My boyfriend and I were not trying, but after taking a test on Wednesday I found out we were having a baby. I didn't really know how much I wanted to be pregnant. I didn't realize how happy I would be. I called my boyfriend and told him (he works out of town in the oil industry and is due back next Wednesday) and he was as excited as I was which surprised me, but in an amazing, wonderful way. Everything felt so perfect and surreal until yesterday sometime in the afternoon. I was at work and started feeling crampy like I was getting my period sort of. I looked online and found posts on websites similar to this one that said that cramping was normal in early pregnancy and wasn't anything to be too concerned with. So I went about my day and went to the restroom at some point and when I wiped there was a little blood. It made my heart stop for a minute but I tried to tell myself that it was just normal spotting and it would get better. I called a health hotline that we have here though and the nurse I spoke to told me that it was probably normal but to make an appointment just in case. I made an appointment with my doctor for today (Friday). So I go home last night, talk to my boyfriend on the phone, actually felt ok. Still crampy and spotting but he made me feel like everything was gonna be ok and I just needed to relax. So I went to bed and woke up at about 11:30 with horrible pains in my abdomen. Like really awful period pains. I went to the bathroom and checked things out and noticed that I was bleeding a lot. Like a normal period. I thought that was way too much and there were some clots and it looked kinda funny. I can't say how really. So I went to the hospital and when I was checked the doctor told me that my cervix was open and I was having a miscarriage. I couldn't really say anything but "what do I do?" and the doctor told me that they couldn't really do anything because of it being so early. He told me I would probably not need a D & C because it seemed like everything was progressing naturally. I couldn't even talk. I just kept thinking "but I just found out yesterday".
I don't know what to do. I don't know why this happened and how I was so happy a day ago and now I am heartbroken. And I feel bad because I know that women have a lot more time to bond with their babies and then they have a miscarriage and that seems so much more awful. So I feel sort of guilty feeling so sad. And angry. I just don't know what to do. I want that baby back and I don't care that the baby was very early in development. He or She would have been my child and I feel so broken. Like someone has been taken from me that was so important and beautiful and I will never see them or hold them or show them how much I love them. My boyfriend can't come home and I feel so alone.