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Thread: IVF after ectopic pregnancy

  1. #1

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    Default IVF after ectopic pregnancy

    Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I have been relieved to read other stories on here. Two weeks ago I had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. It was large and I was lucky it hadn't burst. My right tube was removed also and my left tube is not in good shape...not entirely blocked, but fairly damaged. My doctor is therefore recommending we now go straight to IVF.
    I am trying to be positive but am still really up and down emotionally. Before the pregnancy was diagnosed as ectopic i had weeks of bleeding where i might have been pregnant, then was diagnosed as having an incomplete miscarriage at 9 weeks...given a curette, then after that, they realised i was still pregnant and in pain and the ectopic diagnosis was made and i was straight into hospital. It was a rollercoaster ride emotionally and my husband has been supportive but i have still often felt so alone and isolated and sad sad sad. I returned to work this week after recovering from the surgery. It's getting a bit easier and we are now focussing on the future and excited to start IVF, but nervous too. I see an IVF Dr in newcastle in a few weeks, Dr Schumack. I turn 35 this year and am aware of my age. We don't have any kids yet.
    I just find that this seems to be defining all other things in my life right now, and people can be insensitive too.
    I'd love to hear from anyone who can relate or has any words of wisdom. Thanks.


  2. #2

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    Hi Possums and welcome!

    I have not had exactly the same experience as you, but am about to start on IVF due to Ovulation Induction (for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) not working over a 6 month period.

    Firstly let me say my heartfelt sympathy for your loss and also the trauma that you have obviously been through. It is a tough time not only having lost your little angel, but now facing the prospect of IVF. You have come to the right place. Everyone here is so wonderfully supportive and you will find that the understanding that you get here, you just simply cannot find elsewhere.

    I have always known that I would have trouble to conceive, but it doesn't take away from the shock that you actually have to do IVF. Just remember that this is going to give you your best chance of achieving your dreams of having a baby.

    I wish you all the very best of luck

    Janie xxx

  3. #3

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    Thanks so much for your kind words. It really is nice to connect with others in a similar position. Helps reduce that feeling of isolation. Good luck to you also.

  4. #4

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    Hi Possums
    Welcome to BB! I am so sorry for what you have been going through lately. The loss of an angel is devastating and to have your fertility questioned on top of that grief adds to it all. It takes time to grieve and understand what it all means. Planning and looking at your options is a good way to think positively about the future so well done you!

    I wanted to let you know a good news story. A good BB pal (36) is now over 20 weeks pg with her second IVF bub and she has no fallopian tubes due to 2 separate ectopics plus cervical cancer at a young age.

    For me it took me a while after discovering I had severe damage due to endometriosis to finally decide to move to IVF. I needed to come at it in my own way and time, knowing all the issues but being honest with how I felt. So don't feel you have to make a decision straight away if you don't want to. It is good to talk about it with people, specialists etc learn more and decide your path in it all.

    I wish you the best on your journey to have your own munchkin.

    xx

  5. #5

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    Hello Possums

    First off Id just like to say how sorry I am that you had a ectopic PG and lost your angle baby. I can say I know what your going through As it has happen to me too, X 2 in fact.

    The lady that Dusty is talking about is me. Dusty Wusty.

    To give you a quick run down, I had Cervical cancer when I was 17, Had it removed, hemriged one week later. All was well, then all of a sudden started getting bad pains, cramps, etc, had lap done and found I had endometriosis. From there had 2 more laps done, to remove it but it kept coming back. All up had about 5 laps done, then they did the running the dye through your tubes to see how they are, Well blocked. Told me I wouldnt be able to have kids naturally so went off the pill. 9 months later, I never got AF. Yes I was pg. ok, now we come to 2006/07/08. DD is 14. New life, new DH, brought house, fell pg, found out it was ectopic. Had left tube removed cried for days, almost ended our relationship, moved into house, got married, decided to do IVF. First time IVF, fell pg with DS now just over 2, had ET (embryo transfer) done, ended up being ectopic, right tube removed. Did one whole cycle, ended up with 5 eggs and no pg, then did one more cycle, let them go to blasties and only had 2, had them put back and now im 22 weeks pg with my DS who is being born 15th July. Liam Matthew will be his name.

    So much for that being short. You should have seen the long verson...heheh.

    Hun I beleive you have to be pos++, have faith and patients, and just believe it will happen. I was like now way but no matter what, I was having more children.

    I wish you loads of luck and send lots of your way. Look forward to hearing the good news soon in the furture.

    Take care

  6. #6

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    Hi Possums,

    Welcome to BB There are a lot of people who can offer support and understanding here, I found it a wonderful place when I was first feeling isolated and sensitive when I started IVF.

    I'm very sorry for the trauma that you've been through. Not only have you lost a baby, but you've gone through a great deal physically where everything has been changed. It is so natural for you to grieve, and to feel lost and to feel unsure. I'm very glad to hear that you're excited about IVF, and looking forward to the future now, even though I'm sure everything that you've gone through is still affecting you - it's such a good, healing thing to be thinking forward.

    Everything you've gone through is defining, firstly because it is a big deal to go through, and secondly because of how deeply it affects you. It's natural. And because you feel so affected by it inside, but still have to function on the outside in the real world, it's very easy to feel isolated and that people around you in your life cannot understand properly and thus cannot respond sensitively enough. That's also natural to feel that way. I can tell you I feel like that most days going through IVF, but I haven't even gone through the trauma you have gone through This is where the people here on BB are the most understanding. So many other women are going through circumstances with their fertility and can relate to the feeling of being isolated and misunderstood/not cared about in the right way.

    So I'm really glad your here at BB, because you will receive support and understanding Please ask anything you may need to know about IVF - there will always be someone here who will answer any questions you have in no time!

    Also, come and join the LTTTC & AC thread if you'd like here where there'll be heaps of other ladies (and a gent!) to chat to about AC and IVF.

    I hope you're recovering well and that your journey have child in your arms is short and that all the trauma to achieve your dream can be over now.

    Miss C

  7. #7

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    Wow. Thanks so much to you all for you warm words and support. I really am touched and am crying reading this (nothing unusual in me crying at this point I guess!). It just feels so good to connect with others who can really understand and empathise. Returning to work this week has been so hard, because people just keep talking about their trivial (seems to me anyhow) little stuff and noone recognises, knows, 'gets' what I am feeling or have been through. I feel angry with them too sometimes. Sometimes I even feel angry with my lovely husband just because he hasn't/isn't suffering the way I have been. I know it's different for men and everyone experiences things differently, but still, it's hard.
    Luckily he is supportive and my parents have been great too.
    I am always thrilled to read happy ending stories too, so thanks!
    I am a bit of a control freak and this has obviously thrown things out of control, which I guess is why my way to respond is to want to move forward to the next conrete step as quickly as possible.
    Thanks again to you all for your responses.

  8. #8

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    Hi Possums, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Anger is part of the grieving process. Don't worry I think most of our DPs/DHs have experienced this from us, I know mine has . I too am a bit of a control freak and love to know the plan for every eventuality. Sometimes this works but sometimes I find it best to go with the flow. Whatever works for you. Well you don't need to feel alone anymore as there is much understanding and empathy on BB. I am glad you have supportive family, it makes a big difference.
    Glad we could give you a bit of help I do think Missy's story is so inspirational. She went through a lot over her life but here she is with her 2nd IVF bub on the way!
    xx

  9. #9

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    Yes it certainly is an uplifting story! And I think one of my big lessons out of all this is learning to let go of control, at least a little bit Going with the flow is hard for me, but I can see I am going to need to be able to do that to a certain extent, oherwise I'll drive myself and those around me crazy!

  10. #10

    Default IVF

    Quote Originally Posted by Possums View Post
    Hi everyone, this is my first post here and I have been relieved to read other stories on here. Two weeks ago I had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy. It was large and I was lucky it hadn't burst. My right tube was removed also and my left tube is not in good shape...not entirely blocked, but fairly damaged. My doctor is therefore recommending we now go straight to IVF.
    I am trying to be positive but am still really up and down emotionally. Before the pregnancy was diagnosed as ectopic i had weeks of bleeding where i might have been pregnant, then was diagnosed as having an incomplete miscarriage at 9 weeks...given a curette, then after that, they realised i was still pregnant and in pain and the ectopic diagnosis was made and i was straight into hospital. It was a rollercoaster ride emotionally and my husband has been supportive but i have still often felt so alone and isolated and sad sad sad. I returned to work this week after recovering from the surgery. It's getting a bit easier and we are now focussing on the future and excited to start IVF, but nervous too. I see an IVF Dr in newcastle in a few weeks, Dr Schumack. I turn 35 this year and am aware of my age. We don't have any kids yet.
    I just find that this seems to be defining all other things in my life right now, and people can be insensitive too.
    I'd love to hear from anyone who can relate or has any words of wisdom. Thanks.
    Hey POSSUM
    How are you? I know exactly what you mean, your story is so just like mine, only mine was a bit worse as my ectopic exploded in me beofore they believed that i was really in that much pain. I had a massive surg in Aug this year to remove all that and nearly died as it was a 4 hr operation and i had internal bleeding from it all. And not to mention 2 ovarian cysts as well. I am so affraid now to even think about Ivf as it is our only option. As with you, my tube was removed and my other one is no good either. I am very worries about being pregnant again as the hell i went thru with this one was enough to turn me off.
    Im 29, and it was our 1st pregnancy after 4 years of trying. :-(
    Ella

  11. #11

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    Hi Ella,
    Just wanted to say hi and please stay strong!
    I'm so sorry you had to deal with such a traumatic experience. You are definitely entitled to feel worried. It is natural instinct.
    I had 2 ectopics. Luckily they did not burst but both tubes were badly damaged and need to be removed. It has been 8 months since my last ectopic and am currently trying IVF. I really feel all this has made me a stronger person and has helped me re-evaluate the more important things in my life.
    I still worry about complications if I do get pregnant again,but if I give up, then I also give up my dream to have another child.
    All the best in your journey & feel free to ask if you have any Q.

    SB

  12. #12

    Default StarBright

    Hey, thank you so much for your reply. Yeah i know what you mean.. I am worried as all hell now, but like you say, if i give up then i wont have the chance of ever knowing if things would have turned out ok in the end. But yeah once you been thru the traumatic experience like this it is hard to get over it and move on and just hope that next time things will go ok.... I hope they do. Guess since one of my tubes was removed its bit of a less chance of it being stuck there again, 50% less then last time. And my doc said this time i will be monitored really closely and if there is a positive pregnancy test, they will be checking me on weekly bases to make sure im all aok, and if there is a problem will be picked up right away, not like last time.
    How old are you, and have you got any children already?
    Ella

  13. #13

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    Ella I am sorry to hear about your EP. (And possums & Star bright) and best of luck with your ttc journeys.

    Missy your story is inspiring to us that have had ectopic pregnacies and concerned about future pregnancies.

    Ella Did the Dr tell you with your surgery that your other tube is damaged or have you had tests since that indicate this? There is a Dr that I am going to go see that specialises in Tubal damage (he is through an IVF clinic but also does tubal micro-surgery) I am hoping from there he can tell me if IVF is the best option or ttc naturally. You are right when your (and me) pregnant again early monitoring will be done with BHCG and a scan when possible which should lead to a subsequent EP been diagnosed much earlier then the first one if this was to be the case. Even with one damaged the odds are still in our favour of the next pregnancy making it to the uterus.

    Best of luck ttc

  14. #14

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    hi, wow, it was strange reading again my first ever post here!
    As you can see from my signature, my journey has continued to have quite a few hurdles since then and it feels so long ago I had the ectopic and first found this supportive site.
    To let you know, I have had a natural conception with that 'damaged' tube of mine...i miscarried, for other medical reasons...but i guess what I am saying, is sometimes dodgy tubes can still do the job. I have also had an IVF pregnancy, which also miscarried.

    Ella, I am so sorry for all you have been through. Feeling sad, angry, nervous, anxious is all normal. I hope you have success soon...it's not fair and it's not easy, but I pray we will all get there eventually... big hugs

  15. #15

    Default Hey all

    Hi girls
    Yes well, it has been a nightmare which im slowly getting over. Each day i guess it gets a bit easier and each day i start looking forward a bit more to the next one. I have been told that my other tube is damaged and that it will me a miracle if i got pregnant naturally, so been told ivf is our only option. Guess i dont mind, seen as tho we are already going thru it all. I had my eggs taken out in june, and still have 5 frozen embryos, so we will use that. I just worry that i will miscarry time and time again like Possum. Im so sorry that has happend to you. It must be so horrible. Poor thing. :-( Hopefully you will have good news soon too and we will both have something to get excited about. Its funny how all the people that really want children find it hard to get pregnant and all the other ppl that dont even want it or have it for wrong reasons have no worries with it. its just so unfair!

  16. #16

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    it certainly is unfair, and just take your time in working through all the emotions and be kind to yourself. And expect things to take a while to settle down, and be up and down. Day by day it does get easier to manage and the raw emotions settle a bit.

  17. #17

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    Possum,

    Yeah i know what you mean. It has got easier then when it happened at first. Just got to have hope that it will work out eventually when its meant to. You in NSW are you? Im in Tassie. :-)

  18. #18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ella598 View Post
    Hey, thank you so much for your reply. Yeah i know what you mean.. I am worried as all hell now, but like you say, if i give up then i wont have the chance of ever knowing if things would have turned out ok in the end. But yeah once you been thru the traumatic experience like this it is hard to get over it and move on and just hope that next time things will go ok.... I hope they do. Guess since one of my tubes was removed its bit of a less chance of it being stuck there again, 50% less then last time. And my doc said this time i will be monitored really closely and if there is a positive pregnancy test, they will be checking me on weekly bases to make sure im all aok, and if there is a problem will be picked up right away, not like last time.
    How old are you, and have you got any children already?
    Ella
    Hi Ella,
    I am 33 and living in Sydney. I have one little boy that was conceived naturally 4 yrs again. I started TTC #2 when he was just over one. My first EP occurred after 12 months of trying. My second EP was early this year and I'm now on the IVF roller-coaster.
    What your doctor said is right. As long as they monitor you carefully, they can pick it up before it gets critical. Part of me felt relieved having the second damaged tube out, that way there was less chance of it happening again.
    When I think back on my EP's I still well up and get emotional, more so because it did happen twice. So many people said, the chance of it happening again is so slim. Well, it did happen again and I'm slowly moving past that. It definitely gets easier, even after 2.

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