Thanks heaps for the replies everyone. I too don't think the move will fix everything right now - we considered moving a few times but here's the thing, if we move closer to the city, we move further away from my DP's lovely parents, who have been our main source of any support, so that would reduce. My friends and family don't travel up this way, only on the odd occasion to see me, so its not going to improve that side of it. Yes could potentially make new friends in a new town (some around here are no good/too small also), and that would also mean pulling kids out of school too, when they've just settled into a great school in another town 20-30 mins away - but we can't live there sadly, its a military base. Such great community there.
So it feels like such a pickle. We'll be here another 1-2 years before moving, because we haven't been able to find a 4 bedroom house to rent or buy here, so ended up buying some land at a great price and the build will start soon, cheaper than buying and renovating any 3-4 bedroom house around here. We desperately need a bigger place, its seriously tiny and 3 kids + 1 baby + 2 adults urgh.
There is apparently a mothers group around here, includes a mash of a teenager through to a mum in her 40's. I know I sound terribly judgmental but even just riding the bus one time, walking the streets, going grocery shopping - the parenting scares me. I feel so badly for so many kids around here and even feel sad thinking about what the poor MCHN's have to deal with. They are super awesome MCHN's - one once a midwife herself who had to transfer her own homebirth. But yeah, resource wise, there just isn't much. And it has been building resent in me (ridiculously) hearing my partner talk about the jokes, convos and relationships he has with his customers over the last 9 or how many years. We can't go out anywhere around here and someone stops him for a convo and I always end up feeling the third wheel.
I don't know how to explain this well to my partner as I have tried already, but he could understand and just not know how to fix it. I don't either, unless it means moving back to the city in 2 years. But then he will be away from his family too, and every fortnight on Fri PM and Sun PM have a 6 hour drive round trip to drop off and pick up his son who has shared care. All feels very tricky and I don't want to sound demanding.
I know this is very complicated, sorry
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