When your beliefs are different to family/friends...

[Heaven]

Thankyou very much for your post Ryn, it's exactly what I think. I would never be so disrespectful as to trick someone b/c I didn't agree with their beliefs or tell them I thought their beliefs were wrong/silly. I don't really care if ppl have different beliefs to me as long as they're happy.

I tried to start writing about the not eating pork thing but I was not making any sense or explaining myself well, lol, so I found an article on it instead that explains much better than I could here I haven't read all of it tho coz it's pretty long!! But I think it gives the idea.
Basically there's two views on different parts of scripture and what they mean regarding if the food laws were abolished or not. There was heaps of articles on it when I googled.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Thanks for that, SaraJane, that was an interesting read. Certainly something to think about.

I don't eat pig meat anyway - the odd bit of meat I do eat is mostly fish or beef for the Sunday roast - but something to think about for my son, who eats pretty much everything. I do eat prawns so will be poring over those Bible verses this weekend to make sure they check out when taken in context!

[Heaven]

Yeah, I didn't eat much pork before anyway and then after reading stuff like that the stuff about how gross pigs can be was enough to put me off anyway, lol. But I love prawns and calamari Oh well.

[Lulu]

Maybe you could announce to everyone that you are now following the Duck God. Wear only orange on Tuesdays and insist they take their shoes off and turn around anti-clockwise before they enter you house. Wave your arms around chanting to 'cleanse their auras' as they enter.
Set up a little table in the corner and place random objects such as your hairbrush, blender and some vacuum cleaner bags on there. Surround them with candles.
If there is a family function you don't want to go to, tell your family you cant possibly go as its Sacred Purple Day.

A few months of this and they will be relieved when you tell them you got bored with it and have decided to go back to normal and never give you crap about it again.....

[studentmum]

DH and I are seventh day adventist (sda) christians. This is something that has come from DH's family and my family are all athiests (although they may say otherwise when asked... I believe in something??? That kind of thing)

Anyway, main things about sda's we don't drink alcohol, don't eat unclean meat (pork, seafood w/out scales), and being adventists for the seventh day we observe the Sabbath on a Saturday. Try explaining this to a judgemental family who thinks you've been brainwashed by the new boyfriend!!

So after 8.5yrs I think they are starting to accept my choices, although deep down they probably still think i'm nuts!

The hardest part about personal beliefs is when you feel like you have to defend them, they are personal and therefore not up for negotiation with friends or family that's hardest part for them to understand.

Anyone who takes a stand and goes against the grain to follow their heart and their faith - GOOD ON YOU!!!

[Heaven]

Ryn- would be interested to hear what you think whenever you look into that article more thoroughly (even if you don't agree and why, like to hear all perspectives!)

Lulu-

Sarah-

The hardest part about personal beliefs is when you feel like you have to defend them, they are personal and therefore not up for negotiation with friends or family that's hardest part for them to understand.

Totally agree!!!!!!! I don't see why people should have to defend their beliefs to family who don't agree, non of their business!!

[AngelPunks]

I'm a card carrying pagan & witch and my family have just had to deal with it over the years. My brother & his wife's family are all staunch catholics and they've learnt that I will sit there quietly during "prayer" before meals but I will not join in (well I do my own dedication of the food), that if they come to my place for dinner then they get to listen to my dedication to the God/dess for the food. I will also go to church with them and if pushed will have an in-depth conversation over the pagan imagery & iconry the service just had (their parish priests have learnt NOT to sit next to me at a dinner after church!).

In saying that, my children (when I have them) will probably end up going to a catholic school & I will teach them about other religions as they are growing up, so they can make their own choices - even though they will be of a hereditary blood line & will be taught that lineage & about their inherited power, but I won't push them, I will allow them to chose their own paths.

I'm lucky that my closest friends are of similar paths to me, and even if they don't follow a lot of the things that I do, they are more tollerant. For example - before a ritual I chose to fast for a few hours, whereas they will eat before a ritual - they don't push me to eat anymore but will allow me to save food from the first feasting to have after ritual.

[krysalyss]

Well it isn't a religion but it does indicate a difference in some fundamental beliefs - we are vegetarian and almost everyone else in our group of family/friends eat meat. My SIL was vegetarian and still doesn't eat a lot of meat. Mostly people are very respectful of our choices to be vegetarian and raise our son that way. We do get some comments especially regarding what a vegetarian actually is. And sometimes my mum makes a few comments that make us feel like we are being difficult. We also avoid conversations about meat eating as some people get very offended by us being non-meat eaters even though I don't think we push our views onto anyone else. If they ask us directly then we are honest. We get questions about why we don't eat meat from our friend's kids and we try and answer honestly without disrespecting the fact that their family eats meat. So like any difference of opinion you can get along just fine or you can try and change each other and have lots of clashes. I think presence or lack or respect determines how you all get along - not necc the difference of opinion.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Joining late but still wanting to join this interesting thread!

Being a JW we have a lot of 'controversial' beliefs, but I think the worst one is no blood transfusions. It's one that few people actually bother to ask about, all they see is headlines screaming 'Jehovah's Witness allows son/daughter to die for God!' - which can be SO frustrating.

Most of my family is quite good about tolerating others beliefs, as we have quite a few different beliefs in the family. There are one or two who are quite outspoken about JW's only, but you soon learn who you can talk to and who's gonna give you high blood pressure!

[NaeNae]

Interesting thread.

DH and I have VERY different beliefs. He is Christian and I am - well I like to pick and chose the bits of anything I like and create my own

I was brought up Christian but we never went to church with my parents for anything but when we went to Nan and grandpas place we'd go to the Seventh Day Adventist church they were apart of, but was always uninterested in the teachings

When kids come along they will be brought up with good morals and values and thats whats most inportant and when they are old enough to choose for themselves then we will support whatever choice they make.

I must say Dh does go to a 9pm mass each chrissy eve and often plays at his local churches family service as a "fill in" . I go along to the Christmas service but thats where i draw the line. I get tired of listening to the "old school" minister babble on and once a year is enough for me

[widdly]

this is an interesting thread.

I was bought up abd baptised Catholic, and we went to church every Sunday and did first communion, confirmation and went to Sunday School once a week. I loved being involved with the church and all the lovely people there, they were like family. However, when i was 12 my parents divorced and mum and us kids moved to a new town. I think Mum lost her faith and we didn't ever go to church again.

Over the years I have half heartedly gone to Catholic church on the occasional Sunday, but the mass just seemed so morbid, boring and out dated and it felt a bit too much like hard work and a bit pointless.

Last month DS, DH and I spent 2 weeks in Adelaie and while there I found a Playgroup to go aong to twice a week. The people who ran the playgroup were the most beautiful, lovely caring people I have ever come accross, the Playgroup was run by the Uniting Church. I felt so welcome and loved there that I have thought about going alng to our local Uniting Church, but felt a bit weird at the thought of going to a Church that isn't Catholic. So I did lots of reading about the Uniting Church and it seems that it is very much following the Catholic Church but is a lot more modern and fun for kids. Please correct me if im wrong. Anyway I have decided to go along to mass in the morning and check it out, they also have a kids night tomorrow night which I'd love to take DS to.

Sorry i think i am way off the OP, but wanted to discuss religion and this seems a good place to start