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Thread: cant help but be sad

  1. #1
    bekyj2 Guest

    Default cant help but be sad

    i dont really know who to word this but i will try my hardest to make sense...
    since lossing bubby Hydie if i am alone all i do is cry because all i think about is wat if,, as in wat if i had done this or that and think that it is my fault... i have even cried my self to sleep at nite and my Darling partner has caught me crying i tell him wats wrong and even though he re-ashores me that it wasnt my fault and things like this just happpen,
    i still cant but think that it was my fault. now i want to do something in memory i did something for the twins which was a memorial box with just a few baby thing in them. wen i put the idea towards my partner he didnt like it and i would really love some ideas it would be really great.... but even still how do i no that something like that will help i just cant helped but be depressed. i act as if everything is fine wen i go out and then i get home and i just want to be quite go to my room listen to sad songs and think.. i miss Hydie so much, and on top of that i really miss my twins Tyson and kate....
    please i just want to be happy again and i think my boyfriend wants me to be happy cause he just doesnt no wat to do anymore

    me 17 partner 18

    tyson and kate 8 w 4 d 15th of march 2006
    hydie 18th of sep 5 w 5 d 2007


  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Out of my mind.... back in 10 mins.
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    365

    Default

    Hi Beky
    I have heard a few different things they include
    Get a pet cat,dog or even a mouse
    Buy a rose - might even be able to get one named Hydie
    Buy a figurine named Hydie
    Get a teddy for your bed as it is something you can hold and cry


    I am also going to counciling to talk about every thing. I have found that it has helped me alot.

    Take care
    Chris

  3. #3
    bekyj2 Guest

    Default

    wen my best freind past away over the easter long weekend this year, i got a puppy and i named her after his middle name,, she helps so much.
    the teddy sounds great but i really dont know how my boyfreind will take it..
    but there are all great ideas......
    i just feel as if my heart is really broken and it wont mend Y?
    ..... i cant really sleep either cause of everything i wish i had just done a few thing different then maybe just maybe hydie, tyson and kate would be here so that i can hold... being around my neice who is only 2 months old, my freinds buba girl who is 3 months old and our family friend baby boy who is 3 weeks old is hard, but because i love kids i love to hold them by them things and do alot for my freind, sis and fmaily friend..
    i just try to be strong for my partner but sometimes i cant, and just want to cry


    me 17 partner 18
    Kate and Tyson 15th of mar 2006. 8 w 4 d
    Hydie 18th of sep 2007 5 w 5 d

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Milton Keynes ( England )
    Posts
    207

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    Oh Becky you sound like you need a massive hug you have been through alot and i no what you mean about doing something to remmber them by i am buying a glass plaque with my daughters name and the date i lost her and a few special words my DH wasnt to keen but what makes me happy makes him happy also i am one of those people that do what i want so i am getting the plaque also we have a memorial book at our hosiptal and you can put a little message in there and you can go read it whenever you want maybe look to see if your hospital have one also other memory things are having a peice of jewllery enggraved or another memory box also what i do i buy i pink candle every yr on the day i lost her and i light it whenever i feel i want to remember her or feel sad i will light it in the eve when me and DH are having cuddles on the sofa. Hope you feel better soon honey it takes time and cry whenever you need to try not to hide it from anyone you lost you babies so you have the right to grieve in anyway you want

    Take care

    Munchy xxx

  5. #5
    paradise lost Guest

    Default

    I think men want to move on to ease the pain whereas women often need to grieve fully before we can move on. My babies had a rose planted for them, and i remember them on the dates i lost them. In June this year i had a little cry about my 1st loss, as i realised he or she would be starting school now! When you lose a baby all that potential stopping is so very painful. I think for many men a baby isn't real until it can at least be felt kicking, or even, for many, until it is born. Whereas for many of us women a baby is a baby the second we are pregnant.

    I don't have the answers except to say that you should do what YOU need to do to get through. Don't worry about your partner - if he is uncomfortable he doesn't have to join in, we all need to grieve in our own way. I think the teddy is a great idea. After my 1st loss my DP found one in a charity shop which had been in a baby's cot (i could smell the baby-smell on it) and i cuddled it and cried for ages. I gave it, Henry the polar bear, to my dad when my mum died. I didn't need it anymore and my dad needed someone to cuddle.

    Best of luck and

    Bx

  6. #6

    Default

    I am so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    473

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Just yesterday I released a balloon in honor of my last miscarriage in the cemetary where my father and preemie brother are buried. Then I had a good cry. Tears are healing. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    taree
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    i think at this moment nobody can tell u how to feel just know there are people out there that know some of what you are going through. i lost 2 sons this year i dont know why.. things happen i cant explain im still very angry at the moment cos it shouldnt of happened. but i hope u feel somewhat better soon. cos ii hope i do. sleeping gets hard cos i dream...

  9. #9

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Out of my mind.... back in 10 mins.
    Posts
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    Default

    Hi Beky
    Just checking in to see how you are.
    I am finding it easyer now, I even went out today to a very busy shopping center and there was so many baby bumps and prams. I am so proud of myself. I had a great day shopping with my kids.
    Have you looked into going to counciling??? It really has helped me. Talking to someone about everything helps get it out.

    Take care
    Chris

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