To have a D&C or not?

[Junglemum]

My lovely gf just went for her 12 wk u/s and the bub had no heartbeat, was about the size of 10wk fetus. She has a beautiful daughter but this is her third loss since trying to concieve again.
They have booked her in for a D&C tomorrow.
When i was in my first trmester i was reading a few threads about D&C and whether or not to wait or go ahead. i can;t find any info now!
She rang me to chat and ask for advice and i told her to sign up to BB! but she very upset tonight so thought i might be able to get some info on her behalf.
I have only m/c naturally and am unsure of all her qn's. With a D&C what is the recovery like? Is there alot of bleeding? or does it vary? Are there alot of risks attached? How long is too long to wait for your body to m/c of it's own accord?
Sorry to ask so much in one post, any info you have to offer would be greatly appreciated.

[Junglemum]

Sorry BB, can you please move this into the general miscarriage section? Thanks.

[StrawberryMumma]

Whether or not to have a D and C is such a personal thing isn't it? I had one. The procedure went fine. I wasn't aware of any major risks. Following it I felt a bit achey that night, and just had like a normal period following it and then some light spotting for a few weeks after. I expected it to be much worse than it was but really it was fine. It's just all the emotional side of things that takes it's toll. I took a month off work as I was so shattered after losing my little one But it gets much easier as the weeks go by. Still painful of course, but much better.

My ob was happy for me to wait and mc naturally, he said there was no rush even though, like your gf, bub had probably died a bit before my US.

Huge :hugs: to your lovely friend. It's such a sad time.

[SOUSIE]

Hi Ange,

I'm so sorry for your loss

I’m 27 and at my first ultrasound in July I was told I had miscarried (blighted ovum). I was devastated but even more so just angry at myself for being oblivious to the fact that this is actually quite a common occurrence amongst pregnant women. I had no idea what this was, what it meant, what to do or what to expect. My gynecologist advised me of my choices and suggested we wait until it passed naturally. I’m not a big fan of surgical procedures and immediately agreed this would be the better option for me.

As it was too private and far too embarrassing to share with friends and family I frantically hunted the internet that night to read up and see what I could find out about miscarriages, specifically blighted ovum.

There was plenty to read up on, lots of information and many forums where people had kindly shared their experiences and opinions. Many women had opted for a D&C rather than letting the miscarriage pass naturally but there was very rarely an explanation as to why they had chosen this option. For this reason, I would like to share with you my experience.

I was told by my gynecologist that my body would expel the miscarriage in roughly about the next two weeks (this matched up to the information I had read on the internet). He also explained that it would be expelled through heavy bleeding, much more than just a normal period (much of this was also confirmed through information I had read). I was ready.

Two weeks had passed and nothing had happened. Three weeks had passed and nothing had happened. My gynecologist was constantly calling to check up on me throughout this time and seemed a little concerned but suggested we should wait one more week before we proceeded with surgery.

Four weeks and two days later I felt symptoms of a period coming on walking home from the bus stop after work. My first thought was ‘finally!’ We had dinner plans with friends that night and so after a shower and a fresh (thick!) sanitary pad we headed out. Within 30 minutes I felt myself bleeding very heavily and headed straight to the toilets. The second I sat on the toilet there was an enormous gush of blood that came out and from that point there was constant dripping. Composing myself (which was extremely difficult to do at this stage), I cleaned up and headed back to our table, excused ourselves and headed straight home.

A twenty minute drive felt like an eternity and once home (after having bled through my clothes and onto the car seat) I headed straight for the toilet again.

This time after only maybe five minutes I went pale, I couldn’t see straight, felt all tingly and was being held up by my husband while he was quickly trying to dial ‘000’ to call for an ambulance. I was trying to fight to keep my eyes open but my body felt like it had given up. I will never forget feeling like my life was at that point going to end.

The ambulance arrived within a matter of minutes and took me to the hospital where I was hooked up to machines and injected with two lots of blood transfusions having lost so much blood over the course of a few hours. The hospital’s gynecologist attempted a D&C (Dilatation and Curettage) which was excruciating but advised she would be sending me up to theatre to perform a Suction Curettage to make sure they had removed everything. Following the Suction Curettage I remained in hospital a further day and have since recovered and feel as good as gold.

Looking back on this now I so wish I had decided on a D&C. Although, and I understand that, my situation is very extreme and does not happen often (apparently anyway) I would without doubt suggest to anyone they should opt for a D&C (purely based on my experience). If I am unfortunate enough to have any subsequent miscarriages (touch wood) this will be my decision. I feel that it would have saved me, even a little, heartache and pain. However, of course, everyone is at liberty to make their own choices. I just hope that I have managed to paint someone out there a different side to the picture.

May God bless and I hope that this never falls upon anyone.

Thank you for listening.

I wish you all the best Ange! xx

[Lucy]

Ange,

First of all, hugs to you and your friend. I am glad she has you as a prop. It really helps.

Her loss sounds similar to mine.

To be honest, that period is all a bit of blur for me, but I had a D&C @ 13 weeks.

For me personally I was horrifed at the idea of "carrying a dead baby" inside me. (Sorry, that is awful, but I was so devestated at my loss, that I literally couldn;t handle the thought.)

So a D&C was good emotionally for me.

I held a certain balme on my body too, and in some mixed up way I felt that a D&C would somehow cleanse that?

On a practical/physical level, the procedure was quick easy and painless. I had minimal pain and bleeding.

I did rest up for a week, but physcially I was fine. Emotionally broken, but phyically fine.

As far as I am aware there are minimal risks.

It would probably really really vary as to how long the body would take to mc naturally. I wouldn;t have wanted to wait. And at that late stage, I woudl imagine a lot more painful than recovery from a D&C?

Not sure if that helps any, but hugs to you both.

[Tobily]

I'm really sorry to hear what your friend is going through Ange.

I've had two missed miscarriages - one was an early one, a blighted ovum like Sousie had. The other was at 10 weeks.

I opted for a D&C for both. Lucy mentioned feeling like her body had let her down, and I think for me that was the underlying factor in my decision as well. I felt like if my body hadn't recognised that the baby was gone by now, I certainly wasn't going to sit around waiting for it to click and for something to happen. I just wanted it over with - particularly with the blighted ovum as I had already been spotting for a week and was a stressed out mess because I knew from the start that pregnancy wasn't right.

From the research I did at the time my understanding was that the further along the pregnancy is (and this is generally speaking) the longer it can take for the miscarriage to start, and it also becomes more likely that it will involve some pretty severe bleeding.

The other issue with a more advanced pregnancy is the possibility of infection but I'm sure her carer is on top of that.

I recovered very quickly after both of my D&C's - I only bled for a few days and my cycle returned to normal the following month after each. Both were done under a general anaesthetic in day surgery and while they certainly weren't experiences i would like to repeat, for me I felt it was far less traumatic than miscarrying naturally at work (or god forbid out to dinner like poor sousie endured...hugs to you hun).

This was purely my experience, but there are also women who feel that the process of physically miscarrying their baby helps them to accept the end of the pregnancy and I can totally understand this as well - I will never forget the strangely empty feeling of waking up after surgery knowing the baby was just "gone" yet never feeling or seeing anything actually happen to help me process that loss.

Just my thoughts.

[Junglemum]

Thank-you so much for sharing ladies, I'm sorry to hear your stories, but i thank-you for sharing because all three have you have helped.
Lucy- your comment about carrying a dead baby is exactly what my gf said, don't feel bad for saying that. she doesn't want the surgery but emotionally feels it will be better.
I think knowing that it is a fairly straight forward procedure with minimal recovery will help her decision.
Thanks a million times over Lee, Sousie, Lucy and Flea. We appreciate your help. xxxxx

[chris]

Hi AngeA
I had a miscarriage last year and it was a bit like Sousie's.
I also could not stand the thought of a dead baby inside of me so I opted for a D&C to be done. My 12 week antinatal turned into a gyn appoitment we organised the D&C on the way home we got some groceries, we weren't home for 5 min and my waters broke in the kitchen, I went straight to the loo to find blood. I started heameraging in the bath room,my DH rang my mum to take me to the hospital. In the emergancy room is where I lost my angel. It was an incompleat miscarriage so I had to have a D&C anyway.

During the D&C the DR was too aggressive and damaged my uterus and gave me ashermans syndrome. Lucky for me it is only mild but I have talked (on the net)to women who have it worse than me. There is a specialist in Sydney who can treat you for it, he is in the top 5 in the world. (my gyn wanted to give me a hysterectomy)

So even though I have ashermans syndrome I would still recomend a D&C but I would let the Dr doing the D&C know that your uterus is very fragile to go easy. Do a google search on ashermans syndrome and evaluate the risks yourself. Only your friend can make the decision so it may as well be an educated one.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news someone had to let you know

Take care
Chris

[Loula]

Gosh - i have had 3 D&C to date i believe and that was because i had open sergery (ectopic&2 laps) - i dont think i really had any choice but it is a bit of a worry

GL with how it all goes hun