KLH - my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Do not feel like you have to 'feel a certain way'. As I would say while I was (and still are) grieving, you feel what you feel. You can't and shouldn't have to justify or explain it. And do not listen to your friends, they just don't get it because they haven't been there. They probably think they are helping And no matter how sympathetic they could be, it's not the same if they haven't experienced what you have. And as for your bf, I agree with Dory, at least he trusts you enough to get the truth out there. My husband and I reacted very differently after we lost our baby. He didn't want to try for another baby because he was worried it would happen again. Sex changed for us. Keep your head up, you're in my thoughts x