I am having a really hard time with me last MC. It has been almost 2 months and I feel very alone. My DF has been great, but it seems like he is over the baby, and I am just not. I have friends who have had MC's, yet still feel very alone. I'm not sure how to make myself feel better. I don't cry and I'm not 'depressed', yet I know that I do not feel like myself. I do have good days where I don't feel quite so bad, but my DF is a Fire Fighter so I am alone alot which makes it hard not to think... Any ideas how to make myself feel good (normal) again??
I wish I could tell you about a was a magic cure for a broken heart but unfortunately time is they only thing that will help in mending it.
It is totally normal for you to still be grieving your loss. People deal with it differently. Cry when you need to, yell when you need to. There is no shame in your sadness. Maybe get onto the miscarriage and loss threads and talk about exactly what you are feeling..it may help.
I don't know if I will ever 'get over' my loss...but I can tell you time makes it easier to deal with.
I think you need to go through all those emotions and that they are part of a process. You might never actually 'get over it' but that's ok, you may just come to accept it. Don't rush yourself and put pressure on yourself.
Perhaps your DF senses that you're still not yourself but feels like he needs to be strong for you. Men are real problem solvers and he might see 'getting on' with things as his way of helping you - that is, if you see that he is strong he might just assume you'll go to him when you need to. Does that make any sense?
I think keeping busy and having your own interests are really important. they give you a sense of self-worth and purpose, and thats something every woman, especially a grieving one, needs.
Take care of yourself and plough through it, it'll get easier
All the best
xx
Hey loopy--It's such a struggle to find yourself after the loss of a child. I knew as soon as I had my m/c that I wouldn't be happy until I was pregnant again. I think in my case that TTC has helped keep my mind occupied and has given me a small reprieve from the craziness that I was feeling inside my own mind. I, too, find myself alone a lot with nothing much to do but think about what could've been. My saving grace are the women here at BB, and I mean that from my heart! Everyday they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cry, but I have found such comfort and support from everyone that I've met here. I think it helps when you surround yourself with people who just KNOW where you're coming from, and they know how to support you because they've survived the same trauma and gut wrenching loss that you have. And you get the opportunity to support other women, as well, which definitely helps take your mind off yourself and your own grief. When you're ready to begin TTC, I would love it if you joined the TTC after M/C thread. I promise you'll feel cared about and supported unconditionally! Hang in there loopy!
I will most def. move to the TTC once I'm ready. But I don't know when that will be. I would love to try again soon, but have lost going on and know that it would be better to wait. I really wanted that baby... not just A baby... I hope that I"m makeing since.
I also had another questions: I didn't know the sex of my baby yet, I felt that it was going to be a boy but my DF believed that it was going to be a girl. I had names picked out for both sexes... I still like the names that i picked out however, I feel that they are not used. I guess my question is, should i pick new names for my future children or would it be ok to use the names that I already had picked out??
loopy--It makes complete sense, and I completely understand. Every woman is ready at different times, and you'll know when that perfect time is for you!
I think the decision with the names is completely your own. I saw one woman on here that incorporated the names of her two into the name of her DS. My thought on it was that it's an honor no matter what--and it's no different than people that name their child after their mother or grandmother, etc.. You'll know that, too, when the time is right and your looking at your beautiful baby--you'll know what his/her name should be. Good luck whenever you're ready!
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into the name of her DS. My thought on it was that it's an honor no matter what--and it's no different than people that name their child after their mother or grandmother, etc.. You'll know that, too, when the time is right and your looking at your beautiful baby--you'll know what his/her name should be. Good luck whenever you're ready!
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