I had my 6 week check up at the OB, all is healing well after the birth.
I looked for a returns desk at the hospital to drop Willow off to ... but couldn't find one? Ha Ha.
We have moved to being fully formula fed.
This has been so hard and disappointing for me as I am so pro-breastfeeding, but the formula appears to helping Will to settle and I am getting some sanity back in my life.
I cannot explain it. I've done several ABA courses, I've read all the BF books, watched the DVDs etc and have all the info on BF being 'the good stuff', but it just hasn't worked out that way for us.
Formula feels like it is giving me back a bit of my life and my time.
I know I am struggling at the moment, the OB did the post natal depression survey thing that they do to gauge how the new Mum is going ... I scored 15.
At the time I thought 15 was a good score.
This was until my OB said they accept a score of 13, however 6 is the average.
C'mon, it has to be the ONLY test where you hope you get a low score!!!
So yeah, DH and my Mum are keeping a close eye on me. My OB feels it's all situational though ... if I were magically transported to a beach in Fiji with a fruit ****tail in one hand and a good book in the other, well I would feel 100%. True depression is when no matter where you are, nothing changes your mood.
My OB reminded me that how I am feeling is to be expected - this is all new to me, it is stressful when you have a newborn let alone a very unsettled newborn, I am sleep deprived and I am learning 'on the job' everyday.
I am HUGELY confident that things will improve, Willow will slowly but surely get bigger and better at getting all the wind out and things will begin to settle.
My OB said that I should see a remarkable improvement in her beahviour from now (6 weeks) to 12 weeks.
It sounds dumb, but just the phrasing he used has helped - by saying "her behaviour". This is the first time it has been put to me like this. Up until now I instantly think 'Oh it's me' ... I'm not settling her correctly, I'm not feeding her well enough, I'm not feeding her for long enough, I'm not getting the burps out that she needs ... but by him terming it as "her behaviour" I've realised that it's not me at all. It is 'her' who is unsettled.
I am doing all that I can and it's 'her' behaviour that has to improve.
OK, well DH is off for four days now so am going to stop typing and go and enjoy some time with him while Will is napping.
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