What would make you want more sex after having a baby?

[HotI]

Sleep
Time doing my stuff (sewing or studying) without having to juggle kids at same time
More Alone time

First time around was different, i was dealing with effects of being assaulted during the birth, and so none of the above would have made a difference. I needed to feel absolutely no pressure, and reclaim/assert ownership of my body and feel good myself before i was able to share myself (with anybody but baby).

[RainbowRiver]

Alot more alone time and better self esteem

[TaRhLi.]

Sleep is No 1 for me. I'm shattered at the end of the day after dealing with 3 very active children and doing housework, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, washing, ironing etc that by the time it's bedtime it's sleep for me.

I would also feel more receptive to Dh is he realised that I work hard everyday and that it is 24/7 no break from the kids, he has the advantage of going to work and then comes home to dinner on the table, the house in order and little to worry about but play with the kids. He keeps telling me he would swap as I have it easy compared to what he has to deal with everyday at work - so a bit more appreciation wouldn't go unrewarded IYKWIM.

Also time on my own - I don't count grocery shopping as alone time - not having to think about what I would come home to would be great as well. If I do happen to do something for myself I walk in the door and the house is like a bomb has exploded with food and mess everywhere which Dh knows I can't stand. Really if I can manage to keep the house tidy each and everyday, how hard is it to tidy after the kids have trashed a room and then gone off to destroy another room.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I voted sleep.

But I'm really not sure it was my top answer. I would appreciate having to do less (so more help) which would lead to more sleep. I would appreciate more alone time so I could go to the gym and improve my self-esteem and energy levels. And some of it is simply that if he stopped the horny attitude maybe i would be more interested but when the attitude is sex-oriented rather than affection-oriented it honestly put me off straight away.

I am also struggling with needing my own time and space to make the decision and think that is to do with birth crap too.

Beansbeans post really resonates with me also.

[kateo]

I said more affection and touch.......he seems to have transfered that to our LO....not that I mind but I'd like some too.
I would also feel more "in the mood" if he recognised that being home all day and running my small business as well as keeping house and farm together and looking after LO is equal or more hard work than a full time job.
I would be a lot more "encouraging" to advances if I had the same number of hours a week to dedicate to my hobby as he dedicates to his hobby..........it seems my work on the week-end is the same as his "playtime" on the week-end........

[Astrid]

Can't really answer one. For me it is understanding, the rest kind of flows on from there. Understanding that I am tired, touched out, overwhelmed by housework etc I suppose acknowledgement of what life is like at that point in time.

[~ Mylitta ~]

Ok, I'll admit it. If my hubby looked a bit more like Will Smith I'd jump him more often