Baby Alexander - born and died 28-04-08

[danek]

Hello Again,

We are getting the autopsy results tomorrow. Its taken over six weeks before all the results are finally back. I feel as though I am losing the plot. I've never felt so worked up in all my life. What if the results are bad? What if I find out it was something I did during the pregnancy? What if it is a genetic factor and we are advised not to have any more children? What if the results offer us no explanation at all?

This nervousness is just welling up within me - please hurry up tomorrow! I just want it over and done with.

[aussienic]

I will be thinking of you :hugs: I hope you get results of some kind that can help put your mind at ease

[Lynn]

Thinking of you tomorrow I hope you get some answers so you know why you lost Alex but hope it is an answer you are comfortable with.

[~clover~]

Good luck tomorrow. Whatever happens I hope it helps you in some way.

[melham74]

Just wanted to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow

[danek]

Well we did it. I think the lead up was worse than the actual appointment.

The results were inconclusive. A little frustrating but we knew that there was a good chance that this would be the case.

I don't know why you left us Alex - I guess we will never have a reason why such a big, strong and lively baby throughout the pregnancy could suddenly be stolen away.

A bit of a blow when we got home today. Hubby told me he is not ready to try for another baby. To be honest, the thought of another baby has really kept me going over the last wee while. I know this has to be a joint decision so I'm a little shattered that he feels this way.

Healing? Yes. But feeling very bruised and battered tonight.

Danek

[aussienic]

[Spring Angel]

Danek: I'm sorry that you didn't get an answer as to why you lost your baby boy. You are not alone, with about 50% of stillborn babies there is no reason they can find. We had some ideas as to why we lost Harry, but no one could give us a reason or a name for it I know how hard it is.

Just give your hubby time, the grief is still so raw at the moment and I'm sure with a little bit of time he will gather his strength and want to try again.

Lv Spring.

[Lynn]

Danek, I'm sorry you didn't get some answers Your DH may just need a little bit more time to grieve until he is ready to try again. Men show their emotions differently to us and he may be scared of trying again and not strong enough to say it out loud. Keep talking, tell each other what you are feeling and thinking and you will get through this together

[~clover~]

Both of you have been through so much. I totally understand where DH is coming from. Give him a bit of time. He'll get there.
Sorry you got no answers.

[jojo80]

I could never get my head around what you're going through. I'm sorry but all i have to offer you at the moment are warm cuddles.

[L-net]

Danek, I'm so sorry you are going through this.

It was the most hurtful time I have ever experienced after my daughter died. It just hurts and hurts. I hope you have compassionate and caring family and friends to look after you.

Love Lynnette x

[Mel1977]

Danek, Im so sorry you havent got any answers from your appointment I can only imagine how hard it is for you to hear DH say he isnt quite ready, especially understanding from a mother's point of view that feeling of desperation to try again. Give him some time and talk to him about your feelings and hopefully he will change him mind in due course.

Look after yourself, of course you are feeling a bit worse for wear at the moment. Healing is a long process and unfortunately sometimes feels like you take one step forward and two steps backward. Eventually you feel like your getting ahead, but give yourself the time you need.

Take care, Mel :hugs:

[Sues]

Danek, I'm so very sorry to hear of baby Alexander's passing. Please know I'm thinking of you & your family at this very sad time. My little son was also born sleeping but at 22 weeks in Jan this yr and I'm still grieving. Take care hun xx

[danek]

Well. I spoke again to an obstetrician at the hospital who has since reviewed our case with a number of other Doctors.

Although they cannot definitely say, they believe that the most likely cause for Alexander's death was a placental abruption. It is all very confronting being told this. Is it better to have a cause? It doesn't change what has happened.

We have been told that extra monitoring and scans will be available for any future pregnancies. I may be able to have a vaginal birth again, which I thought I wouldn't be able to do as I have had a caesarean for my first born and a VBAC for Alex. So I guess there is some relief in this.

We picked up Alex's hand and foot print mould yesterday. It is lovely. It is proudly hanging in the hallway and we are getting some big brother hand prints for my 2 year old to hang along side. We have so few things to remember Alex by so this is very special to us.

I hope you are all well! Take Care

Danek

[aussienic]

I just wanted to drop off a

[MistyFying]

Danek I'm so sorry for your loss.

[ksabo]

Danek - I am so very sorry to hear about your son Alexander My heart breaks to read of another precious baby growing wings. You have shown so much strength to be able to post your story here. Unfortunately I also know your pain as I lost my son Nicholas at 36w1d. I remember his funeral as almost like an out of body experience, like it was someone else and I was just watching. Wednesday is going to be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but know that Alexander will be with you guiding you through, every step of the way.

Please know that we are all here for you whenever you need us, I personally found BB to be the one place I could go for unconditional support and I hope you find some comfort here also.

Take care, big and thinking of you on Wednesday.

Mel