for my ramble.. I was thinking of you all last night and how much i appreciate you all being here for me. Don't know what i'd do without you really..
Hey Kymmy
Thats fine honey, have your down days - grieve as much as you need. We are here for you, and it sounds like your IRL friends are incredibly supportive. You're such an amazing woman, so you'd be a magnet for beautiful friends When I had my mc I had similar feelings. The day it happened I huddled in the shower and cried and cried, and this little face just popped into my imagination. He was a boy, really olive skin, dark hair and eyes, extremely chubby - beautiful. To this day I still think my angel baby was a boy. Some times I even look at Theo and think, "gee you look nothing like your brother" Mothers intuition... Your beautiful baby is looking down on your family, watching over you all and taking care of you.
A tree sounds like a beautiful idea.
Love you lots and lots. Enjoy your beer and salami. Try having a night off by giving archie some EBM. Maybe go out with girlfriends? Or have a nice dinner with hubby?? Or simply go in for a pedicure and massage or something similar. In order to look after others you need to look after yourself first... xxoo
Hugs Kymmy - your little girl is a shining bright star now looking down on you always, have a look in the sky tonight, I bet there's a special twinkle in the sky just for you. xx Willow tree's are beautiful and you can sit under them for shade - would be perfect on your property. We love you lots remember. xx
Hope you're doing alright Kymmy. That's sweet of you friend to get you a plant to remember your bub.
DS1 is watching the Wiggles & Mr I didn't want to go to sleep so he's crawling about on the ground - hopefully he won't turn the computer off while I'm typing.
I did my 3 days work last week - 8.5hrs, 7hrs & 4.5hrs away from Mr I & I survived quite well. Not ready to do it every week though. I just expressed at lunchtime, except for the Sunday when I forgot to bring my pump so DH brought Mr I to work & I fed him. He didn't take all the EBM anyway, just attached himself to me as soon as I got home. My Dad & step-Mum came over to help look after the boys and help install the kitchen (talk about doing everything at once). DH says he doesn't envy me looking after the two boys on my own
So the kitchen is now 3/4 done. I have 2 pull out pantries (and way too many tins and containers of stuff to fit in them), 6 big drawers, 4 normal sized drawers, a carosel corner cupboard 2 overhead cupboards and a new cooktop & oven. What we don't have is handles - it makes it very difficult to get into all those drawers, upside is the kids can't get into them either. We've got to get a cabinetmaker to do under the bay window where the sink is & the diswasher will be and we have to get benchtops 'cause the ones that you can get with the Mitre 10 kitchens aren't long enough and they don't join nicely.
Last night Mr I had one of his 'I'm awake at midnight & you can't do anything to get me back to sleep' sessions & I just couldn't get up. Tried patting him & feeding him in bed & DH ended up getting up & watching TV while he played on the floor. Wonderful man.
I dicovered the joy of corn on the cob today. I cooked a cob & sliced off 2 thin slices for Mr I and gave to rest to Duke and it kept them busy for ages. Mr I managed to get all the kernals off his too.
Oh telly and ali- i just cried reading those beautiful words you wrote for kymmy.
Its exactly how i feel but i am not that good with words, thankyou. Kymmy you are beautiful and do attract exactly the same in friends as you are. I agree, we are so lucky to have each other. I love all you girls so much and its lovely to have this support.
I hope you are feeling ok, have as many tough days as you need. I can't even imagine what a loss is like and i feel so much for all you girls that have suffered losses.
Your daughter is watching you kymmy, alongside your other precious angels.
im so emotional today. man it sucks. Kymmy im so sad for you, im so tired, i had to work at the cafe today and i just cant seem to cope with it all. And the ILs came to watch the kids today and my FIL has just found out he has cancer and i just want to cry. he is such a tough dont worry bout me kinda guy and i cant bear the thought of my or my childrens life without him. He is so tough, fought in vietnam, was in Special operations in the policeforce as a hostage negotiator and now hes an amazing grandfather to soon to be 5 grandchildren under 2 and wears bow ties!
harper doesnt want to sleep, is feeding every hour overnight and when ive been away from her working at the new shop and today at the cafe, i cant even express enough milk. NO OFFENCE to anyone bottlefeeding, but ive had to give her formula coz i just cant pump enough. God, i feel like im failing her. Man i give so much credit to those who can feed a year and beyond. I only managed 8 months with tully before i couldnt produce enough and i wanted to go longer for harper.
god, sorry, its all about me huh. Im so sorry,
i hope you are all ok, kymmy, you are in my thoughts constantly
thank you for all being such great friends
ps thanks for the text ubb x
Ha Madame, now you know how I felt having to give BF'ing away at 4 months. But don't worry, formula is totally fine, it's just the stigma attached to it that everyone needs to get over. I'm long over it now and don't even think about it to be honest. Really sorry to hear about your FIL, he sounds so cute, I love the visions of his bowties, how cute is that. Hope he's ok, what sort of cancer and what's the prognosis on recovery looking like? They have some great treatments these days if caught early so don't give up hope yet.
Well I had a lovely day yesterday, my sister and BIL came back from a trip to Malaysia and boy did Amelia get spoilt, she got some cute clothes and shoes and apparently there's heaps more but she's saving them for her birthday and Christmas. Millie Moo is sleeping great at the moment, day sleeps have been a little shorter than usual on the odd occasion but she's sleeping great at night. I just know it's the calm before the storm, I reckon when these top teeth start coming through I'll have another bad week like the other. She still has a bit of a yukky nose but it doesn't seem to be affecting her sleep now thank goodness. As for talk of work, Snowy you're good for getting back into it, girls, I just don't want to go back to work, I'm dreading it - I loved my job, it pays great and it's a fantastic company to get into, very sought after as a secretary (I work for a company called Chevron which is an American Oil and Gas Company)......but my desire has left me. The thought of leaving Amelia makes me want to cry and I feel ill at the thought.......I don't think I can do it. I'm going in August to talk with my boss and see what we can arrange - I would love a day or two to work from home but I doubt as admin that will happen. DH says I don't have to go back if I don't want.....oddly I feel slack giving up work - I guess because I've done it for 20 years straight it feels weird. I just think I have a new role in life now and it's called being a mum.
Will try and cover everything but gosh I feel like its been ages since I had a spare 1/2 hour to relax and enjoy BB. I have been feeling a bit guilty for not posting especially as you seem to be haing rough times Kymmy and Madame.. xxx Kymmy I think it is reasonable that you would grieve forever and that the level of grief will in a way dull with time. Im so sorry you have to feel like this beautiful girl. Your friend sounds thoughtful and the kind of person you need atm xx
Madame, I know what you mean about the ff and bf. We know theres nothing wrong with formula but it does fel like an achievement exclusively bf, and the step to ff is a hard one, no matter what stage of feeding you are up to. I am dreading weaning V but have recently ought a tin of formula for emergencies as I suck at expressing too... Pity V turned her nose up at it and actully spat it out lol but we will continue to offer it to her as I worry she won't have enough expressed milk if I leave her. I know it must be so hard having no time for a sleep school etc IF that was what you wanted to do anyway as it kind of flies in the face of attachment parenting and is a bit strict,,HOWEVER...I have found it beneficial in its principals and am taking from it what I can to make V happier and get enough sleep. As I type she is in her bed "talking to herself" quietly...She is unwrapped as she is a houdini but that just means she can put her own dummy back in lol.. Im going to leave her in there for 1-2 hrs and go in as I need to if she screams but thre nurse said the "down time" in the cot is not as restful but is still important to her feeling refreshed after a rest. Give me a call if you like and we can talk about what the sleep school told me to do. I am always here for a chat even tho I dont know how you jugle 2 kids either but I know you are a fantastic mummy because I haver seen you in action Your kiddies love you and you love them and I know you are tired but you are doing a great job xx
Snowy, HI!!! Im going to try the corn on the cob thing at lunch today! It sounds awesome! And Im always up for fingerfood that dosnt stain... At the sleep school the nurse couldnt believe what V is eating...She had heared of BLS but not much else...Not that Im doiung BLS but I have been adventurous with Vs food. She usually has a rough mash now but has something in her hands too, sticks of veges or bread etc.
Alison, Lucky Amelia! It sounds like she is doing well again for you but has copied some of Vs crazy sleeping tips lol. I dread going back to work too but unfortunately we are not yet in a position to let me pack it in darnitt! I so wish we could but we really want to buy a house on our return to Brisvegas and Im sure we could only do it on 2 wages....ALTHOUGH... 2 lots of daycare is pretty exxy so well see ... (Im hoping to go back to work pregnant so at least Ill know when Im back home again lol)
Hi Telly, I lookeds back to see what you have been doing lately and I noticed how lovely and supportive your posts always are. I wish I lived near you, I can imagine the massive chats we could have while our kiddies play. You are a lovely person.
Mel, you are one of us no matter when you joined the thread... I would love to meet you just as much as the others xx
Mon, how is S going with her foods? What is she eating?
Ubba HI!!! Working on my next assault of Melbourne and you are on my list lol.
Hi to everyone else!!!!
As for us....Well I think I have covered the sleeping thing although I must say V is getting way more happy to chill in the cot. I used to go get her nif she made a peep but now have been leaving her or going in to pat her etc if she has not slept yet. The result is that she seems to see the cot as a friendlier place, not somewhere she is abandoned iykwim? She is now asleep with her arms unwrapped and her dummy in and I hope she sleeps for at least an hour because Id love to start seeing some results in her sleeps getting longer during the day. Last night she slept a total of 11 hours with one feed in the middle. Amazing and I couldnt believe it when I woke up on my own at 830, not by her or dh...AMAZING!!!!! I even got to make a coffee, go to the toilet and make her brekkie before she woke. I am offering her food before a bf to encourage her to want food primarily now. This is to help get AF back again but also so that boobie is extra, ot the main course so to speak lol. Im trying to express for daycare though but once I get a supply up ill cut back and hopefully start to O...
Sooo... V can pull herself up to stand now...We have found her standing in her cot so now its time to lower the base methinks... She tries to pull up and pinch our food at dinner as we eat in the lounge on those cube things at dinner so she can play near us...Well have to go back to the table soon as she tries to pull the tablecloth and gets her hands in our salad bowl etc...So cute! She is crawling like a commando still and has to have the right motivation too, none of this on demand trick showing because sometimes she just flat out refuses lol. She also looooves dh haha he even was able to put her to sleep the other day. He is getting a lot more confident and I think he likes the structure of this new sleep thing...Something he finally can be a part of. She actually cried when he left the room last night..and I was still there lol! It was so cute I felt really happy for him.
OK I have to upload some pics and want to go look at fb too so Im off for now. Ill keep you posted in our struggle for sleep perfection lol... If anyone wants more info just call me and I can explain to you what Im doing.
Hmmmm...Just received the news we are potentially moving to Brisbane next year..... Please nothing on FB as it is still a ? and dont want to excite anyone yet...
Sorry I dont know what to say xxx
When I had my mc I had similar feelings. The day it happened I huddled in the shower and cried and cried, and this little face just popped into my imagination. He was a boy, really olive skin, dark hair and eyes, extremely chubby - beautiful. To this day I still think my angel baby was a boy. Some times I even look at Theo and think, "gee you look nothing like your brother" 
xxoo
Im going to leave her in there for 1-2 hrs and go in as I need to if she screams but thre nurse said the "down time" in the cot is not as restful but is still important to her feeling refreshed after a rest. Give me a call if you like and we can talk about what the sleep school told me to do. I am always here for a chat even tho I dont know how you jugle 2 kids either but I know you are a fantastic mummy because I haver seen you in action 
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