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Thread: EDD IDeas? (also having a vent)

  1. #1

    Default EDD IDeas? (also having a vent)

    Hi there
    My EDD is coming up in March, and the closer it comes to it, the more real my loss seems to me. Actually thinking that I should have been bringing my little one home
    in nearly a months' time is just breaking my heart.

    I'm a bit confused also what to do on my EDD. From one side, I want to stay home mark this day somehow, and on the other have if I do that, then all I will end up doing is sitting at home and crying, and I really don't want to do that. This day marks my baby's Date of Birth after all, which should have been one of the happiest days in my life. And I just don't understand why would I get robbed of it! I mean how many ladies there are there who give birth and don't even look after their children, because they never wanted them in the first palce, how many chidlren are being born into the drug addict families, just so their parents can get the Government benefits to buy more drugs. Why doesn't God jsut give thsoe children to people like me or any other woman on here, who cherish their chidlren more than anythign in their lives? Where's the balance?
    I found out the other day that one of my old classmates, who has been using drugs for a long time has given birth to a child with no arms and has given him up to an orphan house! And that just tipped it off! Why on Earth would you you send this poor child to Earth, who will suffer for the rest of his life? Why didn't her body "dealt naturally" with a bad pregnancy instead of mine? Why couldn't this child be sent to me and be born perfectly healthy and have a normal life?



    Anyway, I apologize for my angry post, but I had to get it out somehow. I just wanted to get some ideas/experiences of what you do on your EDD to make it not so miserable.

    Thank you...

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
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    Hi Mumofanangel. You sound like you are hurting terribly at the moment. I understand your anger and frustration, but please don't let it eat you up. We could drive ourselves mad looking around at all the injustice, but it doesn't really offer much comfort. I am so sorry you are going through this, especially with your EDD coming up.

    Do you have someone who you could spend the EDD with? I think it is important that you give yourself that day to grieve, or reflect or just take time to remember your angel. My EDD is April 23 and DH and I are going away on that day and will take a few days holiday. That morning I will go to a church service and then we fly out at midday. It will give me the opportunity to remember our baby but also something to look forward to as we have a holiday planned. I am not sure yet if I will work the day before, as it might be difficult as well.

    I really think you should ask someone to be with you on that day, as it might be difficult and you may well need support.

    Take care and big hugs.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofanangel View Post
    Hi there
    My EDD is coming up in March, and the closer it comes to it, the more real my loss seems to me. Actually thinking that I should have been bringing my little one home
    in nearly a months' time is just breaking my heart.

    I'm a bit confused also what to do on my EDD. From one side, I want to stay home mark this day somehow, and on the other have if I do that, then all I will end up doing is sitting at home and crying, and I really don't want to do that. This day marks my baby's Date of Birth after all, which should have been one of the happiest days in my life. And I just don't understand why would I get robbed of it! I mean how many ladies there are there who give birth and don't even look after their children, because they never wanted them in the first palce, how many chidlren are being born into the drug addict families, just so their parents can get the Government benefits to buy more drugs. Why doesn't God jsut give thsoe children to people like me or any other woman on here, who cherish their chidlren more than anythign in their lives? Where's the balance?
    I found out the other day that one of my old classmates, who has been using drugs for a long time has given birth to a child with no arms and has given him up to an orphan house! And that just tipped it off! Why on Earth would you you send this poor child to Earth, who will suffer for the rest of his life? Why didn't her body "dealt naturally" with a bad pregnancy instead of mine? Why couldn't this child be sent to me and be born perfectly healthy and have a normal life?

    Anyway, I apologize for my angry post, but I had to get it out somehow. I just wanted to get some ideas/experiences of what you do on your EDD to make it not so miserable.

    Thank you...
    some good things come of ppl who give their babies up. my DF was adopted out due to his birth parents being major substance abusers. he has never desired to meet his birth parents, because his adoptive parents have loved and cherished him and made him into the fine man he is today, the man who has been my rock thru the worst week of my life, in and out of hospital all week after my m/c and botched D&C. a good friend of mine is fostering three siblings of a family of 11 children, all in care..the mother demanded the newest back so she could claim the baby bonus. needless to say my friend didn't give in !!! another lady i know has five disabled children...and somehow manages to get sympathy and help all round !!!
    all i can say is i hope for a baby for you asap. i'm sending you prayers.

    DF and i planted a tree outside our bedroom window for joshua, and i must add that after my first husband bullied me into a termination, i didnt heal, depite having a live baby two years after, up until almost eight years after the termination date when i planted a special lily for that child. i ordered the bulb from victoria, and when i opened the box it was the size of a newborn baby's head....i could finally grieve then.
    Last edited by ~Aveta~; February 11th, 2008 at 09:39 AM.

  4. #4

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    Karan, I am sorry - I didn't mean it in that way. I don't have anything against people adopting children from misfortuante families and giving them the best life possible. But the actual idea of children being born into families, where they are unwanted, while how many couples lose their prescious babies/ children or have to be trying for a child for many years to me is just WRONG! And yes, I know that disabled children are prescious, hence the reason why I always hated when people told me - that my body dealt with my little one's abnormalities naturally, because I would have loved him either way. But I also think, it is bloody unfair, how children are being born disabled, because of their parents lifestyle and then their parents don't even want them. I know that there is a lot of unjsutice in the world, and I am old enough to understand that one should accept it rather then question it, but there are just some days, I don't think I really know what "acceptance" really is.

  5. #5

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    deleted...
    Last edited by mumofanangel; February 11th, 2008 at 02:05 PM.

  6. #6

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    I so understand where you are right now. Life isn't fair.

    For my EDD last August my mum travelled down for the day and we went out for lunch and went to Mass with my husband. It meant we marked the occasion (which was very important to us) but it also meant I didn't mope all day. Just last Friday was the anniversary of my baby's death and I decided I was well and truly through with feeling sad all the time, after all my babies were such a gift to me and my husband even though we only had them for a short time. So instead of celebrating an anniversary, we celebrated a birthday. I went into town and hubby and I went to Mass together, then after tea that night (take out) we had birthday cake and went out on a date to the movies.

    Although I always dread these days as they approach, I always find them to be such positive experiences for me emotionally. After months of grief my EDD was a real turning point for me. I felt like I could move on.

    My advice is: do something (doesn't matter what) and don't do it alone.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofanangel View Post
    Karan, I am sorry - I didn't mean it in that way. I don't have anything against people adopting children from misfortuante families and giving them the best life possible. But the actual idea of children being born into families, where they are unwanted, while how many couples lose their prescious babies/ children or have to be trying for a child for many years to me is just WRONG! And yes, I know that disabled children are prescious, hence the reason why I always hated when people told me - that my body dealt with my little one's abnormalities naturally, because I would have loved him either way. But I also think, it is bloody unfair, how children are being born disabled, because of their parents lifestyle and then their parents don't even want them. I know that there is a lot of unjsutice in the world, and I am old enough to understand that one should accept it rather then question it, but there are just some days, I don't think I really know what "acceptance" really is.

    hey i totally understand where you're coming from. it's not fair that ppl who take no care during a pregnancy still get their babies. another lady i know was having number six, coughing so hard she almost lost it...but why was she coughing? she was a smoker and was still smoking pot several times a day too. it makes my blood boil!!!!! i personally would never intentionally bring a disabled child into the world. who would care for it when i cant ? with my twins i was too worried to even take panadol for my back pain and i was six months past a spinal injury after a motorcycle accident when i fell pregnant with them. but i feel i did right, they were induced at ten days before EDD and were 6 1/2 and 7 1/2 pounds. same with my youngest, she was 8 1/2 and all have been robust healthy kids. i have never smoked and i stop all my other vices like coffee and red wine and sugar when i'm pregnant.

    big hugs and lots of luck for you

    karan

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