Thanks Trill. I have just remembered the 30 June cut off thing, so he would end up doing Year 1 again. But even so, I also don't see the value of him going to school now for the last term and struggling socially when I could start him next year with kids he knows. I am converted, I just have to convince DH. I might have to use up my Finland points
I had my gyno appointment on Wednesday. I haven't said anything till now because it's been quite a lot to process. I went in there thinking that he would just offer to do the Burch sling op for the prolapse. He instead tells me I *need* a hysterectomy. This is apparently because I have an enlarged uterus with 'so many' fibroids on it that my ONLY option is hysterectomy because it is pushing down on the bladder and that's causing all my problems. And besides, I wasn't having any more children so didn't NEED MY UTERUS anymore!!!! I told him NO. He was not taking my uterus. I felt like asking him if he was having any more children and if not could I take away his testicles. I was so ****ing ANGRY that he told me I needed a hysterectomy. I was angry because I'd watched this video months ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q80tlNKg3p4 and all he could say was how wonderful it was that I wouldn't have any more periods, or even any more papsmears if I let him take my cervix as well. he didn't say a single other thing that would give me informed consent. I will never see that doctor ever again. he wants to take away my uterus because it is convenient to HIM, not because I actually need one. He told me to go away for 6 months to think it over and come back. He even encouraged me to do some research on it. I watched that video again which led me to this site http://www.hersfoundation.com/ and I'm so glad I watched that video so I had the courage to say no. I have downloaded her book onto my kindle and it's brilliant. Its very chilling, but worth the read. I'm so angry for all the women who have had it done to them without informed consent.
So anyway, sorry for the mammoth post, but that's where I'm at. My headspace is ****ed and I even had to ask for an extension on a Uni assignment due last friday because I couldnt' even think straight. I'm going to put in a formal complaint about him when I have my head together a bit more. I have an appointment with a female gyno in canberra in december. It wont change things - if she said the same thing I would tell her no too. I mainly want to know more about the fibroids and even if I may have estrogen problems, as that can cause fibroids to grow too.
Trill I was just thinking about you yesterday wondering if you'd been along to your appt yet. Massive hugs, what a shock that whole appt must have been. It sounds like he was very patronising, arrogant, and disrespectful. I can't believe he told you to go away and think about it for 6 months after you said NO! FFS!!! I think you're absolutely doing the right thing to get another opinion, and even another one after that if you still feel like your concerns have not been addressed. I don't think this first guy's opinion counts for much at all.
I haven't ever seen that video before, but have been aware of the issues surround hysterectomy for many years now, a friend of mine in Darwin worked in a path lab, checking all the 100% healthy, normal uteruses that had been removed from women. Christiane Northrup has been talking about the adverse side effects that can arise from it for years (she has some suggestions for treating fibroids, btw, you might find that useful to read). Having said all that, I would take the statistics from the Hers foundation with a grain of salt, because it's not a random sample nor is it a large sample and so cannot be taken as representative of the entire population of women having hysterectomies. But regardless of the %, the fact that some women do experience lasting problems is something that should be given much more thought when determining the necessity of surgery for each and every woman.
Even after my mast & recon, I have lingering problems, the skin is kinda too tight, my posture has changed, I have lymphodema on my arm now, etc... and yet that's considered to be a 100% successful surgical outcome. The rest of the stuff that I live with every day doesn't even get a mention in the drs heads. And that's not even an organ that sits right in the core of your entire torso & pelvis.
Anyway, I'm sorry that you've even had to be confronted by this . So not fair. xxx
Interestingly though about the statistics, the HERS foundation actually has a broader range of data than most medical journals on the issue. Most of the data used by doctors over there comes from a selection of 20-30 women. I think considering that they counsel well over half a million women each year, the 1000 women they have data from is still significant. The medical establishment just doesn't care. Like you say MD, you had a successful surgical outcome and that's all they care about. Either way, if this Doctor ends up saying the same thing then I'm done with Doctors. I would rather cut my own throat than have it done. But I chose this doctor because she has a special interest in urogynaecology so maybe she might be more helpful and focus on the problem I have, which is the stress continence and not the problem I don't have, which are the fibroids. Since I've been paying attention to things I actually don't think it's that bad - I can hold on if I need to without leaking and I can go for hours without needing to go.
holy crap Trill what a horrid, horrid person! I am so so sorry that you had to go through that i cannot believe that he wanted to take it because 'you dont need it anymore'!! as if it were there solely for the purpose of holding children!! the cervix comment was just way too out of line.
Thankfully you are able to get a second and hopefully more realistic opinion in Canberra. Big phat hugs xx I would be reeling too: that must of been very confronting.
Confronting alright! I was a mess. What ****es me of the most though, is that he did not a single measurement of the fibroids. he said they were there, but he never did a detailed scan to find out how many there were, how big they were or even where they were located. there are so many things wrong with the way he treated me I don't even know where to start. Imagine how many other women would go there to see him who would just take his word as gospel and line up for the surgery? Every suggestion I offered he shut down and his only option was surgery. He even dismissed me seeing a physio as it would be pointless while I still had this gigantic uterus.
I thought that too Cass, especially when he asked me were we having more kids. Next Dr I'm not telling her about DH's vasectomy.
I love the new boots too. I was in temora on Friday and tried them on in the shoe shop there as he had 40% off, but he only had a 9 which was too big. When I was in town today I saw them in the shoe shop window and thought I'd see if she had them in an 8 and sure enough she did so I got them. She had 30% off which still made them $129, but cheaper than the $179 that they originally were. I have been after a pair of low-heeled boots for ages and couldn't find any - they all seem to have heels on them and I can't wear heels for too long. These ones are perfect. I just had to remember to hide the rather large box from DH before he got home
Tell me about the heels on boots!!! I had such a hard time trying to replace my old fave pair! I mean, i finally did, but it took effort, and i am not used to that lol.
Trill, I hope it goes much better with the next doctor. Can they remove the fibroids? A bit of scar tissue in your uterus would surely be a better option?
That's his word for it. What would I know? I can only assume he's telling me the truth. When I had a pap smear a few weeks ago my GP felt my uterus and said it was fine, so one of them is telling me bull**** and my money is on the gyno - he's the one that will benefit from an expensive surgery. It's not like I have anything to compare it to, so I guess it would be easy for women to believe that they are being told the truth.
Trill, I really hope you find the next doctor more helpful. Hopefully the uro-part of the specialty will mean she has more empathy for your situation and will at least present you with some options. Were you expecting to be talking about having some kind of surgical support/mesh put in? I can't see how the presence of fibroids (or not) would change that? And I can't understand why physio wasn't an option, isn't the rule of medical intervention that you start with the least invasive option first?
I'm jealous of your boots Trill. I don't own boots. At all.
So, Arte, does this mean you've decided to start W in grade 1 next year instead of in term 4? That does make a lot of sense tbh. I wouldn't imagine that skipping him ahead would be good for him with the other stuff going on. BTW, been meaning to ask, did you get in to see the surgeon yet? How are you going with DH away?
Well I'm taking the day off work tomorrow to wait for the exterminator because I heard the scritchy scratch of little feet inside the ceiling again. blergh!
MD, do you think possums or rats in the roof? We used to get rats in the roof all the time and we were forever putting baits up there, but since we've had the cats hanging around we haven't had any in ages. We haven't even had mice inside this winter. So while DH hates the idea of me feeding the cats and keeping them around, they are actually earning their keep. I only had one pair of boots that I brought for SIL's wedding a few years back, but they have a 2 inch heel on them so I think I've worn them about 5 times since I got them because they just aren't for everyday wear. So i've been hunting for boots like that for ages and to make it harder I have larger calves so that makes it nigh on impossible to find nice boots that dont cost a bomb. But these ones have elastic all the way around the back for the entire length of them so they are perfect for those of us with bigger legs.
Yeah, the mesh burch sling surgery was all I was expecting to be getting too and even my GP said that's all he would do. And he was going to do that surgery as well when he did the hysterectomy. I asked why couldn't it be done on it's own and he said it wouldn't work as well or for as long while ever I still had my uterus in there too. But I couldn't trust him to just do one surgery and not conveniently do the other as well and give me some bull**** story about why it had to be done. Even just losing the 20kg extra I'm carrying would make a huge difference. So that's a plan that's underway as well. I have also looked into seeing a continence nurse as well if this next doctor doesn't pan out.
Trill, I was wondering where the mesh worked in - surely heavy or not the uterus can't be held up if the vaginal wall is not supporting anything. Now that you mention the weight loss, I am now wondering if that is why I haven't had much trouble lately.
MD, got a letter for a 5-6 month wait for surgeon consult for boob, and one saying that there are no ultrasound appointments in the forseeable future for the gall stones. I guess I need to be having acute attacks more often for them to bother. I have cut back on the fat a fair bit and it is tolerable.
Still deciding about school. We did a school visit in the new class and he loves it. I (and the psychotherapist) think that the licking will subside after he starts, so I sort of want to get it over and done with provided he isn't too upset.
Going alright with DH away. Actually, it is less stressful and the kids are better behaved (probably because I am more relaxed).
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Massive hugs, what a shock that whole appt must have been. It sounds like he was very patronising, arrogant, and disrespectful. I can't believe he told you to go away and think about it for 6 months after you said NO! FFS!!! I think you're absolutely doing the right thing to get another opinion, and even another one after that if you still feel like your concerns have not been addressed. I don't think this first guy's opinion counts for much at all.
what a horrid, horrid person! I am so so sorry that you had to go through that
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