Aww sweetheart Thank you so much for sharing your story

Losing one baby is horrendous enough, but to lose two in such a short time is indescribable, i'm so sorry. You said you blamed yourself for Emily's death, and felt that losing Halle was punishment for driving the car. You also said you realise what happened, happened - but I wonder if your heart realises this? You say you 'ruined the night, and that portion of your fiancee's life' - I would say it was whoever hit you! We can be the best driver in the world, but it only takes one idiot to bring it all down

Having lost your babies so close, I'm not surprised you're having a harder time with Halle, because you're probably still grieving for Emily as well, KWIM? If you need to take time off, you should absolutely do it. Take a couple of weeks, and cry, scream, hit something, whatever helps you release this pressure. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have dealt with something, when we've actually just managed to cover it over. But the problem is, when you cover over something, it'll always come back later, and it'll be worse.

Nobody else would blame you for either tragedy - you need to look inside yourself and make sure you're not still blaming yourself either!

PM me if you want to talk