Hi
I have spent time reading stories on this site but have never posted anything until now. My DH and I started IVF and to our surprise became pregnant on the very first cycle.
We waited six weeks for our first scan and were delighted to see and hear our baby's heart beat. I then found a obstercian and had another scan at 10 weeks which was also fine.
We decided to have the scan for downs at 12 weeks which turned out to be low risk. However 2 hours after my scan I ended up in hosipital in excruiating pain on the left side of my abdomen. My ob said it was a cyst on my ovary which had burst. I was relieved to know that none of this pain was related to the baby.
However it was a huge scare and from this time on I was on edge as the pain took a week to subside and it was accompanied by a brownish discharge which was the first time I had experienced this since I became pregnant.
I made it to the 16 week mark and 2 days later I started have mild cramping and the light brown discharge had come back. I ended up at the hosipital that night to check on the baby and the mid wives found a good strong heartbeat.
I was sent home and told to take it easy. The pain continued the next day but it was more like period pain and the discharge continued.
When the pain increased I ended up at the hospital again that night as I was worried about my baby. My ob did not come in but passed a message to the mid wives for me to go home as it was nothing to worry about unless there was red blood.
The next morning I had a gush of red blood but the pain had gone. I was once again back at the hospital in which there was still a good heartbeat. My ob did not come in again but gave a message to the mid wives for me to go home and I would be contacted the next day by the clinic.
I went home trusting the advice but the pain started again and continued all day. It was midnight when I could not handle the pain anymore and believed I was having contractions even though I had never experienced them before. I went back to the hospital this time expecting my baby to have no heartbeat.
However to our relief he still had a heartbeat. By this time I was so confused and frightened as knowone could tell me what was going on and my ob had not come in to check on things.
The mid wives were fantastic but they could only be guided by my ob messages. And once again I was told to take panadeine forte and go home as my ob suspected it was related to an inflamed bowel. I refused to go home as I knew it was more than that and I could hardly walk from the pain which was coming and going every 1.5 minutes.
Then my water broke and it was then that I knew my little angel had no chance of survival. What came next was the most traumatic experience of my life. I gave birth to our little boy 1/2 an hour later. My DH and I were numb and in shock at how fast this had happened. I am now overwhelmed with sadness and really cannot believe I am actually having to write this story. I guess I just need to tell it in the hope that it will provide me with some closure.
I am disaapointed with my Ob's patient contact I really feel I would have felt more supported if she had taken the time to come in to do some more tests (as she was on call) instead of sending me misleading diagnosis that were made via chinese whispers between herself and the mid wives over the phone.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I would definitely being asking your OB some questions relating to her care. Please take care of yourself and grieve as much as you need to for your boy. RIP in little angel.
Last edited by Inanna; November 26th, 2009 at 10:14 AM.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I would definatly be questioning the care of your OB. Give yourself time to grieve hun and we are all here to support you. RIP little angel.
....... i'm so saddened to hear your story, so incredibly heartbreaking & painful for you & your DH ... and so brave of you to tell us all here your story of your little man's journey ... PLEASE take the time that you need to heal some and be gentle & kind to yourselves xoxox
Pisk, oh hunny I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story of your beautiful son's life. You have found such strength to come in here and post your story.
I would question your ob hun, My feelings are that her behaviour is inexcusable. I understand though that only you are in the position to having feelings on what has happened. You are asking all the right questions and your strength is incredible.
My thoughts are with you and I will light a candle beside my DD's for your DS. I hope she is there with him.
Love and thoughts
HM xox
So sorry to hear of your loss, i am sure you will find some great support from everyone in here and hope that sharing the story of your angel baby can help you in whatever way necessary.
I agree with the girls, i would definitely be speaking with your OB about your treatment, if she was on call i can't see how a quick trip to the hospital to check you out would hurt.
Even if it was just to put your mind at ease!
Thank-you so much to everyone who replied to my story. It made me cry to read your kind words.
I am taking one day at a time. I could not have gotten this far without my DH who has been by my side through all of this. I have never felt so close to him and feel for him as I hate to see him hurting.
I am waiting on test results to see if they can find a reason for this. However I am not getting my hopes up as sometimes there is no explanation.
I think some answers would help when we try again.
I really do feel for you sweetheart. I understand the devastation of having complications, seeing pictures of your baby alive and well, and losing it so soon after you saw it was fine. I also understand how upsetting it is to have medical staff who wont give you the support you need. Having lost my first baby so early, I was relying on my new GP whom I didn't like (I had just recently moved house, and the old GP I had been seeing - I decided it was worth the travel - was on holidays) and the various ER doctors and ultrasound techs I saw in my numerous visits. None of them gave me any real reassurance, evaded the questions I had. For weeks after I felt, in part, that the lack of "CARE" I received was partly responsible for my loss.
Fortunately I made it to my first OB appt this time - and he has been absolutely fantastic - it's just some of the other medical personnel I've had to deal with that were a let down. Find a new OB, you deserve better. Certainly complain - but dwelling on her uselessness isn't going to be conducive to your emotional recovery.
In the meantime, I, with everyone else here, send you thoughts of love and strength
I am definately planning on expressing my disappointment with my OB when my test results come back. I will definately be getting a new Ob though, trying to find one with a good rep who will be a little understanding and who will not have a problem checking out any of my concerns however trivial they may seem.
Problem is trying to find such an ob. Anyway I have plenty of time as I will not try for another again until the results are in (jan10) just in case they find a reason.
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Heartbroken
my thoughts are with you xox
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