hi tei

i was just reading up on all of this tread and wanted to put my experience on hear first of all i agree with everything all the ladys have said i lost my baby girl at 23 weeks due to a diease called bilateral muticyctic dysplastic kidneys which ment i had to terminate my pregnancy as she would have never of survived it was a very hard choice and boy did i feel guilty and the giving birth was so heartbreaking to go through the labour and not have a healthy baby after was hard my family were great they were there always offering cuddles which is what i needed but my husbands family were completely different there reaction was it is a fetus not a baby and when i told them that i was having pics taken they said that it was just morbid and asking them to come to the funral they replied with we would never want to go to a funeral of someone we never new i just dont no how they could be so heartless and to be honest i think it was threre comments that led me to go councelling. i think after having to terminate i had to have a huge needle through my tummy that went into my babys heart to stop it i think they should have offered councelling and i was never offered it i also think that my midwife could have maybe being a little bit more compasionate instead of acting like eberything was normal. what made it worse was if people would try to avoid me or didnt want to tell me they were pregnant not sure why but i just wanted people to treat me normal not like there was something wrong with me if that makes sence. i think there is alot that can be changed especially different waiting rooms also i had to travel a long way to have that injection in my tummy so i had to have a train ride for an hour and a half knowing my baby was not alive anymore and people were smiling at me as if to say arr she is having a baby little did they no what was wrong. i would love to become a midwife and will hopefully study it after having this baby i am pregnant with now and i think i would just give a person a great big cuddle and tell them that its ok to cry and to get it all out. sorry to ramble on there is so much in my head i need to get out but i will stop hope it goes well for you and its great you are doing this for your clients i just hope no one has to experience it.

Munchy xxx