Anyone else had an ectopic?

[ClareBear28]

Hi ,

I would really like to chat with some other mothers that have experienced an ectopic pregnancy, in particular anyone who has also lost an ovary and fallopian tube. It's nearly one week on for me, and I'm hoping for some advice about recovery - I'm so tired and am having trouble sleeping as I was cut open under my tummy. I am also having trouble going to the loo (for number 2s) with a fair bit of cramping - any tips?

[MeredithD]

Clare - I am so sorry for your loss - your precious angel plus your ovary and tube. It is all so tragic and heartbreaking.
I have not had an ectopic so sorry, I don't have any advice regarding recovery. I have lost (many) babies, however and I certainly know about the fatigue, insomnia and mental anguish. Your body (and mind) have been through a lot and it will take time to recover. I am now 4weeks down the track from my most recent m/c and only just starting to feel physically "normal". The emotional side of things takes a lot longer and will have physical effects also (the tiredness and insomnia).You have had more major surgery, so it will take some time for everything to settle regardless of the emotional aspect.
I would call your Dr if concerned regarding your physical recovery.
Hopefully you also have plenty of "mental" support as this becomes the most essential part of total recovery.

[ClareBear28]

Hi Meredith,
Thanks for your comforting words and advice. My Mum has just arrived from Melbourne so I have instantly felt some sense of relief from my pain. My partner has been wonderful as have his parents, so the mental support and love that I am receiving is truly wonderful. I am sorry about about your loss and I really hope that you are doing OK too. Last night I actually managed to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time, so I'm feeling less tired today, but still very sore. Once again thankyou for your kind words xo

[daisy]

Clare- I am so sorry for your loss. I also have not had an etopic before, but do know the many emotions of lossing a bub. Please give yourself the time to heal.
Sending you many hugs

[LisaL]

Clare,

Oh sweety I am so sorry for the loss of your precious bub and the loss of your ovary and tube. I have been there before (although I lost just tube, kept ovary) and I know how your heart aches for your lost baby and for the possibility that loosing your ovary and tube may further delay your desire for a child. Within 12 months, I had an ectopic pg and lost one tube, a natural miscarriage and PG#3 which after two bleeding episods and two weeks total bed rest resulted in my healthy 8mo DD.

With regard to going to the loo, try drinking some prune juice or some fibre drink (you can get it in sachets from your pharmacy). As for the sleeping, have you tried putting some pillows under you and sleeping on your side? It might take a few goes to get the right position, but have a play with different shape pillows until you find a comfy spot. I also drank lots of Cranberry juice afterwards (I dont know why, i think someone told me I should..)

Sending you lots of hugs,
Lisa (feel free to PM me too)

[ClareBear28]

Hi Lisa,

Thankyou for your advice, I am managing to get by a little better this last couple of days. I've been taking Senna and it's seems to be helping me to go to the loo - ah the relief! I'd loooove to be able to sleep on my side, but I've tried everything - unfortunately because I had a laparotomy I've got a 15cm cut under my tummy which is feeling pretty bruised at the mo! I was having heaps of trouble even getting in and out of bed! Although my wonderful fiance has rigged up a rockclimbing rope in one of the roof beams and created a means for me to help lift myself out of the bed!

Also my Mum is here now looking after me, which is a great help as I'm looking at 5-6 weeks off work to recover and her company will be priceless I'm sure! I sympathise with everything that you have been through, and see your experience as a motivation to not give up trying! Once again thankyou, with each message I get, the more support and love I feel xo

[alikat]

Clare,

Sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you ectopic pregnany is scary and painful.

I had an ectopic pregnancy a few years back(2003) It ruptured and I lost my tube but not the ovary. I only had keyhole surgery, but blew up like a balloon and then got really badly constipated. The end result was(gross) that I resorted to a home enema kit. I already had two healthy daughters so I sadly decided that I wasn't meant to have any more children. Last August I got so nauseous that I had to stop smoking, so I did a home preg test. To my surprise I was pregnant. I was so scared that it would be ectopic! I had 3 ultrasounds b4 they found the little one. James Owen was born on 16th April, he is lovely. There is life after ectopic pregnancy just give yourself time to heal emotionally and physically. Also its good to go and have yourself checked to see if the remaining tube has a blockage which can often be treated. Hang in there love

Alison

[Lovenhope]

Hi Clare,
I was following your story a week ago. I was hoping for a positive outcome for you (before you shared your sad news)- as I was going through the same thing with my scans. Yesterday my scan showed an ectopic preg. And I only had surgery last night. I lost one tube through keyhole. However, my other tube is not looking crash hot.
I know I'm not much help, as it only just happened, but I wanted to say how sorry I am and know how scary this whole situation is.

Take care.

[ClareBear28]

Hi Alikat,

Thankyou, it's comforting to know that there are people who conceive after an ec preg, I suppose I am also lucky that I'm only 28 - Mum says I 've got "age on my side", I haven't given up, but I am so scared it consumes me sometimes.

My family is being very supportive, and I've got an appt with a gyno in a fortnight so that we can discuss what's happened, and the best way to look towards the future. Thanks again xo

[ClareBear28]

Oh Sandygirl,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know exactly what you must be feeling. I have found this website and everyone on it to be so supportive, it has helped me immensely. Lean on us all for some support, because it will help you to get through the emotional side of things.

It has been 11 days since my operation and I'm still in a fair bit of physical pain - I wish that I could've had keyhole surgery, apparently the physical recovery time is much quicker. Unfortunately my Dr wouldn't allow me to have an internal scan as he said that it wasn't necessary - if I had've been allowed to have one, my tube probably wouldn't have rurtured, and I wouldn't be looking at 6 weeks off work.

Make sure you follow up with a gyno appointment, just to make sure that everything went ok in your surgery and also to find out what your options are in terms of your other tube and ovary - don't give up just yet, if there's anything I have learnt it's that the body is an amazing thing.

My emotional recovery is what is taking the longest to heal. One of the biggest things that I am having trouble coping with is the fact that I could've died, I actually passed out from the pain at work, and when I came to I was on the ground with my workmates and fiance leaning over me - I couldn't hear anything and I thought that was it, I thought I was dying. When I came out of surgery I had lost 2 & 1/2 litres of blood into my abdomen, and had to have 2 blood transfusions to stabilise me. As the surgeon said it was lucky that I had gotten to hospital when I did, or I wouldn't be here.

Take care of yourself hun, I am happy to chat if you need me xo

[Lovenhope]

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible time of it. But I do need to say thank you. Because of your symptoms and posts, I made sure the doc listened to me and insisted on a second scan to find the yolk sac. This site and the information I gained from it may have well saved my life and any more trauma.
Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. I will try to share mine too, if it means helping others.

[chepie]

ClareBear28 - Oh I am so sorry for the loss of your angel . Your story is almost the same as mine. I too had an ruptured ectopic, coolasped 3 times , had blood transfussion also and almost died - though I only lost my right tube... I had a lap also and have a nice scar!! Make sure you rest and take it easy - I know easier said than done... but each day gets a little easier... give yourself time to grieve, cry, get angry, what ever makes you feel better... I went on to have a beautiful baby boy Aiden and yes the whole pregnancy was scary and I had bleeding BUT we came through it in the end... if you need anything at all please PM xxxx

sandygirl - Babe I am too sorry for the loss of your angel and the scary time that you have been through, like I said to Clarebear28 please give yourself time to heal not only physically but emotionally.. I hated the world for a long time!! And was fed up of people saying oh it wasn't meant to be, or you wern't that far along -blah blah - ohh it made me angry regardless of the stage of pregnancy it was our buba that we lost. If you need anything at all too please PM xxxxx

[Lovenhope]

Thanks Chepie,
The problem that people don't understand is that it's more than a lost bub.They don't realise,
-the trauma of surgery
- losing part of your reproductive organs..
Then being told that you are now in a higher risk group of it happening again....and btw.. the other tube doesn't look that crash hot either.
Yep. I'm a bit down on the world right about now.
Sorry if this is not the place to post , but I'm a bit emotional and know you girls understand.

[Brooke*]

Hi to ClareBear28 and sandygirl...
I have also had an ectopic and lost my L tube, removed through keyhole surgery (first pregnancy) it was scary i had heard of ectopic but didn't really know that much about it. I too lost alot of blood ...i also experienced discomfort bloating, bruising and cramping for a few days afterwards...but physically settled down within the week.

This is my first post and it feels good to be able to talk about the experience with people who have been through similar situations...as i have felt very isolated.

Sandygirl i know how you feel and i have felt the same way...one day at a time...

[Lovenhope]

Hi Brooke,
I just read your post on the other thread. May I say again you are such a brave and strong person. It is wonderful to be able to talk with those going through the same thing. At the moment, my greatest comfort is to sit at the computer and chat with people like you. I have tried to watch T.V but it seems so superficial.

I think that is great advice...one day at a time.....(I just wish my brain would listen.)

[ClareBear28]

Hi Brooke and Sandy,

I agree, it is very comforting to be able to communicate with others that have been through a similar experience as initially you feel like you are the only person who has had the misfortune of going through a ec preg - well that's how I felt anyway. I am nearly 2 weeks past my op, and I'm still getting bloating, cramping (like needing to go to the loo) and alot of tiredness. I have found that the girls on here have helped me to feel more normal about it all, and also that it wasn't my fault.. that there wasn't anything that I did that contributed to it happening.

Unfortunately for me I knew all about ec pregs (as I'd read all about them), and I had actually asked my Dr for an internal u/s after the external u/s showed nothing in my uterus - he told me that it wasn't necessary and that I'd probably just miscarried! So at the moment I'm carrying alot of anger in that perhaps I may not have had to go through the terrifying surgery and near loss of my life, I really feel asthough my Dr was negligent in not preventing this happening to me. I've got to try and get past the anger phase so that I can begin to heal properly emotionally.

Much of my family has kept saying "oh it's nature's way, it wasn't meant to be" etc etc, and initially that made me feel very isolated like they didn't understand, but I have realised that that is their way of saying it wasn't my fault and in the long run I will be ok. Many of my friends haven't contacted me yet as they have recently had healthy pregnancies, I know it's not that they don't care, but rather that they honsetly do not know what to say.

Keep your chins up, and maybe keep a diary, writing things down has helped me to sleep at night instead of having things running through my head...

Brooke, lean on all of us when you need us, you will be surprised how comforting it is to have people that send you messages just to let you know that they are thinking of you.

You are both in my thoughts, and I hope that each day brings you a little more relief from your pain xoxoxo

[Lovenhope]

Just wondering....
I know I am only 3 days past op. but I am getting a lot of lower back pain (similar to the pain I was getting when the investigations started) Has anyone else had this? I also have been getting bloated & still lots of cramping wind pain -this part sounds similar to yours Clare.
I can't help reading into everything and thinking the worst. I know this is not healthy but don't know how to control it.
Also- I have been feeling nausea as well!!

[ClareBear28]

I can't really say whether I had much back pain in the first 5 days, because I was in hospital and they keep the painkillers going 24/7. I know that I have had some discomfort in my back, but not what I would call pain.. Today I had my first check-up with my 'new' GP (as I'm not ever going back to the other GP), and she told me that any niggling discomfort is normal, and that the only time I need to worry is if I get a temperature as this indicates some form of infection. She had a bit of a feel around my tummy and said that the slight discomfort that I was experiencing was just some swelling that would take a couple more weeks to settle completely - hence the 5-6 weeks off work! Follow your instinct Sandygirl, you know your body better than anyone, if something feels wrong or if you aren't sure, phone your GP and ask the question....
xo