would you explain before or after time out? if before, then they'd know why they are getting time out?
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would you explain before or after time out? if before, then they'd know why they are getting time out?
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I would give a warning (1 to 3 depending on how patient I'm feeling). Once you've determined how many warnings you're going to give I would say something like "if you bite (or other thing) again you will be put in your room for some alone time"
When you put him in time out say "you have to stay here until you can play nicely"
then close the door and walk away. If you have to, set a timer for 1-2 mins so you don't forget to go back in and so you don't go back in too early.
When you go back make sure you explain it again but do it in a loving tone and give a hug. Make sure you are clear that if the behaviour continues that he'll be in time out again and IMO after this time, 1 warning before time out should be sufficient.
Now is the perfect age to start these things and they do start understanding quite quickly. I think though when Jazz is 2.5-3 years old I wont be doing time out in her room where there are toys, I'll probably put her in a boring corner...but this wont come until she can understand about staying put without the aid of me shutting a door.
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I guess in the end we all have to try different things and find what works for us and our child. Each parent and child is different.
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Hi all. I'm home. So tired. Jaz isn't great, but she's alright. I did update the thread.
Prama - Jesse's a biter. I hate it too. He's done it more than once though. Its just whats happening here atm. He's sick of the girls taking things off him all the time & that gets their reaction best. He does it to my friends DS coz he taught Jesse how & they spend too much time together & are always fighting over toys...they bite each other. We can't leave them alone for 5 minutes.
I have to come back & read through properly, but I just want to say, in regards to discipline, I've never been able to shut the door on them. Not when they are sleeping, or in trouble. With Jaz I occasionally will. Bri I have once or twice, but never shut properly & she freaks out at the idea of it. I'm just not comfortable with it. Never have been, & really think at 20 months they are way too young for that kind of discipline. Each to their own though.
Anyway. I'm really really tired, so night all xx
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humm its such a hard one isnt it. Thanks for the articles Prama, they were really good.
I find the balance of gentle parenting and not raising a child that gets their own way to be difficult. I dont set unreasonable barriers and only really have a problem with behaviour that is nasty or hurtful. Really she is neither at the moment, but i worry that this smacking may get out of control if i dont teach her that its unacceptable.
I actually dont like the idea of 'time out' in her room at all as i NEVER want her to see her room as being a place of punishment, its for sleeping and play and getting dressed and i dont want her to associate it with being in trouble.
Prama to answer the question, yes initially i shut the door, but it was too much for her, so i stopped doing that and she walked out. I dont know how time out will work really... i think i agree Prama - she is still too young... Bron, Skye and Trina - other advice (as you have done this more than once)
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sj - i know.. how do you draw the line.. it;s very hard.
you need to be gentle but let them know you mean business and they cant get away with some things. and instil discipline, but not being too harsh, and then whatever you do, they dont bother anymore.
i;ve seen with my cousins, when their dad used to cane them, so much so that caning no longer scared them.
yes, bron, skye, trina maybe you can impart your wisdom ...
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