laurie--I'm so, so sorry for your losses! I had my first son at the age of 19 with no complications. When we decided to ttc baby #2, I went in for my routine appt. when I was almost 3 mo's. They didn't hear the heartbeat, so they did an ultrasound. I had what was called a blighted ovum, where the sac developed, but the baby didn't. I had to have a D&C. We tried again a few mo's later. I took a hpt as soon as I was late, got a bfp. I m/c the next week. We tried again a few mo's after that, and the same thing happened again! After that, nothing. Fast forward 5 years, meet someone, fall in love, decide to ttc. It takes 3 mo's after stopping birth control, but pregnancy goes great--no problems whatsoever. Now fast forward 7 years (age 33). 6 mo's after stopping birth control, I get pg. (Jan. 08) Two days before my 13 wk. appt. (Mar.) I start spotting. Not too bad at first, but it didn't stop. I end up m/c on the 5th,the day before my b-day. It's been 1 mo. today. I just wanted to let you know my story since I had a healthy pregnancy, then 3 m/c, then another healthy pg., then another m/c. Although, mine weren't as far along as yours--that must have been terrible! Again, I'm so sorry for your losses! I would definitely have your thyroid checked. My dr. took 7 tubes of blood after my last m/c so that they could make sure there wasn't something genetically wrong with me that would make me have so many m/c, but all those tests came back normal. If you feel like your dr. isn't being as attentive to your needs and the needs of your future child, you should definitely try to find a new one! I think I may end up being in the same boat as you. My dr. told us at our last appt. (when he told us we were m/c) that before we decide to ttc again to let him know because he wanted to put me on progesterone and a baby aspirin a day. He specifically said before we start again. I called him the other day to get the prescription, and he tells me that after I get pg. again he'll start me on the progesterone! He' s trippin'! He can't seem to make up his mind! He also wouldn't give me an u/s when I went in for my 8 wk. appt., and when I had my u/s at what was supposed to be 13 wks., they said the baby stopped growing at 8 wks.!!! I think I should definitely be looking for a new dr. too! I really hope time helps to heal your heart--I'll be thinking of you and praying for you! Good luck with whatever you decide!
Jen,
Thank you so much for your post. I have been climbing the walls and googling until basic exhaustion! I am so sorry for all of your losses. It is so shocking to realize how many people lose babies, yet after dealing with 2 different OB practices, things haven't really changed with the handling of them in the 13 or so years between mine! I have already made an appt with a new dr. for a week after my follow-up from the D&E. I also have started taking 1600 mg of folic acid. I am going to purchase a book today called Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. Although I don't seem to have trouble getting pregnant(although it took several months this last time), time is not on my side and a few years ago I took some Chinese herbs and felt extremely well while on them. I am trying to eat better and do some gentle exercise, really just to elevate my mood. When I stress I love junk food, so I have tried not to go that direction! Reading about meditation sounds so good for you, yet my mind doesn't go quiet. I will keep trying! I feel stress had a part in both this and the other loss, yet from day 1 I felt so sick. I wish you an easy, happy pregnancy this time and like you, I want my suppositories BEFORE I get pregnant!
Good Luck,
Lauri
lauri--I know exactly what you mean about your mind not going quiet. It's like a slideshow that just continues to play in your mind! I'm so glad to hear that you've already made an appt. with a new dr. I've also heard that folic acid helps. I started taking 1 baby aspirin a day, though I'm not really sure how it helps! It still seems surreal to me that I actually had the m/c, b'cuz everything seemed to be fine--even up to a week after the m/c, my body still felt pg. (symptom-wise)! That, I think, was the toughest part for me--the fact that even though I knew the baby was gone, it was like my body didn't know, and still responded as though everything was going fine.
I know how hard this can be, so please keep in touch--it truly helps talking to others who know exactly what you're going through! Good luck with your new dr., and I hope all your dreams come true!
Jen,
I still wake up in the morning and think I am pregnant, then it hits me. I had just told everyone and purchased nursing bras(which came in the mail a few days after the D&E)and a beautiful Laura Ashley quilt because I was positive it was a girl. I read your original post and went through most of the same emotions. I have a daughter and then 2 sons. I love my sons but now that my daughter is starting her own life(18 yrs old, college etc.) I really wanted to experience a girl with my 2nd husband. I am conflicted with having 3 healthy kids and some women can't have any. Am I asking for too much? Is my body too old or too unhealthy to put these little fetuses through this? It is so hard to see little babies on TV or anywhere right now. I am sure everyone on this site has experienced this. I still have fullness in my stomach and it is still tender and swollen. I just want it to get back to "normal"(did I ever have normal?) and try again. Have you experienced any bruising with taking the 1 baby aspirin a day? I tried this for health reasons(just read it in a magazine) a year or two ago and found I was bruising for no reason in places I didn't remember bumping. I have 2 pages of questions for these drs. I hope they can answer most of them with more than an I don't know. Thanks so much for posting. I will keep in touch.
Lauri
Lauri--IKWYM about feeling like you're asking too much, and feeling almost guilty b'cuz there are people out there that don't even have 1 child! Part of me feels like I should be happy and satisfied with the children that I do have--but I've always wanted a girl of my own. When I met my step daughters they were 3 & 6, so I've never been able to experience having my own newborn girl! Now, all I want is a healthy baby--boy or girl!
I personally haven't experienced any bruising with the baby aspirin, but I've only been taking it for about 4 days, so I'm not really sure what to expect. Have you had any blood tests done to make sure everything's getting back to "normal"? I was supposed to go in on Thurs. to make sure my hcg levels have dropped, but forgot all about it. Guess I'll go in on Mon. for that. Monday begins my fertile days, and Wed. supposed to be O--started ttc last night. Because female sperm live longer than males, (I think I read that females can live 3-5 days) I'm hoping that last night was the night for my girl! DF will be very happy for the next week or so, b'cuz I'm going to try my hardest to make this my month! DF feels we should try everyday except for the days AF's in town--lol what a typical male, huh? Good luck with your appt! Thanks again just for listening!
Jen,
I feel exactly that way too! Just a healthy child, no matter the sex.(although I completely understand anyone wanting to have whatever sex child they don't have!!)(plus the adorable girl clothes and toys. Sorry, after Tonka trucks and jeans and little work boots, I dream in pink!) I have not had any bloodwork yet. I go back on April 15th(same day as my amnio had been scheduled) and want to be swabbed for everything I didn't have checked because I was sure I didn't have anything wrong. My amniotic sac broke before any bleeding, which makes me think infection.? I don't know, but I will be pushing for clotting panels, thyroid screening, antiphospholipid screening and whether my RH shot worked from the last pregnancy(according to the regular pregnancy bloodwork, everything was fine, but for all the blood taken(4 or 5 tubes) no hormones were checked and everything that was checked was such basic stuff.)I will try the aspirin and the suppositories because from all the books I have read this week(6 or 7 on miscarriage), it can't hurt. I am still bleeding although it has been a week. It browns then turns red with activity. I wanted ttc last night just because I was crawling out of my skin with thinking about all this but worried my cervix was still open slightly and the bleeding would worsen. I have read all different timing for trying again. The Dr. said wait until I get my period. Online and some books say 3 months, and I also read that women get pregnant immediately. Who knows? I just hope I have a few fertile cycles left!!
Anyway, thanks for all your info and thoughts. My friends and family haven't been through this and basically can't understand. Have a great day and I will write you soon.
Lauri
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