Hi Mimi,
I'm so sorry for your losses hun, it's so unfair and utterly devastating. I've only had one late loss, so I can imagine it would be so much harder to suffer two. I've lost my little boy at 20 weeks 6 days so I can imagine where you're coming from. I just went into shock when it all happened as I still couldn't comprehend I was losing my baby that day. I kept begging him to stay in my belly a little bit longer. It was truly the most painful and scary experience of my life.
I had my EDD on 12 February this year and I had a lovely day with my family and close friends, releasing blue and white balloons for my little boy and everyone wrote messages for him on their balloon. It was really nice. I felt so sad and down leading up to his due date but on the actual day it was OK. Joshua's birthday is on 1st October, so I will try and have a nice day for him.
In terms of being scared to try again, I hear you!!!!! I don't have any earth children yet and can't wait to have them!!!! I've been waiting a long time, as I didn't meet my soulmate until almost 4 years ago. I will be very scared to try again, I know, but I plan to look my fear in the face and say 'I can do this!!!!'. Please don't let fear keep you from trying to achieve your dream, as if it does, you wan't get your chance of having a beautiful earth baby.
Lots of luck Mimi, I hope you will achieve your dream, and DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!
B xxxx