I concieved after 5 yrs of fertility treatment. At 23 weeks i went into pre-mature labour and was trnsferred to a hospital with a speciaist neonatal unit. the consulatant advised me that i had one of two options. Either i would no doubt have my baby within 24 hrs and the chancesfor my baby would only be 20% with a 50/50 chance of disabilty or with a risk of having my baby immediately have a cervical cerclage, stitches to closethe cervix delaying labour. my husband and i chose the later to try and give us more time. i was in constant pain for 12 days and was at risk of getting septacemia at 25 wks 2 days. the doctors took me to theatre to remove the stitches butfound my memebranes were bulging from the back of my cervix which was in effect tearing my cervix. the doctors decided whilst in theatre that a cross section cesarean would need to be done to deliver my baby. my son was born with a good heart beat and good colour whilst i was still being closed up in theatre my son passed away. i had lost my baby having waited for him for 5 years. i came out of theatre with a c-section, messed up cervix and worst of all my lifeless baby........as strange as it sounds i feel quiet lucky at least a got to carry my baby for 6 months feel him kick and move and hold him in my arms. a feeling i never thought i would have a chance to feel.
my husband and i have decided our beautiful memory of our son is enough to keep us going rather than having further fertility treatment.
my son is forever in our thoughts and always in our heart. a painful yet beutiful memeory taht will never die or fade......
You poor thing my thoughts and love are with you.
You sound very strong about it all.
Tresure your memories they will be forever in your heart and memory.
Life can be so cruel and noone should have to bury their child, believe me I know how heartbreaking it is. I have found so much support here on BB and dont know how I would have gotten through without these girls. I hope you can find as much support as I have.
Look after yourself, allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to and remember that your baby boy will be with your forever watching over from up above where he plays with all of our angels.
Sofy-- I am so sorry for the loss of your little man. I hope that telling your story here goes some way toward the healing process for you. His memory will always be with you and I am sure he will be watching over you as you continue on your journey to parenthood. I truly hope he becomes a big brother in the not too distant future. My thoughts are with you and your DH.
Hope xo
Sofy- i am so sorry about your sweet baby boy. this grief is so overpowering at times. you are insightful to be able to draw some comfort from the fact that you carried him for six months. hang on to that feeling with all of your strength. if you don't mind me asking, what is your son's name? you will forever be his mom and hold him in your love.
the last few months would have been much harder on me had i not found the support of folks here who can (unfortunately) understand exactly what a roller-coaster grief is and assure me in ways no one else can. please join a conversation if it feels right for you. hugs and tears for you and your ds. m
Sofy, I am so sorry for your loss. Life is just so cruel and unfair sometimes, and it hurts like hell. Reading your story it is very similar to mine. We struggled for 2 years to conceive Cooper and eventually did with assisted conception, only to have him cruelly taken from us at 37 weeks by the cord. Any baby is precious but to wait for so long to finally be carrying your miracle to then lose it, is just heartbreaking. Five years is a long time and I am so sorry that you lost your little boy. My heart aches for you right now. I too take comfort in being grateful for having Cooper for 37 weeks, for getting to know him, his kicks, his movements and being able to hold him, see him and kiss him.
Your son will always be in your heart and soul and his memory will never fade. May our angels play peacefully amongst the stars until one day we meet them again.
Sofy - So sorry for your loss, and what you have been thru. I am thinking of you and your DH. I just feel so terrible for you that this has happened. Hugss
Sofy - my heart is aching for you and your DH. I can only pray that you both eventually find some way to continue life knowing that your baby boy is watching over you.
I am so incredibly sad to read your story... I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy...
Be gentle with yourself and hold the memory of your son close...
Sofy - I am so sorry that you lost your little baby boy - there are no words to express the sorrow i feel for you and your DH right now. Be kind to yourself - you will always be his mummy no matter what and your strength is inspiring. Life is so cruel sometimes - having gone 5yrs to get him and then loose him is just tragic. My thoughts and prayer are with you both at this sad time. &
i found this site by accident, but so glat i did....at home even when my husband and i talked about our beautiful baby, every one tried to avoid the conversation and change the topic. i cant thank u all enough for ur support it may have taken only a few minutes for you but it has been so much consolation. i miss my baby so much if i was told to go through it all again, just to hold him for a few minutes ot just to look at him from a distance i would say 'yes' without a second thought.....
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I lost my baby after 5 yrs fertility treatment
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