Is there a place for me?

[Shades]

I've been thinking a lot lately about being a good person and how being in a community of people who have the same goal to be good people can help one stay on track. I've been feeling quite alone and feel there's a lack in my life of the community part of that. The obvious fit would be a church of some sort but I don't subscribe to a particular religious belief. I personally believe that what people think of as God is a force that's made up of our actions in life, what we send out. So if we send out good and do good then that's a kind of prayer asking the universe to help out a little when we need good done to us in return. It's kind of like paying it forward all the time and having faith that when we need the help we give out then it will come back to us. I know that's probably a little too mercenary a take on it for most people but for me I have trouble accepting help unless I think I truly deserve it by having earned it in some way. So it's not quite the selfless good that it seems most religions aim for.
Does that make me a bad person? It's not that I only do good with the expectation that it results in me receiving in return later but more that I think if you are a good person then you will draw more good to you. Does that distinction make a difference to anyone else? I guess it's also that I feel it is unfair to expect good to be done toward you if you don't make the effort to do good to others.
Anyhow back to my original point - how likely is it do you think that there is a community of like-minded people out there that I could find and join. I don't like all the fanfare and trappings and tradition of the organized religions I've come across, but I feel the lack of something, a desire to be a part of a bigger something, I need to feel more connected to something I think. But what? I can't go to church as I don't believe in the Bible as such, just some of its general messages and teachings on what it means to be moral and good. I couldn't call myself a Christian as my beliefs stand. I also believe in a kind of karma but I'm not sure about all the rest of the stuff that goes along with it... I am very suspicious of stories about religious origins that claim to be fact and where you have to learn a set history in order to be part of that religion.
Is there no religion of being good just because you should be? Not because God says so, or some other deity, or because you won't move forward to a goal of enlightenment or reincarnation or something else? Just being good for the sake of making the world a better place to be in?
Am I missing it because I'm trying to give it the wrong name by calling it a religion?
What am I looking for??

[LionsandBears]

You could try the Humanist Society, Secular Humanists or even an Ethics centre.

Buddhism as a philosophy would work, rather than Buddhism as religion. A lot of the religious rituals can help with meditation and getting in the right head space. I dont know if there's a group for secular buddhists.

Personally, I call what you describe below being ethical. I dont know what the organised athiests believe. I see that as a religion in itself. Which spoils it for the rest of us.

I can recommend to you works by Peter Singer, a renowned ethicist. See if that fits.

[Shades]

Thanks for your response. I hadn't considered ethics societies etc, so thanks for that direction - it does sound like a potential fit.
I didn't know you could be Buddhist in philosophy but not religion - how does that work - I mean what would the difference be between the two approaches? Or is that a distinction that would become clearer if I looked further into Buddhism?

[Shades]

I have just had a brief look into humanism as well and I have to say a huge thank you for pointing me to it, I've only scraped the surface of course but at first glance it seems like a great step in the direction I think I was after so thank you so much for that!

[LionsandBears]

I've never looked into it in much detail but there's so much I take from the little buddhism I've read. I think even Buddha said do not believe me, look into it yourself. Or something like that. Buddha is not a god, he was an enlightened soul sent to guide others. People, being people, created a religion from it. But then religion is a man made construct, created to try to bring order to chaos and control thought.

Like you, I dont see the point of behaving in a way to win brownie points towards either an afterlife or another life. Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. When that gets tricky, think it through, discuss, reason. Dont go making up some mumbo jumbo to justify yourself. As you can probably tell, I dont see the point of religion at all. I think true morality is irreligious. I could rant on about it for ages.

As few times, I've thought about finding a like minded group. The athiests irritate me. I find them narrow minded. The closest I found was ethics or secular humamism or whatever it's called. I never 'joined' anything. I'm too uncomfortable with group think. I did go to a Budfhist temple occassionally years ago. It was peaceful and helped during a time of stress. I didnt adopt it as a religion though.

Any religion could be treated as a philosophy, so long as you dont get caught by the 'rules'. I'm happy to learn from any of them. I just wont worship anything.

Glad the suggestion about humanism helped. I hope you find it useful.

[Shades]

I'm happy to learn from any of them. I just wont worship anything.

I think this is what it comes down to for me as well.
The humanism stuff seems to provide the philosophy and belief side of it for me but from what I'm seeing now they're a little too intellectual, independent and impersonal when it comes to the community support side of it, if that makes sense. Or maybe it's that they are just far too big a community to provide the sort of personal support and relationships I think I'm looking for.

[LionsandBears]

That's probably what I found too. Though I never went to anything, so for all I know, they do do stuff as a community. I even looked up the athiests, but they just seem to whinge about religion. Where's the positive support and influence there?

A good way to get community support is through volunteering. It doesnt have to be through a religious organisation though I have volunteered through a few and I just respect their beliefs and get on with things. I'm pretty sure Care Australia is secular. Places like the Guide Dogs are good causes without a religious bent. Voluntary work I've done over the years includes palliative care, detox, needle exchange, counselling.

Personally, I stay away from the political causes. Not the kind of energy I need in my life.

It's possibly still worth contacting the humanists to see what they do and what they offer. Otherwise there may be the equivalent of Apex/Rotary for young women.

[meow]

Perhaps you would find good community support/vibe within an environmental/hippie style group? Like joining a permaculture/permablitz group, or african drumming or yoga? Some of those groups get right into frequent meetups, community activities, conversations about doing good and living happily. I know I was following a permablitz group online and their blitz photos seemed to show a cohesive community that was into helping each other out and sharing food and music after a good days work.

[Arimeh]

I was once confused about the religious direction I was taking, and where I fit in with my beliefs, so DH found a test online that you took and it told you where your belief structure fit in the best. So maybe google for a test or something and see what it comes out at? I was surprised when it told me that instead of being mostly buddhist, I was in fact more in line with being a neopagan. Which I researched, because I knew nothing about it, and yup thats where I fit.

Not that I do anything at the moment within that area, but having it there helps me if anyone needs a definition of what I believe in ITMS?

[Shades]

Hmm I just tried the Beliefnet test, seemed quite comprehensive, it came up with Secular Humanism so I guess that's a confirmation for me I wish they seemed more ... friendly though.

[LionsandBears]

I just did it too. Turns out I am UU/ neo-pagan. Not a surprise, though the difinition for UU is murky. Bit of this, bit of that. Like my 'beliefs'

I hope you find a space to belong. It may be you need a few spaces. Just as one person in your life cannot provide all your needs, one community can't either. The humanists may be more intellectual than nurturing, but if you also find a nurturing space you may find the balance you need. Reach out and give things a go.

You will find where you belong. It will just take a bit of trial and error.

[TeniBear]

Hmm, the quiz said UU for me but my second-place answer (Theravada Buddhism) sounds more along the lines of my beliefs

[Shades]

Thanks everyone.