Babies born~December 1st-15th 2009 # 4

[Alison1973]

Hi BS - I know exactly what you're saying and you're right. It's funny because a few people have mentioned the socialisation thing for Amelia and myself and quite honestly I socialise every week with people so that doesn't bother me at all. I have 2 groups of friends, my pregnancy aqua friends and my mums group girls and I see them every week. Amelia gets to play with other bubs and I get to socialise with other adults, and we don't always talk babies on purpose! I'm very lucky to have lots of people around me, some people don't so I can understand the need for that side of things. Maybe it's my age, given I'm 37 and all it's almost like I've done the whole "career" thing for now, my job while I loved it doesn't seem as important to me anymore and like I said before I am happy to work, I just want to find something else that is more of interest to me, my whole perspective on life has changed since having Amelia and my priorities are not worrying about dealing with someone at work who wants to give me the poopies etc. As an admin assistant you do have to put up with lots of bum wiping, personally I'd prefer to wipe Amelia's butt any day!! lol But, in saying all this, I got an email from my boss this morning, he was very lovely in it and said that he totally understands how I'm feeling and doesn't want me to stress. He said he needs to check with HR but he's happy for me to just come in one day a week initially and work from home as well but he wants me to do 2 days at home not 1 - so that's 3 days, I really only want to do 2, even working from home I'm not sure I could put in a decent day's work without having someone watch Amelia and I'm not really prepared to do that for 3 days in the week, that's eating into too much of the time I want to spend with her. DH will have her for the day I'm in the office which is lucky and I'm sure my sister's would look after her but it's not that, it's me, I don't want it to cut into my time with her, it might sound odd but that's the way I feel. But, if it comes down to that or not at all and having to repay the maternity leave money I will do it and give myself an end date of December and resign, that way I don't feel so trapped and really it's only a couple of months so I imagine that will fly by. It might be stuffing them around a bit but at the end of the day I need to learn to not worry about others and do what is best for me and my family and I think this is it, this is my compromise to myself ha ha! Anyway, it might not be possible, it also depends on if I can get my pc hooked into the network system at work so I can do the necessary work. One of the jobs I can do from home he said was the travel bookings which is what I wanted to do - it's my fave part of the job but he's also suggested taking over another part of the other admin's role which I hate, it's something I flicked ages ago when I managed to get myself an assistant, the woman I'd be doing the work for is a pain in the backside too so not sure I could handle it. But, my boss said to have a think if there's something else I could do, I think he's really going to do his best to suit my needs which is so lovely of him, which is part of why I feel guilty mucking him around but he's leaving at the end of the year anyway so I'm just telling myself that to stop me from stressing so much. I think a lot of it too is not coming back fulltime means the job won't really be mine anymore and I feel a bit weird about that as I'd built that job up to what it is. When I started in this department there was only me and 4 other people, there's now 70 people, it was a brand new position and I basically created it into what it is today - 3 years down the track. I know I can't having everything though, it's just a bit weird you know. It's such a tough decision to make to even consider leaving but I feel it's the right one for me. But, I'll give it a go till the end of the year, you never know, I might like it cough cough.....but seriously I'll give it a go. At least that way they can't say I didn't try - if it doesn't work I'll just tell them my situation has changed and it's best that I allow someone else to come in and take over. At least I'll be offering someone a really good job that is in a time in their life where they would appreciate it a lot more. It's really a fab company - it's Chevron BS, not sure if I've told you that before, but being from the US you will know who they are for sure hee hee. Our head office is in Houston and a lot of my colleagues are from there.

Anyway, you get the gist, I've rambled and rambled......of course this is all dependent on what HR says, they still might say no yet, but I shall keep you all posted. Thank you BS though for your input, I really appreciate having you girls to talk to about this stuff, I'm a terrible decision maker and this is one of those times when it's a BIG decision to make, not good for someone like me!

Hope everyone is well and your bubs are all as gorgeous as ever. Mine's getting cheekier by the day, every day she has a new personality trait and can do something different, I think they really obviously start to grow from hereon in don't they. I'm trying to teach Amelia the word no at the moment but it's not working very well lol. Oh and BS, Amelia wore her stripey velour pants today, I've taken a pic which I'll upload onto FB soon. They look so nice, so bright and colourful. xx