Baby Alexander - born and died 28-04-08

**Spring Angel** · June 3rd, 2008, 09:08 PM

Danek: Even since having Oliver I have some days when I find it hard to see pregnant women. A friend had a baby last week and although I am happy for her, all I could think is why does her baby get to live and Harry didn't?

Brooke: Welcome to BB hun, I am so very sorry that it is in such tragic circumstances. You sounds like an amazing person and you are right, you should be proud of your little boy.

Big understanding cuddles to both of you.

Take care
Lv spring

**Hammi** · June 3rd, 2008, 09:56 PM

How are you going Danek? Day by day, OK...

**danek** · June 4th, 2008, 02:18 PM

"Taking it day by day" seems to be the standard answer to the "How are you?" question - as many of you know. And it truly is day by day. Some days are, well, not good but more positive than others.

The hospital gave me a small book with some memories of Alexander and within it was a poem that I've heard many times before but the meaning never registered until the other day. Take it or leave it - but I thought I would share it and maybe you might be able to take something from it, as I did:

Please, grant me serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can:
Wisdom to know the difference.
Let me take one day at a time
And remain at peace

This has helped me look at all my thoughts of, "if only I had" or "what if I had done this differently" and realised that if I had the ability to change anything, I would, but I need to accept that I cannot.

Anyway, I thought that I could finally share a positive with you all.

Danek

**Rowie** · June 4th, 2008, 04:00 PM

Danek

Although my journey is different to yours I understand the statement that you will never be the same person. You wont be, you will grow in yourself from this experience. You have come to the right place for support, the members on BB are rocks for each other.

Take care of you.

**danek** · June 10th, 2008, 02:13 PM

Hello Again,

We are getting the autopsy results tomorrow. Its taken over six weeks before all the results are finally back. I feel as though I am losing the plot. I've never felt so worked up in all my life. What if the results are bad? What if I find out it was something I did during the pregnancy? What if it is a genetic factor and we are advised not to have any more children? What if the results offer us no explanation at all?

This nervousness is just welling up within me - please hurry up tomorrow! I just want it over and done with.