Hi murraycod

Thanks for your welcome message and you are right I have come across some lovely supportive people here and it really helps so thanks!!!

You are right about smiling and I am hoping that I can soon.

I havent talked about my DH before (I am not up with the lingo but I am pretty sure that is Husband? or darling husband). I did exactly the same thing and it took me a while to realise that they did in fact suffer a loss too! It is so easy to forget about them and I wasnt being very nice to him after the first two but it is really hard on them too as they not only are upset for themselves but they also have to worry and take care of you!!!

Thanks again for your message and I hope we can talk soon xoxo