This is indelicate, but one of the things that really hurt after a tear was going to the toilet for "number 2's", I was really glad my Mum had been around because she told me to change posture, keep my legs together and raise my hips forward a little, THEN push - so as not to put any pressure on the tear.
I can't believe the nurses didn't cover something so basic for after-care.

Kerrie