Hi Jo - I understand what you mean by finding it helpful to read how other people are going through the grief cycle. It gives me comfort to know that I can come here and see that other people understand. Though to be honest, we have received so much love from family and friends - flowers have been sent, cards etc. The only issue for me is that my work is still to get back to me - I am not sure if they are trying to give me space, but still an email or voicemail would have been appreciated.
I just wanted to ask you all if you can help me with a question. My mother was worried when I told her that I had not seen my Obs at all between my 12 week and 20 week appointment. She has asked the other women in the family and they are all sure that they had Obs appointments between the 12 and 20 week scans. Do you think this is normal to not have had an Obs appointments for 8 weeks? I know that there is nothing that could have been done to prevent the misscarriage - but it might have been picked up a little earlier if I had been to the Obs. Also - he never checked for a heartbeat at the 8 or 12 week appointment. I only heard the heartbeat at the 12 week scan (and the 14 week scan that I had insisted on due to a bleed - but i did not follow this up with an Obs visit and he never recommended one). I am certain he gave me good care - and he is very kind and compassionate - but do you think that next time i will need an Obs who will check my HCG levels (this was also never mentioned - I never knew what it was) and the babys' heartbeat (which was also not done and I was never informed of the BPM).
I realised these are all questions that won't make a difference - but it has got me thinking and I want an answer that I can give my mother! Thanks
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