Our little one...lost in 6 weeks, but thought i was 9 weeks

[ourlittleone]

I've just come home after a d&c in hospital.
I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, but I thought I was 9 weeks. Our little one's heartbeat could not be found on the ultrasound, and according to measurements of the grow of the foetus, it was only 6weeks, but I had reached 9weeks.

I've asked my gynae dr if I can miscarriage naturally rather than have my body go through a traumatic procedure. He said that I could and had been spotting for 6 days with having no pain, no blood, no clotts. Just the spotting. Till Friday 2:30am came and was in severe pain. I always have period pains, but this pain was just unbearable and I kept praying that this is all I would feel and wouldn't go through a d&c. After 30mins, my pains worsened and when I was in position like giving bith, i pushed and something felt odd. It was a clott, and never stopped. After a change in pad, I had filled one pad in less than 5min.

I find myself asking my husband to bring me into hospital as this wasn't normal, and the bleeding was just nonstop. The clots kept coming when contractions came. I find myself in the emergency hospital in bed, being constantly changed as the bleeding became heavier and heavier. I clott so much that I thought I had passed the foetus.

It is now 530am, and the pains worsen and find myself feeling dizzy cuz of too much blood loss. My sweat is cold and lose my hearing for a short moment. Contractions come again. I get hooked onto a drip as I am dehydrating.

I have emergency doctors conducting a ductile. Which is not painful but very uncomfortable. They open my vaginal way to remove more clots. I'm crying of such discomfort. I have my husband who holds me and keeps me calm. It is then that i start to feel traumatized physicaly and emotionally.

I know I will get through this but Im so upset and feel lonelier than ever. My husband has been wonderful and I thank God that I have him. But I need to grieve, and I feel that I will not cope in time...I know I will overcome this, but I am so upset and traumatized.

This was our first pregnancy. We're just newlyweds who got married in June 2007. I miss our little one and this little one gave me no grief during that 6 weeks I had him/her in me. No morning sickness. I had felt the healthiest with him/her than I was before. And now, i only feel loneliness and heartache with my little one...

[visitor1]

Im so sorry to you and DH at the loss of your baby

*hugs*

[MrsFabuloso]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a similar experience with my first mc. It will be a difficult journey, but you will get through it. Take one day at a time, cry when you need to, talk to your friends and family and remember your little one. I know it doesnt seem like it now but the pain in your heart will change and you will cope with it better. Take it easy and look after yourself.

[justthinking]

You poor darling. You have had such a hard time and it is so much worse when it is a precious baby - it's the loss of a lifetime of hopes and dreams.Grieve but don't despair - try again when the time is right.

[Lynn]

I am so sorry for your loss. The heartache and loneliness is normal as you have lost apart of yourself. Take take to grieve.

Take care

[sjs]

Ourlittleone, I understand how traumatised you must feel after going through that, miscarriages can be very scary.
I also had a missed m/c at nine weeks (baby measured 6 weeks) and it was heartbreaking.
In time you will heal emotionally and physically

All the best...

[sconeonamission]

Oh how terrible. Sorry for your loss.

[feeb]

So sorry for your loss.

Take time to grieve cry when you need to and talk about it with friends and family, it is hard but it does get easier!!! I had a mc last yr at 8 weeks.

Huge hugs thinking of you, i am sure u will find bb a great support.

[ourlittleone]

Thank You to those who replied. It does help me by discussing how I feel with my husband, family and friends. And also to you all who have experienced this before.

I do believe that I will get through...it's just a matter of when and how long. But I hope it will be soon

I've cried abit as I got home from hospital, and cried again after. I just need to let this out as it helps me better.

I'm not so much in physical pain after the d&c, but again, emotionally its upsetting me.

Thank You again. and to those that have just experienced this, it is hard but be brave and focus that you will get through this. That's how I see it, and I know i will get through it....but it will take time for us all.

[STARRYSKY]

I am so sorry to read your post.
Nothing i can say will heal your pain but I am thinking of you and hoping you will get through, as I am sure you will.
sending you lots of understanding sympathy and big hugs.
xxx

[~*Niadalla*~]

AM so sorry to hear of your loss
Please take the time to greive. There are plenty of lovely girls on here for support whenever you need it

Nicky

[Leila]

I am so sorry for your loss, you have definitely come to the right place as so many of us know what you went through, it can be a very traumatic experience and i hope you give yourself time to heal - wishing you strength through this terrible time

[Rowie]

Ourlittleone
I am so sorry for you loss, there are so many here that have been through a similar situation to you so please know that you are not alone. We have all come out the other side, a little sadder but much stronger. Take time to grieve and look after yourself and DH.

[Auntie M]

i am so sorry for your loss. live through your grief, and you are right, time will help. hugs, m

[ourlittleone]

It's day 5 after my miscarriage. So far, I have coped well. My husband has been absolutely wonderful. He has now returned to work as I know the workload is difficult to catch up on myself. On the weekend my husband bought me a nintendo ds to cheer me up and to keep myself busy while I am resting/recovering in bed.

Honestly, it has kept me busy and has cheered me up A LOT. But I do speak about how I feel should I go back to the hours of miscarrying. It hurts, but I have learnt that as days go by, my tears no longer flow. It is not the accepting that I have miscarried that hurts, but the loss that ourlittleone is now a star up the heavens above.

I know ourlittleone will bring us happiness again. There are reasons why good and even bad things happen to us, but I do not question or punish God as to why it has happened to me? I do wonder, but I do not punish God why he had to let it happpen to me.

I tell my husband that I would like to wait 1 year till God brings us another littleone, just to give my body the time to recover from the experience of miscarrying. But should it happen, then let it be. But I can see that this experience has made it stronger for me. I have such a wonderful husband who has been a great support to me. Family who have helped me through with positive words. But deep inside I am hurt and upset, but I feel as each day goes by, I am getting there....Tomorrow, I will return to work. My body is ready for it. And I am ready to face the world again looking positive and to come away from the hurt and suffering that I have lost.

Thank You to everyone here in BB. We have gone through similar even more traumatic experiences, but if it wasn't for people who understood what we all went through, the days for me to get by would have not happened. Thank You. My thoughts and prayers are with every mother-to-be who has experienced an upsetting, traumatic painful ordeal. It is hard to face that it will get better. BUT it will get better in time..

[tryagain]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, ourlittleone. I've just gone through the same thing myself - newlywed 1 year ago this weekend, first conception in June 07 and d&c was last Friday and I'm still at home recovering emotionally. My body is getting there (there's some cramping still) but I don't know if I can face people at work just yet.

It's a horrible ordeal but with the support of our loved ones we'll get through it!

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It is such a difficult thing to go through. I felt utter hopelessness when i had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. We had been so excited and then we felt grief like I hadn't known before. Cry when you need to and lean on your husband for support. I had fallen pregnant soon after just being married too. It will get better, I know you can't imagine that now but it will. I now have a beautiful boy who I never dreamed I would have after that experience and it makes me appreciate him even more. Take care and best of luck.