Debate - Raising your kids with religion

[Maruschke]

There is no need to respond to perceived offense with offense.

[Rouge]

I agree. Whilst I tried to point out that I thought some comments were offensive, name calling is not necessary. I can see why topics like this rile people up, but really we don't need to be nasty to each other. State your claim fine but leave it there.

Just my 2c.

Boobaloo, I really don't think this thread should be turned into a thread about arguing over opinion (and I'm not one for quoting and pulling apart posts), but if you feel the need I'm happy to discuss it further with you privately

Maybe we should try to get back on topic.

And if anyone feels that something specifically in this thread is offensive or a personal attack please remember the little red and white icon to the top right of every post is the report function and everyone is entitled to use it. And if a moderator feels it is inappropriate it shall be edited.

[boobaloo]

niliac, i stated my opinion in my first post, and i complied within what the thread was about. i have recieved comments made about my opinions and have since defended them, as is my right to do so - i have not tried to make this thread a battle of opinions, i've simply defended my own.

[Ballerina]

Okay - modified to accommodate all audiences.

I'm off to make some milk

[Maruschke]

Just wondering if there are any of us, who as a CHILD, practiced a different religion to their parents? Or while living with their parent, practiced a different religion to their parent, and whether any issued arised???

[suse]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

FWIW - I ask this question genuinely out of curiosity, it is not intended to challenge anyone's beliefs. The reason I ask is because I am atheist, whereas my family, particularly my grandparents, are staunch practising Christians. Despite their own strong personal faith and their adherence to the teachings of the Bible, they accept and respect my atheism without challenge, and I have often wondered how they are able to do this within the context of their teachings.

[Nelle]

Ladies, particularly in areas as potentially emotive as this, we need to post respectfully, without aggression. Let's lift the tone, and continue to move on with a productive discussion. xo

[LimeSlice]

oscar - I practiced a different religion to my parents...but as I said earlier, neither of them were overly religious to begin with, dad certainly wasn't.
Mum was quite Catholic, and had very little understanding of/for or interest in learning about anything else...so I chose not to talk about it too much. I didnt need her understanding or approval, and I actually quite liked the thought that nobody knew much about what I believed


Will be back alter to address other things

[AnnaChas]

Just wondering if there are any of us, who as a CHILD, practiced a different religion to their parents? Or while living with their parent, practiced a different religion to their parent, and whether any issued arised???

I can't say that I knew anyone who had a different religion to their parents. I have to say, this was never an option for me. I actually didn't even think about other religions/belief systems until I left home. One of my parents was (and still is) quite anti-Islam/Muslim. It irks me so much how intolerant she can be and still preach to be a good Catholic.

[butterfly_warrior]

Suse, you are correct in that Christianity does teach that the only way to be saved is to accept Jesus as saviour and follow him.

I can't speak for your family, but if Sam were to grow up and reject Christianity... while I may be able to show outward acceptance, there would be a great deal of inward grief and I would not stop praying for him to change his mind. Christians have this sneaky habit of praying behind your back, you see, and I'm sure that's the reason I ended up becoming a Christian myself.

BW

[christy]

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

Okay. Now I believe that salvation comes through Jesus yes. I also believe that if one of my children, chooses on their own to believe something else, or do not have faith I will probably be a bit sad in their choice (being TOTALLY honest and raw here everyone) but it is possible to reconcile their choice and be supportive. Because, as I said in my earlier post that got totally ignored (again see my point, it is all about me!) my truth in my beliefs is that God has called us to love, above all else. To me and not to be trying to bible beat etc etc, but Jesus said "They will know who you are for your love for each other" didn't just mean other Christians, but other people. Jesus loved others from other walks in life, he demonstrated that pretty clearly... so if we don't do that, we aren't truely following him. So I may be sad to not be sharing this with them would be just that, it will not mean I don't express love to them, the way they need it.

ETA: oscaroscar, DH was faced with a huge amount of opposition from his father for following Christianity.... and continued to face that opposition until his father passed away last year.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

For me, yes that is true - I believe that my salvation can ONLY be secured my putting faith in Jesus' ransom sacrifice, and following the Bible to the end.

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith? [/QUOTE]

While I don't have a child, I do have 2 sisters that have chosen a different path - one of which is on BB and may or may not make an appearance in this thread But I have had to come to terms with the fact that according to my religion, there will come a time when she is no longer here. While I desperately wish she would come back to our religion, I respect her as a person, and respect that she has made her own choice. Believe me, if she ever decided to come back I would one of the first to help her, right behind my parents I think! But forcing someone to believe defeats the purpose, and proves nothing.

The only problem I have with reconciling her choice is that I don't understand how we could've been brought up in the same household, and have gotten such different ideas, or understandings on the Bible - but I guess it comes down to personal perspectives

I hope I've helped answer your question Suse, and if I've caused anyone offence, please PM me

[Eugenia]

Suse, my personal take on this question would be that I would not want to drive my child or grandchild away from me and if discussing religion would do that then I would leave the topic alone. That does not mean that I would be happy with their choice, I would probably be devastated that they have chosen to reject what I believe to be the only way to salvation and have therefore chosen eternal death (OK people, just stating what I believe, no judgement intended). Nevertheless I would continue to love them. Oh yeah, and also pray very hard that their eyes might open and they would return to the faith they were brought up in.

[Maruschke]

Interesting thread!

I have a question which relates to a point that BW made - that in some faiths the prospect of salvation is intrinsically linked to the following of one's faith (I hope my understanding of this is right, but my understanding is that in Christian faiths one cannot attain salvation without knowing Jesus - is that correct?).

My question is, having raised your child according to your faith - what happens if they, of their own choice, decide to follow a different path, one without faith? A path that still follows the principles and morality that your faith teaches, the only difference being that they do not have faith. How do you reconcile this? Is it possible to reconcile your child's choice and be supportive of it whilst remaining true to one's own faith?

FWIW - I ask this question genuinely out of curiosity, it is not intended to challenge anyone's beliefs. The reason I ask is because I am atheist, whereas my family, particularly my grandparents, are staunch practising Christians. Despite their own strong personal faith and their adherence to the teachings of the Bible, they accept and respect my atheism without challenge, and I have often wondered how they are able to do this within the context of their teachings.

This is where I hoped the thread would go. I am a christian. If my child did not follow christian beliefs, then according to the bible, I would have to conclude that s/he is not saved. This would break my heart and cause much anguish! However, I am aware that I cannot force or cause my child's salvation, I can only share my faith with them and pray. Given this inability, I would love and cherish my child, and do whatever I could to keep them in my life, having them know they were loved, and hope that my life would eventually show them the truth and convert them. What else could I do? Failing to accept them and love them would probably push them further away from the religion I believe to be true, because I have been a bad witness. However, I would have to love and accept them, without accepting their beliefs.

I understand that this is different to the approach that Deb (FC) outlined she has for her children. (No judgement on you Deb, I just have a different opinion here ). I guess this means that at times, the house rules that I set down, and the behaviour that I accept, would clash with my daughters free will (if she chose not to follow my beliefs).

crying baby brb...

[Rouge]

I grew up with atheist parents, and I followed up christianity on my own. I went to church, they did not. At one point the minister and his family would pick me up on the way to church. I am no longer christian but even though they weren't they never stopped me. They never made me feel my faith at the time was wrong. And I am very grateful because they taught me to appreciate all religions, and never ever made me feel as though atheism was the only way.

[Maruschke]

oscar - I practiced a different religion to my parents...but as I said earlier, neither of them were overly religious to begin with, dad certainly wasn't.
Mum was quite Catholic, and had very little understanding of/for or interest in learning about anything else...so I chose not to talk about it too much. I didnt need her understanding or approval, and I actually quite liked the thought that nobody knew much about what I believed


Will be back alter to address other things

It never even occured to me that DD1 wouldn't share her faith with me. Doh! How young were you when you decided to follow and practice a religion other than your parents?

[suse]

Thank you everyone for such honest and heartfelt answers.

One thing that my grandma said (we have discussed this in some depth), that has always resonated with me, is that 'that's why they call it faith - it's either something you feel inside or you don't.' She is very comfortable with her own faith, it guides her and strengthens her, but she has never expressed any sadness (either outwardly or by allusion) that I do not share her faith, only gladness that I have my own sources of comfort to see me through difficult times. So I have often wondered how she manages to reconcile this - perhaps she too does struggle with it internally but is very good at not showing it

Christy, the passage that you have quoted perhaps is something that also resonates strongly with my grandma - she is very good at loving without barriers.

[AngelPunks]

Just wondering if there are any of us, who as a CHILD, practiced a different religion to their parents? Or while living with their parent, practiced a different religion to their parent, and whether any issued arised???

I did, my mother (and grandmother) had turned their backs on their pagan heritage (even though my mother was one of the most spiritual people I knew and had some amazing power), so I grew up with Mum & Granny being CoE, dragging me along to church (youth group was the *bomb* - the best time, hot boys, drinking, smoking, great friends), heck I was even an altar girl - it gave me an understanding of the christian path, my SIL was also catholic so I used to get dragged to church with her family when I used to visit on holidays - I love the totally pagan rituals in the catholic church (also in the high anglican churches) - which has probably lead to my current pull towards ceremonial/high magic. I've always followed my path, it has seemed totally "right" to me, as I've gotten older more things have been opened to me, more of my power becoming available, teachers arriving when I need them (like my GD group and I'm also about to start doing some sex magic)