Yesterday was indeed a very difficult day. It was honestly just what I needed though.
There was a nice intimate sized gathering, and some people who I never expected to come did and others I thought would be there weren't. Its a true testiment to who really holds you dear (exceptions made to those who couldn't come for various reasons).
Nikitas service flew by, and yet seemed to drag on. I absolutely "lost it" when Chris and I walked into the Church (side door entrance before the service because I would never have handled all those people without a good cry) I sobbed the whole way through the service. Chris delivered the Eulogy really well and only came close to tears right at the end where we had written a special note to Niki.
I don't know much about churches, I only go to them for Funerals or Marriages (I hate them for this very reason) but where Nikita's ashes were put, through the entire service the sun shone through a lead light window and beautiful colours where on the little wooden box. It was so beautiful. I wonder if they are built with this type of thing in mind.
We scattered her ashes here at home between two very old blue gums that were planted in memory of first generation and we will plant another blue gum in memory of 6th generation in between. We'll also be building a small memorial garden here at home in our back yard abd a little plaque will be popped next to @nd Generations head stone in an old cemetry close by.
Melham Thank you so so much for that beautiful poem. Not being a religious person I was having great difficulties with the suggestions of versus from the bible to be used for the service, there were none that seemed to be for babies or children. I burst into tears when I read that (literally right at the last minute before finalising details for yesterday) and insisted that it be read. I hope you don't mind me using it. It was the one time through the whole service that I heard other people crying.
After yesterday, I feel surprisingly calm. Still sad but my little girl is home now and the farm feels different. The old house was full of people yesterday and when they left it was like th eold house and all the ancestors were here and hiving us a hug.
I will post Nikita's Eulogy for others to read, hopefully it will offer some comfort to those who have also lost their children or help others write their own.
Nae - I am so very very sorry for your loss. It is never easy. I too cried when I read Metham's poem. It is very beautiful. I am sorry you have had to go thru such a heartbreaking time. Give yourself time to grieve, and it is so very normal feeling the way you do. Time is what is needed to help mend your broken heart.
So sorry I havent come on earlier..... Lots of
Thank you ladies,
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