Babies born~December 1st-15th 2009 #3

[BrusselsSprout]

Hey Kanda, she does not need many solids until 8 months or so - now is just to get them used to flavors - Eva only eats once a day in daycare and twice a day on WE (a veggie and a fruit generally) - there is no "rule" - They don't take much in with solids - it is just to get them used to a diff way of eating and diff flavors...I hope the let lag works out soon!

I can't stay on much - have emails to write and work to do, but I'll try to get back on later!

xoxo

[Tuesday's Child]

Tilda, BS, Alison, kanda - Thankyou so much for...well...everything.

BS - It's strange that you refer to Amelia as difficult. MIL says the same thing. I don't think of her as difficult at all. I just have a lot of days where I don't feel I can give her what she needs.

Alison - I've gathered together some articles but am still sorting through all the info. I'll email them to you at some point if you want (how are you and DH at reading scientific journals?). I'll sum up what I've put together so far. First there is a plausible mechanism for chlorine exposue to predispose children to asthma. But, the studies showing the link are far from conclusive but it is recognised that further study is needed. It's not possible to determine the direction of causation, ie. That babies with family history or other risk factors for asthma are more likely to be early swimmers. Does that make sense? So in the absence of anything concrete it's up to you and DH whether you continue to take Amelia swimming. I hope that helps.

kanda - I'm so glad you enjoyed your trip. You all looked like you were having a fantastic time. Don't worry about how many meals Sienna is getting. At this age, it's about taste and textures and learning to chew and swallow etc. If you're still BFing and are happy to continue, she won't need the nutrition from solids until around 8-9 months or so. Also, give yourselves time to settle in and get over the jet lag. I'm sure the girls will settle down again in a couple of weeks. And happy belated 1/2 birthday to Sienna

AFM - I've noticed Amelia using a couple of new skills in the last day or two. Thursday morning I had her on her mat for nappy-free tummy time. I had her clean clothes and amber necklace on the floor next to her ready for when she'd had enough. She wriggled around to get her amber necklace. She grabbed, put it down, grabbed her wondersuit which then covered the necklace. She lifted her suit to get her necklace again. Next she deliberately put her nappy on top of the necklace before lifting it off again. It was amazing to watch her discover this. Also, she's really, really trying to crawl. She still goes mostly backwards, but has managed to inch forward slightly a few times now. I hoping that this is now the end of the WW and that her sleeping will settle back down.

Has anyone else noticed their bubs getting upset when they leave the room? I leave slowly and tell Amelia where I am going. She'll still get upset when I leave her sight, so I keep talking to her while I'm in the next room and she seems to be okay with that. I can usually sneak out if she's not watching me. It seems to be the actual leaving that upsets her, not my absence.

ETA - In addition to my comments to kanda, I should also say that formula will meet bubs' nutritional needs for a few months yet as well.

[Tilda]

Hi Hannah, hope you're feeling a bit better. It's exhausting trying to keep these babies entertained and happy. And it doesn't help if you're not getting much sleep. I'm sure once you start work she'll settle into the new routine pretty quickly. It's amazing how adaptable they can be. So don't panic! It will work out!

Hi Kanda - the jetlag sounds terrible but I'm sure it was worth it. Italy is so damned gorgeous. And don't worry about the solids. They're only just 6 months and it takes awhile to build up the volumes anyway. At the moment its more about exploring taste and texture I think. I've been finding it difficult to get some momentum with it too. Exclusive breastfeeding is so much easier!

Hi Alison - sounds like Amelia is working towards dropping that 3rd nap. Its getting easier now they're lasting longer. So much easier to plan. From what Hannah found out it doesn't sound like there's anything to panic about in terms of the swimming. It's probably going to come down to whether you can get DH across the line. But I think building a pool is a great bargain to drive

Hi Suz - don't you hate that!!

AFM - well I've got to go. Will try and get on again later. Ahhhhh....

[LMS]

Hey Tilda... Italy WAS amazing and it is now all settling back to normal (i think) although we did buy a pack of ciggies while walking around Rome and I sneakly bought another pack a few nights ago and have been smoking 1 a night... I know Its bad... and I gave up such a long time ago..but DH goes to bed sooooo early and I get soooooo bored.. maybe just this pack...please!

Alison... I think Sienna is heading towards the 2 naps a day too... although its hard to tell with all this jetlag and stuff, but she seams to be sleeping longer in the morning and not being tired for the midday sleep.. The only thing about that that really sucks is that Lila has her sleep around midday too and that was our only down time when all the kiddies were sleeping.. poo.

Hannah, I am with you on the leaving the room ordeal... Sienna, if she is a little tired really gets upset, so much so that I can not even leave her with DH as she just will not settle at all. Although She is also really grabbing for things at the moment and getting upset if her big sister takes something from her...We bought her a BUMBO seat the other day and it's been fantastic....especially when I have my hands full looking after DD1...I can seat her in it and feed DD1 with not worrying that she may fall from the couch or get upset as she has been on her tummy for too long....

Speaking of DH........
hmmm, He is the most wonderful Man... Thats to be sure.. but HE REALLY sometimes gives me the !@#$%^&*!!! I even think that sometimes he pretends to be able to not settle Sienna just so I can do it..... sure he works really crappy hours, that's cool, but I am so tired at the moment... he just seams soooooo clueless...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...

xoxoxo Kath

[willow5]

Hi girls

Here's hoping Harry gives me time to post!

I've been reading but no time or energy to post so it may be short, and not make any sense...

Hi Rose I'm with you on the "over it" I really am the lack of sleep is really knocking me! I feel like I'm only just getting through the days now with absolutely no direction and getting pretty much nothing done, and then hoping each night will be better, which it never seems to be. Like you I'm not comfortable with controlled crying and the likes, it doesn't feel right to me, but I also don't know how much longer I can do the no sleep thing ...I'm hoping maybe solids will help, but doesn't sound like it's helped you guys, and didn't help me with DS1 either.

Hi Hannah Please don't talk that way!!!!!!!!!!! You have done nothing but want the best for Amelia since before she was born! You've researched pretty much everything or her benefit from pregnancy to birth until now and beyond, and you're trying everything you can. You are doing a fantastic job!! I would say Amelia is difficult or if you don't like difficult then hard, she's hard work,like Harry, definitely not an easy baby, and it is draining! Emotionally and physically! Sleep deprivation is a horrible thing, it's got me at the absolute end of my rope, making me feel so angry, anxious, exhausted and useless. I keep trying to remind myself it's not forever and it will get better. I do share your fears about returning to work and childcare with high maintenance babies, I feel myself they may suffer with the change but I'm not sure what more to do when we're trying all we can.

Hi Carmey Thinking of you, I hope you're going ok

Hi Tilda YAY Matilda with the self settling ...as someone else said would be great to stick it to all those who've said you're doing it wrong, you've done just fine!

Hi Suzi Grrrrrr with the losing your post! Hope all's well with you guys. Don't know about you but I'm hating the cold nights here I hate winter more each year!

Hi Kanda Welcome back! Sounds like you had a great time Hope the jet lag is all gone now.

Hi Alison I've just come form the chiro, I asked him about the swimming and the chlorine, he did know about the possible concern of breathing it with the under 2yr olds, but he also said it could be likened to being in a house/building that's just been cleaned with a lot of bleach or the likes it's not good but if it's only say an hour once even twice a week it should be ok. There are a million things like that that are bad for babies but unless you're going to move to a farm and live off your own land then you have to make choices about what you expose bubs to, this is one of those choices. Our cars and kitchens also "let off" nasties that we breathe in, from the plastics used in the dashboards, cupboards, shelves etc which are worse in the first couple of years when they're new but continue after that, especially in the summer, but we go in the car every day, and use the kitchen maybe the IL's could research that too long with the other millions of dangers out there.( they are building a new house at the moment yeah? With a new kitchen, is it ok for Amelia to be in there??) Do they clean with bleaches? Go in the car? Have mobile phones near Amelia? Have they looked into the possible dangers that come with immunisation? What about the heating/aircon system? What I'm getting at is that just about everything these days (sadly!) is toxic, and more so for babies while they're developing so it really needs to be about balance and not over exposing. I'm trying to keep everything at home as green and natural for Harry in the hope that at least he's not getting a build up of crap in his system from home, because you can't avoid everything "on the outside" so to speak lol

I hope that didn't come across as IL bashing, I didn't mean it to!! I'm so tired I'm finding it hard to get my point across with out sounding really cranky but I don't mean it!
So I guess you and DH need to weigh up the pros and cons and decide what you think is best, personally, I wouldn't be too worried if the exposure is only an hour or so a week, daily might be a bit much, and he did say the best option would be outdoors, but that's not always possible, unless you're keen on pneumonia lol

Any way I hope my post actually made sense! I'm in a fog these days.
Harry's finally last night gone back to 2hourly feeds at night, I so hope it lasts!! Every hour almost to the minute was killing me. He's been very clingy the last few days, but he's had a lot going on, we're at the tail end of the cold, pretty much all gone except for the frog in his throat, very cute husky voice though. Still teething with no sign of a tooth, WW dragging on...,growth spurt as well I think, and we both have thrush He had it in his mouth and groin poor little thing on top of everything else, so we've had drops & cream and I've gone off sugar and yeast to try to clear it from my system, which I'm sure isn't helping my mood or energy levels.
Harry's calling catch up later.

[Tilda]

Hi Kanda, yeah sometimes Tilly will absolutely scream the house down when DH dresses her and I can't help wonder if he's deliberately clumsy with it so I find it easier to just dress her myself. But hey, we're probably being way too suspicious LOL.

How was everyone's weekend? Hope it was fun and everyone was able to hand the baby around a bit.

AFM - Tilly has also taken grabbing things to a new level. I had her parked next to an aisle at the chemist while I paid for something to turn around and see she'd pulled a whole lot of stuff down off the hooks. When I got home I realised something had slipped in between her and the stroller. Shoplifting at 6 months!!! Better take it back later! She's becoming so much fun. Really getting into song and dance games and anything boisterous. For some reason she absolutely loves the tune to Carmen the opera - we'll sing Daa, Da, Da, Daa, Da...and it never fails to cheer her up. I think it might be why da, da, da is really her first real sound. We;re going pretty slowly on the solids. She'll taste a bit of something but hasn't really been woofing anything down. So far avocado and pear are her favourites. Oh, BTW, I got the IKEA smock bibs and they're GREAT. She hasn't started screaming as soon as I leave the room but I can't leave for long (see below).

We're settling into Sydney well but I'm starting to have a few IL issues. My MIL was around yesterday and aked how the banana was going with Tilly (she gave us one a couple of weeks ago when we first started solids). And I said I'd stopped giving it to her because she became constipated and Babylove recommended avoiding banana in this case. Anyway, I get this really, really, really long email today about how she recalls I had mentioned she hadn't done a poo that day (before I gave her the banana), and that her boys ate banana every day, and that maybe it was another food, and that it was unlikely to be the banana blah, blah, blah. And I need to keep her up to date so that "when/if" she has the opportunity to look after Matilda she doesn't want to make any mistakes. There was seriously about 5 paragraphs devoted to this - it almost read like a legal letter. The "when/if" comment I think relates to me saying I didn't want to leave her for two or three hours with her next weekend - she wanted to shout me and DH to a restaurant for his BD. I tried to explain to her that I haven't left Matilda with anyone for that long and that she feeds pretty frequently and that when I left her with someone a couple of weeks ago I was called back after 15 minutes. Anyway, it was this really long passive aggressive email and I'm not sure whether to just ignore it or not. Anyway, sorry for dumping all of that! And back to Sydney, what's all this rain about? I just left Hobart!!

[Alison1973]

Hi Girls!

Hi Hannah - that info is fantastic thank you! I would love you to send me the articles so I can show DH! alig1973@hotmail.com Thank you lovely girl! Yay for Amelia trying to crawl, wow! I just have lots of rolling going on here lol. My Amelia likes to be around me more now too, if I put her in the jolly jumper and don't stand and watch her she will crack it. Hmmmm... ha ha. It's nice to be wanted I guess. My Amelia has just discovered how to squeal, it's cute now but I reckon we'll be over it in a few days ha ha.

Hi Kanda - I only have Amelia and I'm already finding the 2 naps takes up a bit chunk of the day now she's sleeping longer lol - will we ever be happy! If I want to go out I'm best to do it after 3.00 pm these days.

Hi BS - shopping buddy lololololol Hope you had a fab weekend beautiful. I love your latest pics of Eva in those blue and white hobo type pants, she looks ever so cute as always.

Hi Tilda, grrr to MIL's.....I copped the lecture on the swimming, you on the banana, one of these days we're just going to turn and say F off and mind your own beeswax!!!! As for ignoring it, I've been doing that for a little while now and last week I very nearly snapped. I have however started to stick up for myself more so perhaps you could reply but do it when you're not so angry or you might say something true but not necessarily worth saying if you know what I mean! Good luck!

Hi Willow - thanks also for your info on the swimming and you're not IL bashing at all, I feel exactly how you have explained it. I'm thinking of still taking her after my block bookings have finished but not telling DH but not sure I can do it. lol. Still thinking about it. The benefits outweigh the risks to me but he sees it differently. As for your lack of sleep, I don't know how you girls cope, you're amazing. Amelia's always been a good sleeper but I did install quite a strict routine as soon as we got home so while it was a bit of work initially it definitely seems to have paid off and I will definitely be doing it for number 2. Of course I do believe some of it comes down to your baby's personality so I could well get a non sleeper next time, in fact, I bet I do ha ha! Aside from Wonder Weeks, sickness, teething or all three Amelia is pretty good. I have just dropped the 3rd nap and to be honest I'm finding she's sleeping even better at night. Since the wonder weeks the other week she went back to fussing quite a bit through the night, the last 3 nights she hasn't made a sound until around 5.00 am and then it's just her either talking or doing her little whinge, I just let it go or go in and put the dummy in and she goes back to sleep until 7.00 am. I'm hoping to drop doing that next but I'm not fussed on the dummy thing yet to be honest, it's not like she's 2 or anything! But, also in keeping her awake a little longer (I did this gradually last week by 10/15 minute increments) she's sleeping longer in the day too, 1.5-2 hours. It is a little hard to keep her going from 3.00 ish to 6.30 pm when I put her to bed but she does make it without getting cranky so I've just gone with it. If she was too tired I was going to put her down, I don't want to force her so thought I'd just test it to see if she's ready. Anyway, so far so good but it could change I guess. In the meantime, this is the routine I'm doing if it helps at all:

Up 7.00 am - bottle followed by rice cereal or Rafferty's banana porridge
Nap between 9.00 and 9.30 am
Up again between 10.30 and 11.00
11.00ish - Bottle
12.00/12.30 - solids
Down for nap around 1.30 pm
Up around 3.00 pm
Bottle 3.00/3.30
Dinner (solids) 5.00/5.30
Bath around 6.00 pm
Last bottle around 6.30 pm
Bed by 7.00 pm

Of course it's not strict but is very much around these times, Amelia has always like a routine so it works well for me. As you know though it could all go to crap any day ha ha. The last stretch of awake time between her 2nd nap and bedtime is quite long, if she gets really tired I'd just let her go down for a bit of a recharge but she has lasted so far so I'm just going with the flow at the moment.

Oh and I wanted to ask if anyone else was having troubles with their bubs taking all their milk now they're on solids? I assume dropping back on the formula is normal given the solids are now filling her up, I read somewhere they should still be getting at least 600mls of milk a day with 3 solids but the last few days Amelia has been only taking around 450-500 mls in a day. She just doesn't want to finish it, even pushes it away but when I pull out the solids, yes please! lol She isn't losing weight so I guess I shouldn't worry but I might go see the health nurse this week and chat with her just to double check. I tried avocado on Friday and she hated it, someone said to try banana with it so will give that a go next time. What else can I try? I haven't tried carrot yet, just pumpkin and sweet potato so might try potato and carrot next. Any greens other than avocado that you can think of besides broccoli? I don't want to try that yet as my friend said it's given her baby really bad wind pain so no thanks!

Anyway, that's my thing for now, will see how it goes lol.

How is everyone else going? It's hard to keep up some times isn't, miss a few days and you're way behind!

Hope you're all having lovely weekends. It's a long weekend here in Perth, I keep forgetting it's Monday!
xx

[BrusselsSprout]

[QUOTE=HannahD;2338282]Tilda, BS, Alison, kanda - Thankyou so much for...well...everything.

BS - It's strange that you refer to Amelia as difficult. MIL says the same thing. I don't think of her as difficult at all. I just have a lot of days where I don't feel I can give her what she needs.

When I say difficult, I don't mean it as though she is bad...There are just babies who need more attention, and are more demanding than others...I should not have used difficult - I have done that with Eva before (when she was younger) and tried to not use that word. Demanding is probably better. I did not mean to use that term - I type very fast and sometimes don't proofread or think It is not negative - some babies are just easy - sleep eat poo stable etc...others are more demanding. Making the situation more difficult, not the baby

[willow5]

[QUOTE=BrusselsSprout;2341238]

Tilda, BS, Alison, kanda - Thankyou so much for...well...everything.

BS - It's strange that you refer to Amelia as difficult. MIL says the same thing. I don't think of her as difficult at all. I just have a lot of days where I don't feel I can give her what she needs.

When I say difficult, I don't mean it as though she is bad...There are just babies who need more attention, and are more demanding than others...I should not have used difficult - I have done that with Eva before (when she was younger) and tried to not use that word. Demanding is probably better. I did not mean to use that term - I type very fast and sometimes don't proofread or think It is not negative - some babies are just easy - sleep eat poo stable etc...others are more demanding. Making the situation more difficult, not the baby

Hi BS I knew exactly what you meant, you weren't being negative, some babies just are more demanding, not bad, just hard work!
I'm sorry I think I forgot to say hi to you in my last post sorry!

[BrusselsSprout]

Willow I use the word difficult because I had the same issues, which for me have stopped, so I do understand your situation (Rose, Willow, Hannah) - I am a New Yorker, so words come out before going through the brain and now the lack of sleep can make us a bit sensitive sometimes, especially when you have outsiders giving you their opinions all the time! I used to get so angry when people would tell me Eva was too hungry and I should give her formula or why don't I try this or that, like I didn't try EVERYTHING! So I did not want to offend Hannah, since I wrote fast and did not mean to use a negative term...that is why I apologized separately

I hope Harry settles down...you sound so tired It might also be the construction aggravating him and hopefully it passes when you guys settle into the house and a normal sched. You're totally right - the world we live in if full of chemicals bad stuff etc...we just have to do ur best.

Tilda and Kanda - the DH thing is funny, isn't it....but I have another theory on that....My DH really loves to do that stuff, and is really hands on with Eva but she still cries more with him (for example, he cannot, for the life of him, use the suction machine on her nose, she screams bloddy murder! - she screams with me but not that much) - I think they cry moire because DHs are a bit more clumsy and the babies can feel that - they can feel that them crying stresses out DH - My DH gets soooo stressed if she starts crying after her bath that he sometimes "forgets" to clean her ears or her nose (the stuff she hates - how convenient ) I think it is more that - they stress, baby feels it cries more because it works to stop him sometimes, and that is all...

Hannah, about two weeks or so ago Eva would not let me leave either - she would see me going into the kitchen, and we live ina sort of loft apt so she can see me pretty much anywhere except in the bedrooms and kitchen , and she would start this high picthed shriek! Then as soon as she sees me, back to her toys. She didn't even want entertainment or anything, just to see me. That has passed and now she entertains herself well again - It is part of the WW - they are starting to relaize you can "disappear" - scary stuff!

Tilda, Alison - jeez the pushy inlaws are annoying - I am so lucky that my ils are so chill - they don't bother us about anything and let us decide for ourselves. I get along really well with my mil (better than i do with my mother), so that is part of it too...Tilda, I hate leaving Eva with people and with the bf almost never left her with anyone (except mil for one hour at a time to do some sports)...It just stresses me out...MIL shoudl just relax. Tell her it is your first child and she feeds often and you just moved etc, so you are nervous to leave her until she settles in. jeez. don't these in laws know we don't need MORE stress!?

Alison, Eva was on a pretty similar shced til daycare...now she dropped the third nap but has two good blocks morning and afternoon...Sometimes though when I pick her up at 330 she is tired and wants to nap, but I try to keep her entertained because I noticed she sleeps restlessly and wakes often in the night when she has that third nap now....The past three days she has not been sleeping from around 2/3 until 1030 at night! I don't know what is up with her, she gets tired, I put her to bed and she ends up in the there just squealing and puttin gher bum up in the air and pushing up and down...she is trying to crawl I reckon...and it kicks in full blast at night --- Let's see if she goes back to normal after daycare today - maybe she is less tired being home...I find that with the solids Eva does not finish either, but she has added a feed...this WE she ate lots of half meals but had an extra full bottle before bed and earlier than she would usually want it - I think the heat affected her though.

Carmey, thinking of you. Hope all is well.

Lani same to you...

Suz, hope you get time to put up a post soon type it in word first them copy and paste - I got so tired of losing posts that I started putting the text into a doc first...

Hi to everyone else!!!


Eva has been great just stuffed up nose...We wanted to put her in her little inflatable pool this WE but I did not want to finally since her nose was all blocked up...she enjoyed a WE at home with the family (in laws just got back from two weeks in china)...she ate pears, avocado (which she loooves), carrots and was feeding often but not finishing her bottles...

She is also starting to crawl, a lot of backwards action, but she does get forwards more and more now...When I say crawl I mean like a worm, more like a belly slither Sometimes she thinks she is doing something and just lays there with her body tight grunting - it is pretty cute...and she is moving in that walker of hers! She figured out front back and turning now, but if she gets stcuk against a piece of furniture; she keeps pushing and getting upset when she can't advance

Work is advancing super fast here...The merger might become a sale and we might be moving to asia...all in talks, so we'll see!

Oh, and I ordered Eva a bath seat this week - she is over being reclined in the bath, so I'll let you guys know how it goes once I get that!

[willow5]

BS lol I understand, I was just saying I knew what you meant because I myself call Harry difficult I was just at the computer when you posted

And Kawa I missed you too, sorry! Great that the markets went so well and as for DH, well, sometimes they have no idea! I've been following you on FB too love your profile pic for Fluffy stuff! and everything looks great! Too many bills this month, but I think I'll be sampling some of your wares soon!!

And Lani omg I really didn't do very well in the last post, hope all's well with you too, we seem to cross paths on fb a bit too

I'll probably pop back on later when I remember something else I forgot!

[Rose_Red]

Hi girls!

I'm way behind yet again, this time because I haven't been getting notifications. Going to attempt some replies!

BS - Liam does that wriggly worm "crawling" as well. It's really cute! Though he can't really figure out that he can move around in his walker (or he's too lazy to!). I know that you've probably said it all before, but what things did you find really helped with getting Eva to be more settled and sleep more?

Alison - I look at that routine with envy. I wish we had anything like a routine, but everything is still all over the place. It's driving me a bit mental, really. I wouldn't stress about Ameila not finishing her bottles, so long as she's having good nappy output and is still developing. She'll only eat what she needs.

Tilda - Argh at your MIL. I loathe people being like that!

willow - I hope those night feeds keep stretching out. It's killer having to get up every hour.

Hannah - I don't remember if I replied to your previous post. But it sounds to me that Amelia is pretty high needs (much like Liam). I don't remember if you're anywhere in the spectrum of attachment parenting, but I found Sears' Fussy Baby Book to be awesome. I actually felt like I was a lot less alone after reading it. I think you're doing a very good job with a baby who's a lot of work, though I think I understand at least some of what you're going through. I find it really hard knowing people who have easy babies - I end up second guessing myself a lot and wondering if I'm just a crap mother with Liam being so needy all the time. But ultimately, some babies are just more work.

AFM - Liam's spending his first night in his own room tonight It makes me really sad, actually - I've loved having him in the room with us. I'm also not looking forward to having to go to the other side of the house for night feeds. I'm just hoping that he'll sleep better now. We're going to give it a week at least, anyway, and if he's sleeping worse then, we'll move him back.

We've actually had a not bad weekend. We've been out and about a bit, which always makes Liam happy, because he gets to socialise and flirt. He's hardly napped, though, just 20 minutes here and there. He did crash out a bit late this afternoon, though. He's still going well with solids - we've increased him to three times a day now, though he's still taking a lot of milk as well.

I've been feeling a bit useless with everything lately, though. It just feels like it's all so hard. I really want Liam to be on a routine - or hell, I'd like him to actually be napping during the day. I just hate that I find it all so hard - I get so exhausted and angry and frustrated about it all. I thought things would be easy by now :-/ I hate not being able to cope with everything - I've always coped with everything, even some life-shattering stuff, but this is just so *hard*. I've been resisting accepting much help from people (such as getting my mother to watch Liam properly a couple of times a week to give me a chance to write) and I really need to stop. The hubby and I went out to the movies on our own on Saturday and it was so refreshing to just spend some time being us and not Mummy and Daddy. We need to do it more, I think.

[Tuesday's Child]

BS - I do understand what you meant by describing Amelia as difficult. Please don't think you offended me, because you didn't. I know you weren't being negative. It's just strange to me that other people think of her that way when I don't. Thinking of her as difficult feels strange to me. And its strange no matter which word is used, difficult, demanding, challenging. My frustration and sadness come from my sense of failure. Amelia IS challenging, but I don't feel I'm up to the challenge, ITMS. Sorry if this is a bit confused....I'm wrecked and was just heading off to bed when I saw your post.

[Tilda]

Rose and Hannah - don't be so hard on yourself!! You're doing a fabulous job with high needs babies. And say yes, yes, yes to all the help. We weren't meant to be able to do it all on our own, even with an easy baby. It's only in the last 50 years or so that there has been this expectation that mothers go it alone and it doesn't make any sense. In their first year babies need so much attention. Matilda was a different baby when we had all the extended family around. It made her look like an easy baby because she was never bored, always had someone picking her up, wearing her out and then she slept better too! Everyone was like "what are you complaining about?"! So say yes, yes, yes! I'm trying to set things up at the moment so I've got help around the house with cleaning, company for her and respite for me through a mix of domestic help, family, etc. And when I was complaining to my aunt recently about Matilda's tendency to catnap (and often on top of me) she said "Don't worry, they all become good day sleepers eventually when they start moving about more". And I think she's right. Matilda has all of a sudden started doing long morning sleeps! So it can change very quickly and without any intervention. Someone at playgroup said the same thing happened with her catnapper at 6 months and then at about 7 or 8 months they started doing a long afternoon sleep. So maybe we'll all have Allison's baby soon!

Willow - I was posting at the same time as you yesterday so sorry I missed your post. OMG two hourly feeds at night you poor thing. And that sounds like a good night for you!! Does he ever settle without a feed at night? Or does he insist and beat your boobs? Now, I preface this suggestion with saying I know that sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do and they're going to do what they're going to do, but if you settled him without feeding do you think he might think its not worth waking up for? I've tried doing that with Matilda and I think it helps a bit. But I realise its also a balancing act and you don't just want them waking up in another half hour hungry. Very frustrating! Oh, please, please Harry, give your mum a break!!!

BS - yes, I think you're right. These little girls know how to get there Dad's where they want them LOL. How exciting you might be moving to Asia. It's much closer to Australia! I'll be very jealous. I'd love to move to Asia somewhere for awhile. I love the food, the people are lovely, the weather is great.

Alison - good on you for sticking up to your ILs. I think its important to set some boundaries with ILs that have strong opinions and want to be very "involved" in an overbearing way. And I hope you can convince DH about the swimming = it sounds like she loves it so much.

Carmey - hope you're doing OK!

Hi everyone else.

AFM - Thanks for all the moral support about my MIL yesterday. After I'd let myself cool down a bit and I'd talked it over with DH I sent back a very simple, brief, friendly, reply explaining what I was doing to treat the constipation including holding off on the banana (as recommended to me by health professionals). Anyway, I really should go an do some things while little miss is asleep. Will try and get back on a bit later.

[Alison1973]

Hi Tilda - ha ha yes I guess Amelia is an "easy" baby but you watch it will bite me on the bum teenage years....you'll all have angels and I'll have a terror 2 year old or something lol! Believe me, Amelia has bad days, she was the devil at her wonder week recently....I do have a lot of support here though, 2 sister's who live around the corner and DH helps out quite a bit so I can't complain. I think you're right though, the more they start moving the more tired they are going to get, I think the key is to get them before they get too tired. I've found putting Amelia down before she gets tired makes her to go sleep quietly without fuss, if I wait until she's already rubbing her eyes it becomes much harder. It does help having a routine though because I know that around 9.00 am for example she will get tired so instead of waiting until 9.15 am to get the "eye rub" I just put her down. Of course some days this just doesn't work and I get tantrums, it's all a learning curve isn't it!

Right, she's down for a nap now so I really should get off the computer and go wash my hair, it feels so revolting!

[kawazuki]

wow you ladies can talk lol.. all good though
sprry i havent read everyones totally.

that bath seat sounds great, cant wiat to hear about it.. think we need something similar as well maree si just egtting a bit out of control in teh bath, rolling is her fav thing. not good for my sanity when she is in the bath.

willow, yeh that would eb great, just let me know

im so exhausted, got another market on saturday and im trying desperately to get stock back up, its going better than i thought.

yeh dh is just being funny, im not sure, but i have also been a bit weird, i think teh mirena is playing up, im over bleeding on and off nad not having a set period or routine with my body, i feel like im on edge all day wiating to see if im going to bleed.

will be talking to my dr about it at marees 6 month check up.
also my hair is falling out in large amounts weird i know, im leaving a hair trail everywhere i walka dn clocging up teh sink when i was my hair.

i have been in a cleaning frenzy for 2 days and dont understand it

i better get back to work, will catch up properly tomorrow when im home with just maree

[BrusselsSprout]

Hi girls!

BS - Liam does that wriggly worm "crawling" as well. It's really cute! Though he can't really figure out that he can move around in his walker (or he's too lazy to!). I know that you've probably said it all before, but what things did you find really helped with getting Eva to be more settled and sleep more?

Hi to everyone, but this post is for Rose I read this yesterday and thought about everything with Eva and how she has changed so that I can write you a good thorough email because at the beginning Eva and Liam were so similar, and I really hope he settles down before you lose your mind He will but I will just let you know everything that helped me, in case any of it works for you. Everything I will write is what worked for Eva, and I am not sure if the same will work for Liam, but maybe you will find something in there worth trying that you might not have thought about.

Ok, so just one reminder, remember that Eva had 3 sort of 'calming down' periods. The first was at around 2 months when I transfered her to her room and after seeing an osteo who manipulated her back and released tension from her neck which helped the reflux...The second was when she started taking the meds for reflux at 3 months, which was the most extreme change I have ever experienced in her personality and thiird was when I had completely weaned her off of breast milk at 4 months.

I'll go into each one of these phases with the particularities and what I did and what I noticed worked for her - see based on how Liam is in order to see what advice you feel might be beneficial. The formula thing for example is prob not an option for you if you plan on continuing bf until the end (which I had originally planned to do but my body did not seem to agree with...so the formula feeding helped but I discovered that not as a solution I took on myself but as something I was sort of forced into, but ended up helping immensely - remember when I was weaning her and giving her breast milk and formula she would throw up all my breast milk? I think it was the acidity that irritated her reflux...)

Ok, so the first phase...what happened is that we went to see and osteo that specializes in babies, especially reflux babies. He manipulated Eva and was actually the one who diagnosed her reflux. After he manuipulated her, I noticed that she was a lot more settled and was sleeping better (she was already belly sleeping often at this point - but not at night)...I decided to move her to her room because of this fact - it was a more settled period but she was still up for about 4 feeds a night sleeping with us. The first night she woje up less and by the fourth night she was already down to two feeds a night - you have already moved Liam, so this is good. The first week is difficult for you but he will sleep better not having you in the room and not hearing the noise and smelling his yummy mummy - I helped Eva be happy in her bed by putting in a nice mobile and giving her after bath playtime in her bed so that she learns to enjoy being in there, and she does and loves to play in there until this day, even more than he rmat most times!

Second, during the beginning phases was the bath thing. I was super crazy anal about ALWAYS putting her in the bath at 6pm (now it is between 6-7) every day. EVERY DAY. I always did the same things, same sched, nice music, etc...I really believe this helped her "understand" sleep time. Now, as soon as she gets out of her bath, she wants to go into her bed even if she is not tired to unwind and play with her mobile. I only do this at night. For naps, she goes straight down without playing in bed. I agree with ALuison that it is very important to catch the first signs of fatigue...not get to the tired point. Eva will start being sort of grumpy when she gets tired but she'll be fine and keep playing - she'll get annoyed at her toys and stuff, so I'll take her, give her a little snuggle and put her down on her belly with a dummy. Sometimes she plays with her little doudou (in french that is what we call a lovey - she has a little flat plush lion ) but always nods off on her own.

The second shift, was that medication. The pediatrician explained to me that since she was going untreated for so long, she probably had damage to her esophagus and that I would have to administer that syrup for two full month even if things were better...I think I told you before but you should really look into changing from gaviscon - here gaviscon is just an over the counter antacid...What Eva got was much stronger and only had to be administered once a day before her first feed - it was an adult medicine that they removed from the capsules and mixed into a baby syrup (it was called omneoprezole, so maybe check online to see what it is called in aus). It was awful giving it to her but protected her for 24 hours. The first day I gave it to her, Rose, I swear, I did not believe she could eat without crying...I cried from joy - she napped, played, ate with no problems. If you can, and would like to you really should look into this. Because no matter what you do, if the poor little baby is in pain, he'll never sleep well or settle down.

I continued with bf at this point until 4 months, but already the change was amazing, so even if the breast milk is more acidic, Liam will prob feel much better if the medication you give him is better...Eva went into 2 hour naps and was generally a happier baby after I started this medication. I thanked that pediatrician profusely the next time I saw him...

Ok, so the third shift was the weaning. I know formula "fills up" babies more...but for me the thing that shocked me the most was that when I was weaning she started THROWING UP every time it was breast milk....I was so upset because my supply was going down and when she would drink it she would throw it up (but like a massive throw up, not just spit up!)...she seemed physically to only want to keep down formula...it was pretty wierd. The formula thing does not pertain to you, as if I could I would still be bf...but you can try to pump milk and give him cereal mixed in, and maybe it will settle him a bit and bring down the acidity...i still don't know how he is with the bottle, but it is an option, maybe just for his night feed?

After a few weeks of formula feeds she got into a sched like I had never experienced, four bottles a day, four hours between each bottle, sleep from 7-6am. I was in heaven...this is shifting again now, as she is adding feeds with the heat and growing...but she still sleeps through and is not very difficult - just the time bet feeds changes sometimes...

So maybe in your case it would be a good idea to go see an osteopath - I was not so sure about that when I went but it really made a difference - It is worth a shot I guess and to try the bed thing since he has just moved to his room - this is a very good time to make his room "his" and it will become his haven and a place you can put him to entertain himself. It will help you get some time to yourself knowing he is in a safe place where he has his little toys and is happy and calm.

Now, some lessons I have learned for myself, which have nothing to do with the baby but might help your sanity:

1. Like you said, go out with DH! GOGOGOGOGOGO! You need to go out sometimes and be you, not a mother. Even if DH agrees to watch him once or twice a week to give you two hours to yourself for hair washing, sleep, writing whatever, do it. Force yourself. We forget ourselves and our day is finished! And as you can tell by the end of 6 months, you don't remember the last time you felt rested or took care of yourself.

2. I had a huge problem with this one, but it helps...let other people take care of him. If he is unsettled he will be unsettled. If it is with you or DH or your mum he will be unsettled. DH made me realize that - when she would cry he would take her and I would just sit to rest and I could not resist getting back up to take her all the time and DH would say, stop that, if she is crying, she is crying, so if it is with me or you it does not make a difference, now go lay down for a bit, and he was right! Practice leaving him alone with people you trust and that know him well...no one takes care of our babies like we do, but they have to get used to not always having mummy be there to do EXACTLY what they want. Once Is tarted leaving Eva with mil more (when I picked up more training) she was calmer...she would cry but not scream...she learned to be patient since mil sometimes had to try one or two things before figuring out what was wrong, wheras I usually know right away...Rose, if you don't get a break and some time for yourself you will be less effective as a mother, so don't feel bad about leaving him to have you time..you are lucky to have your mum offering to watch him, so give your orders and go write. You'll feel wonderful even if you manage to get 2 hours a week to yourself. Needing time for yourself does not make you selfish or a bad mother, it makes you human. And it is good for Liam to get used to being handled by other people - Eva, since starting daycare has started communicating with people in the street and smiling at everyone, and being happy on anyone's lap which is so nice for me since I manage to eat my meals now! Nothing is better than mummy, but it is good for hil to realize that mummy is not there every waking second of the day

3. Someone else might also have more luck getting him to take a bottle and if that happens, ask DH to take over one night shift a week (on a sat for example) because that is a real lifesaver...if he won't take the bottle, then ask DH to take a night shift anyway and bring liam to you for feeding in bed, then go burp him, change him and put him back to bed in his room. The hard part here is that you have to keep your bum in bed! If he cries, let DH handle it and get your sleep. One full night a week is so refreshing...DH takes over all the night wakes on the WE - Eva barely wakes now but if she has a cold or the dummy falls out he does it. I can tell you I tend to be in a great mood on the WE even if it is only a 6 hour stretch most times. For those of you who have night wakes that is a looong sleep

4. Teach him to self settle. This might take some time, but like Alison said, put him to bed on his belly (since he's happier that way) when you see him tiring...but not once it is too obvious...give him little plushes or something so that he does not feel lonely or bored in bed...rub his back, then leave him. He prob won't even cry. Don't stay in there...If he cries go in and rub him a bit and if he keeps going then pick him up for a snuggle...I don't believe in letting a baby "cry it out" and could never do that with eva, but I found that sometimes picking her up would upset her more because she was just crying from being tired, so sometime a rub on the back or reading him a book might help. I am a particular fan of seuss for my eva - once he loves his bed he'll give you no problems being in there and if he has little toys attached to the bars and a mobile, he'll be happy playing in there even if he does not fall asleep right away.

And also, he will settle down soon, he will tire more, he will move more, he will see more, he will eat more. So just try to keep it together because you're almost out of this period. You are really a great mother and always so positive and loving with him. You never complain about him or get angry, just say you're tired and you don't feel great...so you really are dealing with htis like a champ. You are amazing!

Ok, so I know that was long, but I know how you feel...so I hope any of that can help you....Keep me posted.

xoxo

[Tilda]

Hey Alison, yeah I think "easy baby" is a contradiction in terms! No such thing really. They all demand a lot and they all have their wonder weeks!! It's great you can pick Amelia before she gets over tired. I sort of can with Matilda now too. I know she lasts about 2 and a half hours first thing in the morning so around 2 and a quarter I stick her on the boob and off she drifts. But it has been a bit trickier in the afternoons. She seems to be lasting a bit longer and I've found I've been jumping the gun a bit. Tilly is also starting to drop that third late afternoon nap.

Kawazuki - yes, you've found yourself in a forum of real talkers! Good luck with the market. I don't know how you do it. But look after yourself. You don't sound a 100%. How is DH being funny?

BS - great advice for Rose. I think the bedtime routine is extremely important too. I used to find it hard to stick to when she was very little because she was so not in a routine and its not something they respond to right away but its amazing when they do tune in to it how much they love it. She doesn't anymore but at one point Matilda would grunt at me when she thought it was time to move to the next step in the routine. I want to get out of the bath mum, enough stories mum, enough twinkle twinkle little start mum, I want a feed now and so on. It was kind of cute.

AFM - Had a fantastic day with Matilda. She slept for a couple of hours in the morning, we went to playgroup, she slept another couple of hours (this day sleeping is a completely new experience for me) and then we had a lovely couple of hours playing, cooking dinner, and getting ready for bed. But I'm feeling a bit flat due to some IL issues - but I won't go into details because its just not worth getting too worked up about. I should get ready for bed before I fall asleep at the computer.