Babies born~ February 16th-28th 2009 #15

[OceanPrincess]

Hey gang,

Pretty quiet in here atm. Guess we are all busy with life and our LOs!

I'm glad there are some others who aren't having much success with TT. Glad in the sense that its not just me - you guys KWIM right??

We thought we were getting somewhere a few months ago, we were using rewards, a sticker chart, had her in undies basically whenever we were at home, she would use the potty or the loo, but she'd basically have accidents every day and wait til she had a nappy on to poo. And I just cracked it - I'd started back at work and did not have time to be cleaning the carpet and doing extra washing because she was clearly not ready to be in undies.

Its like she just doesn't care, yanno? My niece (8mths older) reached a point at around 2.5 where she said "No nappy mum" and that was it, she had like two accidents once she reached that mental decision. DD just doesn't seem to care and is quite happy to be in nappies. So in nappies she is. I can't deal with it, with everything else going on. I just keep talking about it and sometims when she has her nappy off she will say "ooo mummy, wees coming!" and run to the loo and put herself on and away she goes, but most of the time I just leave her in a nappy.

I'm just going to wait it out... but at the same time I keep saying things like "It'd be much easier if you did poos in the toilet, don't you think?". The kicker for us is that we have her enrolled in kinder next year - she can't go if she's in nappies. The other day we drove past one of the local kinders and she said "Mummy is that a schoooool?" and I said "No, its like a school, its called a kinder" and she said "Kiin-dah" Anyway so then I told her that she might be going to kinder next year and that'd be exciting, right? But she can't wear nappies at kinder.

So I'll just let that germinate for a while and see what happens. She's such a strong-willed child, I'm just not going to win if I force her into it when she's not 100% ready, she'll just do what she wants anyway and I'll end up being frustrated for it. So we'll see.

I was thinking about the big bed thing last night - DS is coming up to 14mths and still in his cot. We haven't even contemplated a big bed yet. He's too little - even if he weighs more than my friend's DS who is older than my DD!

Malyna: how's the anxiety going? Have you seen anyone about it, or are you going ok? Any news on getting DS into childcare?

Shell/Nai: DD has a thing about sparkly shoes too! I bought some from COK and she scuffed them up in about half an hour and that's it, sparkly no longer! Ah well.

We seem to be over the worst of the tantrums I think... thank God! DS has worse ones these days!! DD seems to just ignore us and the new thing for her is "NO" and "You can't say that to me!"

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with that one actually.

"DD, come here so you can get dressed and we can go to XYZ."
"NO!"
(Repeat above a few times...)
"Come on, last chance or you go to the naughty corner"
"You can't say that to me!"

Don't really know how to handle it! I've been saying that I can say that because I am her mother and she needs to listen to me, then she usually ends up in the naughty corner where she either yells "Mummeeeeee" or just sits there quietly. Weird. Suggestions welcome!!!!

[Heaven]

Haven't posted in here for ages!
All going well here!

Toilet training is going well. A couple of months ago we went through the same thing OP. She just suddenly decided not to use the toilet and would just wee everywhere. Eventually I got fed up and put ehr back in nappies too. A couple of weeks later I decided to try again and she's been good every since. We never use nappies at home now except for naps and she very rarely has an accident. I still put a nappy on her when we go out though. Not sure what to do about that. It's just me being lazy. Such a hassle trying to find a loo for her with DD2 aswell and public toilets gross me out, lol. So I put a nappy on her. If we're out at the shops or something most of the time she won't ask to go to the toilet, she'll just wee in her nappy without telling me, doesn't want to miss out on anything. But if we go to someone's house then she will tell me and take her nappy off to go. Maybe she thinks there is no toilets in shops, lol.

We don't really have tantrums here either. She's never been a big tantrum thrower. It's just the not listening and ignoring we have to deal with. Frustrating! Sometimes I think she actually doesn't hear me, even though I can be standing right next to her, because she is just too absorbed in what she's doing. Other times she just totally ignores me and does what she wants, lol. Especially if I'm feeding DD2 and she knows I can't get up I have no solutions either OP! I end up just saying 'either do it by yourself or I will have to come and get you and make you do it' which doesn't sound very nice really but I have run out of ideas!

Everything is pretty good with us though. Getting to that really enjoyable stage with DD2 and the girls are really interacting a lot which is so beautiful to watch

Hope everyone else is well

[~Kaz~]

Malyna - massive on the anxiety hun. I hope that you have some support because willpower will only get you so far. How is your friend going? I hope the new heart is doing well. Such a contradictory feeling.

OP - no real suggestions hun. It sounds like she has just learned that particular line is stumping you so she's using it to maximum effect! Id' say she doesn't like the naughty corner and that's what she's reacting to ITMS? If it were DS, I would probably get into a discussion about why he didn't like me saying that while continuing to repeat the original message/request. Probably too early developmentally as he is not really answering many 'why' questions and everytime I ask one I do think I'm setting myself up by modelling the 'why?' which will come back to bite me soon DS has not been a massive tanty thrower so far but he does say "no way!" very emphatically at times or he does the ignoring routine. I think it's always much easier to deal with this stuff with only children, as opposed to when you have more than one.

Heaven - Was thinking of you the other day!

AFU - DP had a review late last week and his blood counts are all normal Some are quite low but within normal limits so it's great news. Looks like he'll just need to get all the scans done in the next couple of weeks (MRI, PET, CT) so they have a baseline and then they'll leave him be. Doesn't seem to be 3 monthly monitoring planned like we expected. Apparently it doesn't actually add much in terms of picking up relapse and continuing to have scans is a risk factor for other cancers down the track so now they just wait and see if symptoms re-occur. It's good news in terms of not having to get scanned every three months (as they told us at Christmas would happen) but also a bit anxiety provoking because we won't have the evidence that there is nothing there.

DS is doing well although he is sick with a viral cough thing atm. WRT toilet training he continues to do his usual and gets into it for a few days at a time and then backs off again etc. He is asking to sit on the toilet again atm but not doing much. The other night, while I was away, he got into the shower (not usual) and then did a poo in there LOL! So glad it wasn't me cleaning that one up! I am waiting until the weather warms up to put much time/effort into it as it's too cold to do too much extra washing and I console myself that at least I'm getting my money's worth out of his nappies since there might not be any more kids to use them.

[Malyna]

My friend's husband was to be released today - 9 days after getting a new heart. But he will have to stay in Sydney for 3 months for a series of biopsies and tests to make sure everything is going as it should be. The anti-rejection drugs that DH is on for his kidney actually damage the kidney - so they have to balance out the toxicity levels, with the rejection levels, so I guess he'll be going through that.

KAZ Great news. Interesting that they aren't going to test him every three months - have you asked them why not? I would have thought they would have done that at least for the first year.

Wow, you girls are moving forward with the toilet training. DS isn't anywhere near showing any interest. Although he says "No Poo" when he's done a poo or when he hasn't done a poo. I'm going to leave it until summer and then start. At the moment, he's completely oblivious to the whole toilet thing.

He does ask "why" a lot. Usually when we are in the car. He says "stop" at red lights, then asks why, and I give him a detailed explanation of how I have to stop for the traffic in front of me, and then go into road rules, and how it would be chaos on the roads if there was no rules.

Some days my anxiety is better than others. But then I have days where I know I just can't push myself any further so I just stay at home and potter about the house (or at least go to the gym in the morning). I don't have a lot of support so I just do the best I can do with what I have.

Had a terrible stomach bug Sunday. DH was out learning to fly an hour away, and it hit while he was out. I was doubled over on the floor, in so much pain i couldn't move. Managed to crawl to the bathroom where I set up a camp - DS got me a pillow and my mobile and was quite the little nursemaid and managed to stay away from me, only coming up to me every now and then to make sure I was okay.

[Heaven]

Oh I missed that Malyna about the anxiety Have you thought about counselling?

Kaz such great news about DP!! How are you feeling?

[OceanPrincess]

Ahhhh so nice to read that I'm not alone in these battles!!!

Kaz - woohoooo!!! That is great news. You must be just overwhelmed - no more hospitals, no more sickness, no more tests. That is great. What does that all mean for TTC another baby in the future?

Malyna - that sounds terrible with your tummy bug. What a good little DS you had keeping out of your way. DD would have been in there with me wanting to know what's going on! Hope you are all recovered today. Sounds like you are dealing with your anxiety in your own way... Hope it helps getting on here and chatting to us a bit.

Heaven - they are gorgeous when they interact, aren't they? DD has reverted to being a bit physical with DS though, as his physical skills increase and he invades her space and things a bit more, she's back to pushing him out of the way and snatching things. So we're back to "Gentle!" and "hands to yourself!" after we had retired those phrases

Kaz, thanks for the tactic on asking why she doesn't like it. That's a good one, I'm going to give it a go.

[Nai]

OP - we have exact;y the same battles "No Mummy, don't talk to me like that, don't say that to me" etc. But we also get "Mummy, don't yell at Vievey" when we get mad at DD1 It is quite cute - they will be fighting and then I get cross and they stick up for each other DD1 was crying at the dinner table the other night and Miss J was sitting next to her patting her hand saying "Don't cry, Vievey, I hold your hand ok?"

Miss J is so stubborn that I think TT will be just when she is ready - which is clearly not now! On Friday we had a massive fail as DD1 had left her Cadel Evans mask on the floor and Miss J wee'd all over it. DD1 had a meltdown, which didn't get any better when DP suggested it was ok because Cadel wore yellow

Malyna - it is so hard having them with you all day, I hope you can get some time out and get DS into daycare for you to get some rest! Good news on your friend too!

Kaz - that is awesome news about your DP. I'm so happy to hear that things are looking better. You have been through such a tough time.

Hi to everyone else!! I've been a bad buddy

[Heaven]

OP - we have exact;y the same battles "No Mummy, don't talk to me like that, don't say that to me" etc. But we also get "Mummy, don't yell at Vievey" when we get mad at DD1 It is quite cute - they will be fighting and then I get cross and they stick up for each other DD1 was crying at the dinner table the other night and Miss J was sitting next to her patting her hand saying "Don't cry, Vievey, I hold your hand ok?"

Oh that is so freakin cute!! hehe.
DD does similar. If I tell DH not to do something, or even the dog DD will get this big frown on her face and say 'No Mummy! He wants to! So just leave him!' and I can't help but laugh. She is a little bossy boots.

DD1 had a meltdown, which didn't get any better when DP suggested it was ok because Cadel wore yellow

bahahahahahahaha

[~Kaz~]

More Malyna. Getting really sick and being alone with DS is a big fear of mine. Sounds like your DS handled it well though. So sweet that he was helping you. WRT the anxiety, I am getting the impression that you would be considering medication if not for b'feeding? It's so tough to try and balance out our needs against those of our kids and try to keep everyone happy. Don't put yourself last for too much longer hun

About the scans, the doctor just said that the most recent research was indicating that regular scans don't actually add any benefits in terms of picking up relapses any earlier than simply waiting for symptoms to re-appear. Plus they carry the increased risk of causing cancer down the track. It must be fairly new research because at Christmas they were saying 3 monthly monitoring for 2 years and then getting less regular for the following 3 after that (total of 5 year monitoring). Not sure if it's just for this type of Lymphoma or for other cancers as well. Once he's had the scans he'll have a phone review to get the results so he'll be able to ask questions etc. It came as a bit of a shock on the day that regular scans won't be happening so we didn't even find out what symptoms he needs to look out for!

Heaven - Feels weird to be at the end of the road. We've been here before when we thought he was in remission at Christmas so part of me doesn't quite believe it. DP is pretty convinced he will get some type of cancer (either this one back or another similar type) in the next 10 years That's because all of his treatment, especially the high dose chemo he had in June is all massive risk for further cancer. So it's weird. Good but weird. Hard to describe.

OP - We've been given a 10-20% chance of having more kids. DP is still bald atm and it will take 6-12 months for his swimmers to return, if at all. We just have to wait and see. And LOL at you taking on my idea!! That is my standard strategy at work if the clients put me on the spot about something I ask why it concerns them or somehow put the focus back on their reaction because it tells me more about where they're coming from and buys me some time to decide how to deal with it Hope it works!

[OceanPrincess]

Bahahahahaha Nai that is too funny

Heaven - we get similar things when DH and I are having a discussion or something... often DD will pipe in with "Daddy, why do you make things so hard?"

Cheeky monkies they are!!!

So Nai how do you deal with it?? With the "Don't say that to me!"

ETA: Snap Kaz!! 10-20% isn't great but hey its better than a big fat zero. Will be interesting to see how the next few months go!

And I will try your technique! Especially if it is tried and true!!!!

[~Kaz~]

LOL Nai at your DP - too funny.

And OP, hope you don't think I was making any comparison between your DD and my clientele!!! Not the case at all, although in terms of the negotiating that goes on in this house some days I have been known to remark to DP that I'd rather deal with a client than DS because they're easier and don't get me so cranky

[Nai]

Kaz - not sure if your DP would be into this at all but my step-father had pretty advanced lymphoma and has been in remission for the last 12 years. He has followed a very strict biodynamic, organic, non-dairy, vegetarian diet since his treatment. He has a lot of raw vegetable juices etc to start the day. He claims that this helped counter the effects of all the treatment and it is why he is still so well (but it could also be a lot of the positive thought as wel)l. So if your DP was interested there are a lot of the natural therapy paths he could look at to give himself a more positive outlook And agree - 10-20% is better than 0%

Heaven - they are pretty cute when they aren't fighting!!

OP - I generally get her to say sorry or she goes in the corner when she talks back. Not sure that that is best approach but it tends to go "No, you don't talk to Mummy like that" she either says sorry which is ok or talks back and gets put in the corner.

[diva det]

ok really bad buddy sticking her neck in

hugs to all-esp malyna and kaz

hey kaz dont worry about those stats- Mr boof here was a one in a million shot and hey got through!!! He was 10 years, 7 IVF treatments and in the end he snuck in just as we were ready to start cycle number 8. So he popped in when he was good and ready- so it only takes one lol - ooh and day s*x!!! LOL

malyna- i hope that things start to settle for you- i am not an anxious person so i dont have anything costructive to suggest. All i know is that my mum who is an anxious person swears by rescue rememdy- when she was going through her separation she used to down bottles of the stuff- i also use it for my kids when they are nervous about any situations.
Heaven- have fun playing with your new camera you are getting today- cant wait to see the photos you take- they are always soo awesome
OP- I have to get to your place- Mr X pressie still sitting here@!!! GRR
just gotta wait till things settle here again
Nai- gotta love siblings sticking together- it only gets better as they get older!! but the closer they are the more they clash as well lol
Lilma- you sound like you had fun at the snow- we tried for the day at Mt Donna buang this year- got there and started walking and Mr boof started crying as it was too hot for him ??? So i ended up spending the next couple of hours watching dvd's with boof in the car whilst the twins played in the snow with their dad! ah well another year when he is a bit older and will get the proper snow stuff for him to wear instead of just heaps of layers so he couldnt move like we did

AFU- twins been home from school for over a week and i have been homeschooling them- i am at my tether- they need to go back to school!!!!!!!!!! They were fine all last week home but today we have all reached our limit.
Kept them home as their was so much illness at school that was really nasty and i was scared of them, esp DS1 getting it. He has Chronic Lung Disease so a simple chest infection is a sure fire way to get him a couple of days in hossy and weeks to recover. It was better for him to stay home well than risk him getting it at school and then been home for weeks.
Just getting ready to put a new kitchen in the house and some linen cupboards. We have ordered it, got the appliances in our lounge room ready to go, now just gotta wait for the kitchen company to make the cupboards up! Hopefully be starting in the next month so that will be good.
TT- well boof is ready but i am not- going to wait till its warmer as well. I put him on the loo when he askes but its pretty hit and miss. He is also still in his cot- lol - by this age twins were in beds for 6 months and TT as well but hey 3rd child or turd child as i call him sometimes lol- no rush- it will happen

Doh kids have found me grrr- was hiding in the lounge room but they have found my hiding spot- grrr
time to go
mwah mwah mwah

[Olive]

why hellllllllooooo!!

i need to go back and read the previous posts.......

We're back on the ear infection route again Millie has a very badly infected ear, Dr said its a mess, now with all the infections she's had, ive never been told that
Both grommets have dislodged but but not yet fallen out but they arnt working any more. back for a review in 2 weeks and we might need to have them redone, which im so totally fine with, was just hoping that we wouldnt need them again. She was awake for 2.5 hours teh other night, obviously in pain, i feel so bad.

On the upside shes gone up a class in swimming (ours stay with parents still around 2.5-3 then go into transition with parents then go on to being by them selves) so we start that tomorrow, dr said its fine as she has her plugs and headband.
Nai and i now work for the same company too

too much to read...but

Kaz!!!! awesome news!!

ETA no TT here...just not ready or interested...DD1 was day/night wee/poo trained my 2.5 on a brighter note though she knows left and right lol

[~Kaz~]

Hello!!

olive that totally sucks about DD2's ears. I feel for you both - to have her in pain and not be able to do much would be the absolute worst! I hope you can get the grommets sorted ASAP.

on the TT thing, DS continues to be random - sometimes he'll ask and do a wee, other times nothing happens and he just has fun jumping on and off. Last night he did a poo before the bath which was awesome cause we have a history of having to deal with bath-poo a fair bit in this house The last time he did that in the bath he got a bit upset so I'm hoping those days are all gone now. I have a friend who's son keeps doing poos in his undies. He was using the toilet consistently (day) for months but seems to have gone backwards and once he's done it, he tries to clean it up himself *shudder* the horror stories she tells have me so scared that I think I'm going to wait until either DS is going consistently himself or insists he wants undies. We catch up once a week and over the last 6-8 weeks, he's poo'd his pants 3 times so it's happening pretty frequently cause she's telling other stories every week too. I feel so sorry for her

Currently having a dilemma about a Maccas party - I posted another thread if you have any thoughts although I'm quite sure I've thought about it too much already! lol

[Olive]

kaz have you decided what to do yet?

DD2 started transition today at swimming and omg shes so good! doing stuff some of the kids i teach cant do lol! she'll be in a class without me very soon!

[lilima]

What is Transitional swimming? E swims by herself this term. She loves swimming!!

I am also thinking of putting her into gym next year. J does it this year, and she loves it! She can do more that heaps of the kids in J's class, but she just doesn't have the attention to do it on her own as yet.

E has been fully toilet trained for a couple of months now, nearly night trained too! Just have to wait to get my connii bed pads back from a friend, then I will ditch the night nappy.

Kaz - I didn't read your thread about macca's, but whenever Macca's is involved there is sure to by controversy!

I can't really remember what everyone else has said, so I will apologise that I haven't commented on anyone else's posts.

Olive- Does Millie do the reading egg program with S? E has been watching J do it, and has started to pick up some early reading skills. I love the reading egg program. J is doing OK. He is in level 6 at the moment. I sometimes have to hel him with a few things.

Ok that's enough for now. E has been waking heaps in the night at the moment. Seems like she is having nightmares.

[Olive]

transition is still with me in the pool but doing it mainly by herself, shes doing better than some kids almost double her age, she'll be in by herself very soon (at our centre they usually go without parents around 2.5-3 yrs)
DD1 does reading eggs when DD2 is in bed so she hasnt seen it, shes not ready anyway!! DD1 also loves it, shes also on level 6, on 58 so only two to go then onto level 7, she only does it for 30 mins at night