I also loss my son at 22wks due to IC in 03/08.....This was the worst experience in my whole life and it was sooooo hard for me( well it still is)... to grieve...Its about to be a year in a couple days and I am feeling destroyd....My doctor told Me next preg..I am going to be taking progestrone and will have the cerclage put in at 12 weeks and take them off at 36 weeks and I will be having weekly visits to the doctor hopefully my pg#3 will be a success one HOPEFULLY!!!! keep me in prayers!!!! I loss my pg#2 on 12/17/08 when I went for my 12weeks u/s they discover my lil gurl had anacephally so I had NO CHOICE BUT terminate pg...my doctor induceed my labor .....she stated she didn't want to do a d&c because she don't want to mess with my cervic......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh I am devestated I am so hurt but I still have faith and I hope one day I will have my lil bundle of joy....thanks for listening...best wishes!! I am soo scared to try again what should I do????
Last edited by Mimi24; February 27th, 2009 at 10:36 AM.
Hi mimi.. Welcome to Belly Belly, i am very sorry for your losses
Did you pick out names for your little Angels? Anniversaries can be very hard for us mummies of angels- often we are the only ones who remember- and the lead up to them can be very, very hard emotionally. I light candles for my babies on their Angelversaries (and any other time i feel the need to- i light candles alot!!) and DH will usually make an effort to do something special for lunch or something just the two of us to signify the day.
I am sure that now especially after loosing your daughter, that you are feeling the pain of your sons loss and his approaching anniversary all the more. My advice is to let loose, and FEEL the pain, cry, scream and dont try to bottle it all up or feel the need to put on a brave face.
It is great that you are looking tot he future and are welcoming the thoughts of trying again, it is extreamly hard to do (i had two late losses and two early m/c before falling pregnant with my now 7 month old son) and you will probably be scared and unsure for alot of your pregnancy- that is normal!! But you have come to the right place! I found soooooooo much love and support on the Beautiful Belly Belly site, and having the support of other women who had suffered losses and who were going through the same things was a great help to me.
There are a few terrific threads here like the TTC (trying to concieve) after mis/c or loss, and then when you do get your BFP you then move to Pregnancy after Loss, and you will sadly find that there are alot of women who have suffered the same pain.
I wish you all the best and hope you get your BFP soon and go on to have a gorgeous precious little bundle of joy.
Hi Mimi,
I'm so sorry for your losses hun, it's so unfair and utterly devastating. I've only had one late loss, so I can imagine it would be so much harder to suffer two. I've lost my little boy at 20 weeks 6 days so I can imagine where you're coming from. I just went into shock when it all happened as I still couldn't comprehend I was losing my baby that day. I kept begging him to stay in my belly a little bit longer. It was truly the most painful and scary experience of my life.
I had my EDD on 12 February this year and I had a lovely day with my family and close friends, releasing blue and white balloons for my little boy and everyone wrote messages for him on their balloon. It was really nice. I felt so sad and down leading up to his due date but on the actual day it was OK. Joshua's birthday is on 1st October, so I will try and have a nice day for him.
In terms of being scared to try again, I hear you!!!!! I don't have any earth children yet and can't wait to have them!!!! I've been waiting a long time, as I didn't meet my soulmate until almost 4 years ago. I will be very scared to try again, I know, but I plan to look my fear in the face and say 'I can do this!!!!'. Please don't let fear keep you from trying to achieve your dream, as if it does, you wan't get your chance of having a beautiful earth baby.
Lots of luck Mimi, I hope you will achieve your dream, and DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!
B xxxx
Thanks ladies............just by reading both of you guys comment ya made me cry..I always say if you never had a loss you don;t really know how painful it is. I am trying to be as strong as I can be I try to think positive but I always ask my self why me....but I guess as time go by I get better............yes I did name my son after his dad, it was our first baby so we decided to call him a jr I go to the cementary all the time I try to go ounce a month and take him toys and flowers..I just be praying and asking god to help me go through this long road....Its hard when I have to take my son toys to the cementary...even going to the store to buy them...........I have FAITH.....THANKS AGAIN....I wont give up!!!! it will be worth it!!!
Last edited by Mimi24; February 27th, 2009 at 10:39 AM.
Mimi,
You really sound like a strong lady. And believe me, the question of 'WHY ME?????' was asked a million times. I know I didn't deserve to lose my baby. I'm not a bad person, and neither are you. We didn't do anything wrong either.
I've come to accept that I am not the only woman that this happened to. There are thousands and thousands of women who have suffered such a terrible loss. I also think that maybe I was learning from my loss, and I have learned a lot of things. I don't think I truly appreciated my pregancy, as I was constantly thinking something was going to go wrong. Next time, I will embrace it with all my heart, and even though it's always in the hands of God, I will enjoy and appreciate every second of it.
I also think that I had a lot of pressure from my mum to have a baby as she doesn't have any grandkids yet. This time, I will have a baby for myself and not for anyone else. So there are a lot of lessons I have learned through my loss.
I also believe we are very special women, as like you've said, once we've had a loss, we appreciate life so much more and our bubs.
So I love your attitude, as I have no doubt you will achieve your dream one day. You will always have your first born son in your heart, he is always with you wherever you go. He just has beautiful angel wings.
Yesssss, I agree I also appreciate my pregnancy too and my baby of course now that I have been through this terrible thing I think It made be reliaze alot of things in life and also made me strong in alot of ways. Thanks so much you made me feel much better!!!
IC
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