Oh Ali - thats so tough for me to read. When my sister lost her bub (her heart stopped beating the morning of her scheduled c-section, however section was scheduled for the arvo ) we all had a hold. I remember going there the next day to the hospital and cradling this tiny baby in my arms (tiny comnpared to my huge bubbas!) and just rocking and rocking and wishing she would come back to life - it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through - and it wasn't even my baby! I can't imagine how they are feeling, the pain of losing a baby is just so huge, you just can't describe it. I have a picture of phoebe in my wardrobe (like, on a dresser thing) so every time I open it to get clothes out I see her beautiful sleeping face and am reminded that my children are the most precious little beings - and I should rejoice in the fact that they are with me - because I'm so blessed to have them ya know?
Anyhoo - sorry - you made me cry so I babbled on a bit!
Hi Mel - I'm so sorry I made you cry.....was such a sad day yesterday I just had to get that out. Wow, your sister is a strong girl, how do you move on from something like that? Has she had another since or was it recent? You have to wonder why these things happen, to happen the day of her c-section, you'd be forever thinking if only they did it the day before etc etc. So devastating. I think it's beautiful you have a pic of her on your dresser. It's kind of why I want to see a picture of this little one, so I can put a face to the name, especially now I have her hand print which I will keep for Amelia to look back on one day. It certainly makes you appreciate even more what you have huh! xx
Hi everyone else, how are we all? Sorry if I depressed everyone yesterday. I was feeling a little emotional yesterday and needed to vent, apologies!
Does anyone know what reputation points on BB are? I just realised I have some when changing my profile pic. I really need to look into this site more, I tend to just stick to the basics, I didn't know what being RAK'd meant either until I looked into it lol!
Ali - yeah that happened in March 2007 and she had another little girl in March 2008. I don't think she will ever move on from it, but she just gets through each day as best she can I suppose.
Rep points are points you give to people if you like their post - you hit the symbol that looks like scales in their post - write the reason why - and yup - given rep points.
Hi ladies, just checking in oo my mobile having a great time here and V being a good girl and sleeping well 11 hours last night it might be the farex. she is so fun to play with now. I hope everyone and babies are well x x
hahaha, kymmy you crack me up
Loved that post, so direct and to the point! Yet you made sure you included everyone! haha,youre such a great friend!
ali - glad you went to the funeral too. Ever since i read your post i've been looking at my thumb and thinking of that handprint.. that is so fragile.. I know what you mean about wanting to have a squizz at the photos, put a face to the name. You're such a lovely person.. To buy a gift for someone you had just met, and then to attend the funeral for their child... beautiful :love: Hope you're feeling okay today... Life is so precious. I've been smothering my babies with kisses and hugs since reading your post. Also love the idea of the willow tree.. how lovely. Big hugs for you and amelia
natty - loving your pics of v on fb, her hair colour is gorgeous, i can see a hint of red through it too, but only a touch, its lovely! hoep youre having fun on your holiday!
Mel - hope youre feeling ok. must be hard hearing others sad stories, as it would remind you of your own. love aricyns pictures, how old is he? very clever!
Ubba - yeah i know 8.1 ... it blew me away! I knew he was big, but realy didn't expect him to be that big! hope your MCHN classes went well! I did those classes when kaili was a baby, and met a group of mums who have become incredible friends. 2 years later we all still meet up every tuesday and thursday for a gossip and a play. My life would be so empty without them! so enjoy yourself! x
sarah - i agree with kymmy, where are you? how's that garden going too? You inspired me, i have started a flower garden with kaili, in the old brick bbq. Can't wait for them to bloom, think it would be so cool seeing all these flowers sprout out of an old barbe! hehe
jds mum - hope all is well in your household, and jd and abby are being well behaved!
AFM - Well we tried theo on some farex today!! Sooo excited! haha! As soon as i put it in his mouth he starting making little mm noises, and the fingers went straight in afterwards, was so sweet to watch. are you going to introduce anything else just yet natty? i'm thinking i'll stick to farex, one time, for about a week before i go onto something else, what do you think? he probably had about a teaspoon too! Tomorrow i might try giving it to him at night, see if it helps him sleep longer, cause atm he's waking about 3 times a night hungry
I'll fill you in quickly on the enhanced MCHN. It was effed up. They encouraged CIO/CC which I really didnt like, although Ruby slept there for 1.5 hrs. I said to the nurse it's probably cause she got so tired from crying and she just winked. She also didnt want me to give her a dummy when she went to bed but I ended up getting it for her anyway cause she started getting really upset. I was really glad to leave and was happy she had that big sleep cause it meant she didnt have to cry so hard again. The nurse was saying that I need to let my baby cry and this crying always happens before sleep time. There was 2 other familes there too and their babies cried the whole time. It was a terrible day, I should have left earlier but thought I would give it a chance, DH was there too and Im glad cause I think I would have crumbled if he wasnt there with me.
I'll come back tomorrow, I feel like crap again......
Oh Bec, Thats no good.. I have started reading The same book that Telly is reading about sleeping (How goods that for an explaination, can't remember what it is called!!) and it basically says to think of how you feel when you are upset and frightened and nobody is there to comfort you, thats how a baby feels when left to cry. I think it is so sad! I mean, yeah, they do eventually go off to sleep by themselves but its only cause they've given up on you coming to rescue them from their misery!! Once i've read the book i suppose i'll have better advice to give you but it has given me hope that there is another way..... i just don't know what it is yet! haha! I hope tomorrow is a better day xxx
Telly: Haha! Felt like i needed to catch up but didn't really have much time so it was a very basic post! How exciting re starting solids! I can't wait! I am going to do the BLW thing so i'll wait til Archie shows that he is ready but i can't wait!! I am sure after a couple of days after dealing with the mess of it all i'll be wishing that we just stuck with boobies forever (BITTYYYYYYY!! hahaha) !! But i always look forward to the next exciting chapter!! Sarah you have inspired me too, i am going to buy some seedlings tomorrow to start my own veggie patch!
AFM: There was an accident out the front of a school nearby.. a teacher and a 12 yr old girl were ran down by a ute.. the teacher died and the girl is in a critical condition in PMH with a broken leg and brain haemorrages(sp?).. I've just heard that the girl is my ex-bosses daughter. I feel terrible for her and her family and i really hope she pulls through OK. I will send them a card tomorrow.
hello girls,
im still here, sorry, been reading and to tired to post, lame i know, but i know all you girls understand
telly and kymmy- aawwww i miss you too!
ali- oh i have cried so much for darling willow. oh god. i certainly couldnt keep it together. makes me feel terrible when i scold tully sometimes, thinking i could not have him. what a tough couple. and i hope you are ok too. what a gorgeous girl for going. im sure they were glad to have you support them in this horrible time.
mon- i hope your family is ok with the loss of your grandad. stay strong and remember all the wonderful memories you have x
bec- freakin cc. i hope you are ok. i hope ruby sleeps better however you get her to sleep. Harper has me doing laps around our living room, with her laying in my arms with a dummy! she hates it anyother time- dummy and lying down, but she sooks and this seems to work at the moment. hugs xox
mel- nice to see you again! hope the move went well x
afm-
our garden is going ok i think. might not get enough sun so im worried they might not grow to well. worth a try anyway. you should see tully with his little watering can watering the footpath....he gets the plants some times... and all i hear is "OWWW WOW" he's so cute
Harper is good. Sorry to say not much to report. ok, you can punch me if you like. She is just a really settles baby. happy, feeds, sleeps. generally pretty good. Still bfing well, growing well. 5.8kg at 3 months. nothing to theo! 8.1 telly! Good cow i say he he he x
ill write better and try to include everyone soon,
kisses
x sarah x
Hi Girls - sorry, been MIA for a couple of days! What a week! Thanks for all your lovely words re the funeral. I actually saw the piccies of the little bub yesterday, she was so tiny but very very cute. She just looked like a fully formed baby just tiny, she had a head of black hair too. She looked very peaceful. I found out a little more about the whole thing, apparently the placenta completely detached and the baby was without oxygen for over an hour by the time they got her out so she would have been quite possibly severely brain damaged if she had've survived so very sad either way. Apparently the mum is doing a lot better this week and has come to terms with everything, she just looks as it like Willow had more important things to do and that she was here to bring people together and make new friends. Isn't that lovely.
AFM - I stupidly tried to change my lovely working routine these past 2 days, I really need to stop listening to others! This routine I've been following has always worked and it suggests around 16-20 weeks to dry dropping the "dream feed" and have them in bed earlier, my friend does the same thing and her 5 month old is sleeping 12 hours and has been since she was 4 months old so I thought I'd give it a go. DISASTER CITY!!!!!!! She's quite fine with going 4 hours between feeds anyway - I just upped her amount which I've properly calculated for her weight - she either has 180 mls 5 times a day or 200 mls 4 times a day. Anyway, the first night I tried it she had her last feed at 7.30 pm (instead of the usual 9.00 or 9.30 pm).....she went straight to sleep as usual but woke 5 times through the night, not for food but just doing the whinge before the cry so I was up putting the dummy in all the time which is ridiculous! I was shattered yesterday as I'm not used to it. I didn't want to give up after one night so thought I'd try again, yesterday was fine again up until 5.30 pm when she went to sleep, for 2 hours (she normally sleeps on and off until her 6.00 pm feed but never that long)....I had to wake her at 7.30 pm - 5 hours after her last feed! Anyway, then she fed and didn't want to go back to sleep (normally she'd go to sleep pretty well straight away).....so by the time she went down it was 10.00 pm anyway!!!!!!! She woke 3 times from about 3.00 am on......better than the night before but still she normally goes all night, or only wakes once from about 4.00 am on but sleeps until 7.00 or 8.00 am - today she got up at 6.30 am. So, my point is, I've realised she's just not ready and like DH said, why does it matter if she's having 5 instead of 4 feeds, I know eventually she'll need to go to bed earlier as she gets older and more of a handful but I will do it gradually by bringing her dreamfeed earlier and earlier before eventually dropping it. Obviously cold turkey didn't work. I'd be crap at controlled crying too cause normally she dream feeds and goes to bed asleep but last night I tried putting her down awake...I only lasted 5 minutes before I got her up again lol!!!!!
Sorry for the novel girls, just had to get that all out. Gosh you just never know what the right thing to do is huh. All I know is I'm tired today and even Amelia doesn't look as well rested.
Oh and we are having our professional pics done this arvo.........I've woken up with a big coldsore in the middle of my lip, freaking fantastic!!!!!
Hey all, had the funeral yesterday and took my girls the boys got picked up from my step mum
Got the girls a black dress too were
Went shopping for clothes in the morning and tried on about 20 outfits sz14 and by the end of it I was in tears just wanting to go home (this is why I only have one tiny mirror in my bathroom for my face) found my dress just as I was about to leave which looked nice
Went to the veiwing and I was in tears, my grandad was so cold and stiff and cause he looked so bad before when they made him look nice he didn't quite look like him though they did agreat job, then at the cemetary me, my mum and two uncles walked the coffin in onto the table thing and by the end I was in tears that bad I wanted to curl into a ball and die, and my chest was so sore I was a hysterical mess but once I calmed down things hot a lot better, Rick Steele played at the ceremony then we went back to my grandmas and had a lovely night
Feeling alot better just get very sad sometimes when I miss him
Hi Mon - poor you, I can sympathise after attending the funeral for the baby this week, just awful, depressing, sad all of those emotions. As a singer and lover of acoustic music Rick Steel is great, which song did he do? I'm sure your grandad is in a much happier and healthier place now and he'll be watching over you, you'll see him again one day. Oh and I feel the same about my weight/body, I still can't get my rings on and still have 6kgs on the scales to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I've noticed my tummy going down but nothing shows on the scales. I googled about fluid retention after pregnancy and it does say if you had carpal tunnel you can retain fluid afterwards for a lot longer than normal, and also if you were on IV fluids etc....which I was because of the infection, I had IV antibiotics and fluids for a few days. Grrr, I just want to wear my rings again (especially seeing as we have our photos today) and wear my normal clothes again...I'm battling to get into size 12's and I'm normally a 10. Boooooo.
AFM - I witnessed Amelia roll from her back to her tummy this morning! I was so excited, for the last few days she's been trying and getting frustrated as she couldn't quite make it over and then bang, she did it! I put her on the floor and sat down only to see it out of the corner of my eye. She won't stop doing it now it's hilarious! My baby girl is growing up so fast..........sigh.
I have been MIA for a while too….have been reading but no time to post….
Alison – So sad about the funeral….you are very brave to go….I would have lost it seeing the tiny little coffin…such a sad thing to happen and so unfair….bummer about Amelia’s routine….sounds like you had it down pat!!! I don’t even know how many feed Abbey has a day now…she never finished a bottle in one hit so it’s always in dribs and drabs….
Kymmy – What’s happened with your lovely puppy?? I just saw on FB that he has to find a new home? Did he go after your horse or something? Poor fella…and love that pic of Archie watching the TV….so CUTE!!! Cant believe about that accident…that’s terrible!
Mon – My heart goes out to you for the loss of your Grandad….it will get easier over time, but it’s so hard when it’s fresh…keep your head up and keep talking to your kids about him so they remember him how he was before he got sick…xoxox
Sarah – Glad to hear that Harper is going well…sounds like a dream baby!! Send some of those vibes my way please!!
Ubba – This is probably stupid but what’s MCHN? I know that CC is controlled crying but what is CIO? Were you there overnight or was it just a day thing? Sounds like it was a stressful thing!!??
Telly – 8.1kg!!!! What the hell is that boy getting off you!!! That’s massive – and cute!! Chubby babies are gorgeous!!! A teaspoon sounds so little doesn’t it but it would be a lot for their little bellies hey!
Natty – Glad to hear V is well except for her hiccup the night before last….was she better last night??
Mel – Hope you are going alright and not too sleep deprived like myself….LOVE reading your FB updates – hilarious and always brings a smile to my face and cheers me up!! Keep em coming….PS – We have a noisy cat here too and he cops a boot up the butt from time to time….they can be so persistent and in your face that you just want to hurl them out the back door!! He knows to get out of my way when he hears me coming…
AFM – Well it has been a nightmare lately!!! We had friends down from the Gold Coast which was great with their little girl who has just hit 3 months and it was so nice to see them…she is a cat napper during the day much like Abbey but is a great sleeper at night so that sucked cause Abbey was up all night while Lyla was being a darling….not fair!!! The first night I ended up putting 2 lounge cushions on Abbey’s floor and sleeping on there so I could get to her quickly if she was losing it so I wouldn’t wake them up so I was like a cripple the next day….I have never felt back pain like that…it was sooo bad….luckily it has nearly all gone now thank god!!
Anyway, I noticed this morning when I was brushing Abbey’s hair behind her left ear she squealed in pain when I touched her ear so I left it a little bit and did it again and the same thing happened….it didn’t look red but I noticed a bit of discharge (which I first thought was just wax) so I took her to the Dr and it turns out she has an ear infection….poor little thing….I hope she hasn’t had this for the last couple of weeks and has been suffering all this time…I feel like a terrible mother…plus I have given up BF and I feel so guilty and sad about that….I didn’t think I would feel like that cause I was sure I wasn’t going to BF at all but since we had such a good 4 months of it now that it’s over I miss it…..she was rejecting me constantly and my supply wasn’t good on the L side in the end so she is on formula now….
JD has been not too bad lately, still not listening to me when we are at the shops and taking off etc but other than that he’s pretty good. The poor fella is petrified of me though I think….he dropped his fork last night when we were eating tea and as soon as he looked at me he went ‘sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry it was an accident’ – he must think I’m an ogre to carry on like that when something goes wrong….
Hi Kymmy - yes, why are you getting rid of your doggie, he/she is so cute, is it a staffy? Looks like one, I'm a massive staffy lover.
Hi Shayna - poor Abbey, ear infections are painful, she must be a tough little cookie. Don't beat yourself up, you weren't to know - I did the same the other day with Amelia having a rash under the fold where her neck touches her chest. I felt terrible all day but it's not like we deliberately neglected them and she'll be fine now you know what's wrong. Your BF'ing story sounds exactly the same as mine, I'm about to give up expressing, now that I've stopped the 1 BF a day thanks to Amelia rejecting me from a low supply as well, I'm now expressing about 5mls a day, 5 mls girls can you believe it!!!!! DH says he doesn't know why I bother and I'm starting to feel the same. I'll also be interested to see if stopping will help my fluid retention, I STILL can't get my wedding rings on. You might find now she's on formula she'll start sleeping through, is your friend's baby on formula or fully breastfed? I don't think I know anyone who is fully breastfeeding and having their bubs sleeping through without a feed at the moment but I'm sure there are. Just goes to show there's pros and cons for both, oh to have both at the same time, being able to fully breastfeed would be wonderful, I would love it, I still feel guilty formula feeding truth be told but I just have no choice. Amelia goes 10 hours which is great, the last 2 days of having to get up a few times to put the dummy in has killed me and made me realise how great it is to have her in a routine. Every person and every baby is different but it's great for me as I don't think I could handle the lack of sleep for this long a time! Keep me posted on how she goes and I hope she settles for you soon - it won't last forever and you'll feel a million bucks in no time! The main thing is Abbey sounds like she's growing fantastically - I think her and Amelia would be around the same weight, Amelia was 6.3 a couple of weeks ago. And let's face it, how can you be mad at her little face, she's so adorable and I just love her hair, Amelia is jealous! xx
Hi Shayna, a question is never stupid if you dont know the answer! MCHN stands for Maternal & Child Health Nurse, CIO stands for Cry It Out and yeah CC is Controlled Crying. It was a day stay thing, 9am - 2pm.
Don't worry about JD taking off at the shops, Luke still does it and he is 4 1/2 I bribe him now and it sometimes works but I have to keep reminding him. Sounds like you are having a tough time keeping your cool at home too if he was saying sorry sorry.... Could a day of childcare be an option? Not sure how much it wil cost but it will give him a break from you and Abby and you a break from him. Nothing wrong with needing a break from our kids. I used to put Luke in Child Care for a day a week for the same reasons, I would get really stressed out and find myself not liking him very much sometimes I realise now that it was his behaviour I wasn't dealing with, not actually him - I love my boy. Now he is at kinder 2 mornings and 2 arvos a week our relationship is beautiful. He gets the opportunity to play with his mates and muck around without having to hear me coming down on him for not puting his toys away (mainly because I am so tired). You;ll work it out anyway xxx
Al- Hope you can get back into your old routine. Your DH is right, what does it matter if she has 4 or 5 feeds? You'll get back into your rings, hope you could cover up your coldsore bloody things I hate them grrr.
He played forever young which is a song he dedicated to my grandparents ages ago when he had a retirement party for his friends and close family, they've known him for 20 odd years
Still quite sad but life goes on but then I feel bad cos my life is going on and I feel like his death shouldve made a bigger impact to me
) we all had a hold. I remember going there the next day to the hospital and cradling this tiny baby in my arms (tiny comnpared to my huge bubbas!) and just rocking and rocking and wishing she would come back to life - it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through - and it wasn't even my baby! I can't imagine how they are feeling, the pain of losing a baby is just so huge, you just can't describe it. I have a picture of phoebe in my wardrobe (like, on a dresser thing) so every time I open it to get clothes out I see her beautiful sleeping face and am reminded that my children are the most precious little beings - and I should rejoice in the fact that they are with me - because I'm so blessed to have them ya know?
Wow, your sister is a strong girl, how do you move on from something like that? Has she had another since or was it recent? You have to wonder why these things happen, to happen the day of her c-section, you'd be forever thinking if only they did it the day before etc etc. So devastating. I think it's beautiful you have a pic of her on your dresser. It's kind of why I want to see a picture of this little one, so I can put a face to the name, especially now I have her hand print which I will keep for Amelia to look back on one day. It certainly makes you appreciate even more what you have huh! xx
how's that garden going too? You inspired me, i have started a flower garden with kaili, in the old brick bbq. Can't wait for them to bloom, think it would be so cool seeing all these flowers sprout out of an old barbe! hehe
Oh and I feel the same about my weight/body, I still can't get my rings on and still have 6kgs on the scales to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I've noticed my tummy going down but nothing shows on the scales. I googled about fluid retention after pregnancy and it does say if you had carpal tunnel you can retain fluid afterwards for a lot longer than normal, and also if you were on IV fluids etc....which I was because of the infection, I had IV antibiotics and fluids for a few days. Grrr, I just want to wear my rings again (especially seeing as we have our photos today) and wear my normal clothes again...I'm battling to get into size 12's and I'm normally a 10. Boooooo.
I realise now that it was his behaviour I wasn't dealing with, not actually him - I love my boy. Now he is at kinder 2 mornings and 2 arvos a week our relationship is beautiful. He gets the opportunity to play with his mates and muck around without having to hear me coming down on him for not puting his toys away (mainly because I am so tired). You;ll work it out anyway xxx
Bookmarks