Tilda - I hope Matilda is on the mend. And you too! I hope her sleep settles down. It may be an extension of the separation anxiety. Amelia is having that too. She's quite happy to play on her own, but frequently looks up to make sure I'm there. I love the smiles I get when our eyes meet. Whenever I walk out of the room or out of sight, I just continue talking to her so that she knows I'm nearby and am coming back. If she looks like she's going to be a big fuss, I'll pause in the doorway, explain where I'm going and why, then walk out while continuing to talk.

beany - I'm actually enjoying being back at work, thanks (see below). Glad Michael is over his cold. I hope his sleep gets better now. Is DH able to settle him at night? If you're feeling tense Michael might be picking up on it and unable to relax himself. I think that's what happens with Amelia. It's so frustrating when DH takes her and she'll put his head on his shoulder and eventually go to sleep.

BS - 8 months wow! The time certainly has flown by. 8 months of pregnancy seemed so looong. Glad you're enjoying the south of france. TTC#2 that soon?! Good luck.

to everyone else

AFM - Being back at work isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm working on the same project I was doing before mat leave (thanks to my replacement leaving in march ) but am now sharing the role with another mum whose son was born the same day as Amelia. Amelia hasn't been sleeping that well so getting to work by 8am has been challenging. She slept much better last night so I actually made it on time today. Thank goodness that my hours are so flexible, but I feel a little bad about being late and then taking time out to express. Amelia starts family day care in august, so I'll be able to do a couple of full days a week (am doing 5 mornings this week and next) and I'll be able to make up the time then.

Both days so far, Amelia has been asleep when I've gotten home, so I guess that means she's happy being at home with Dad. When she's woken up I've gotten great big kisses. It's almost worth being away from her just to see how happy she is when I'm home.

I'm pleasantly surprised by myself. I was seriously dreading coming back to work. I didn't know how I was going to be able to juggle everything. But I'm so much more relaxed about work. Before Amelia, work was pretty much my life. Now my family is my life and work comes second. I always felt like I needed to prove myself but now I don't. Perhaps it's because in my absence I was made aware of how much I am valued (always nice to know ). But I feel much more relaxed about my work which should make it more enjoyable and I'll be more productive as a result. I'm just surprised how easy it has been for work to fit into second place rather than competing for first. Then again, we'll see how things go once I have to deal with deadlines LOL.

Another plus is that I am enjoying my time with Amelia so much more. Usually by the end of the day, I'm getting desperate for some time to myself and wish she would just be happy playing on her own or not need so much help in getting to sleep. But having those few hours away from her and home makes me value the time with her so much more.

Then again, perhaps its just refreshing after a bad last week dealing with mum's estate. I miss her! While she was sick and I was on mat leave, we at least talked on the phone everyday. I keep catching myself thinking "I must ask/tell mum about that". The worst is when Amelia does something new. I just have to give it time to pass.

Finally, I think Amelia is beginning to learn to self settle. She used to hate it when I'd lay down with her on the bed. Now she is more often quite happy to lie next to me and will eventually go to sleep. She'll flail her arms around for a bit, pull the sheet on and off her face (so cute), sometimes squeal or grizzle. Then it reduces to her head turning from side to side until she figures out which side is comfortable and then she's out. I've even managed to leave the room a couple of times and she's gone to sleep within 5-10 minutes. There is definitely more and louder grizzling if I'm not there, but she doesn't get herself worked up like she used to. Now I just have to figure out how to get into bed next to her without waking her up.

Sorry for rambling on a bit. Just a lot going on in my head at the moment.