Hi girls!
It is great to find other people in a similar situation you can share experiences with. My most recent mc was a partial molar before I had my son Jake. Similar to Lani I too was EXTREMELY ill and exhausted all the time and everyone kept telling me all was ok.
I was just on 8 weeks and had seen my GP to get a referral to an OBGYN - but unfortunately the one I wanted was unavailable, so I dilly dallied around until finally booked in but couldn't get in till about 12wks but being a first "normal" pg nobody was too concerned.
At about 11wks, nearly 12, I woke up one day feeling great for the first time in ages and thought maybe the dreaded first trimester was coming to an end... but about 10am I started spotting red blood and straight away I knew in my gut THAT was why I stopped feeling sick. Called my GP and went straight to see with with DH in tow. He called our first choice OB who we couldn't get into and he could see us straight away. He did a scan in his rooms and could find no heartbeat - we were devastated and he was wonderful. Sent us off to have a "proper" ultrasound who showed that our baby has stopped growing at around 10weeks, appeared to have a "strange" cell structure and had no heart beat. Straight back to OB who had booked me in for a D&C that afternoon - we had a partial molar pg.
We were devastated and had to have weekly blood tests until our HCG levels returned to 0 - about 3 months. It was then that I discovered BB and a great support network, and then googled my life away and freaked myself out lol. We then had to wait a further 3 months to ttc again. It didn't take us too long and we were pg with Jake - and the weekly blood tests and fortnightly scans (with your heart in your mouth waiting to see the heartbeat) started all over again until about 15 weeks when all appeared to be ok. After we had DS we knew we wanted another child but were really scared bcos that first few months of constant fear really took it out of me. I actually had lots of spotting in the first trimester and my dr just gave me bed rest until we were in the clear.
This pg took a lot longer to conceive than expected (over 12months) and once pg we had to do it all again. I am having my 20wk scan on Saturday and even now I hold my breath at every scan waiting to see that heartbeat.
Does it get easier? Sometime yes sometimes no. I lost my mum to cancer about a year before this all happened and knowing she is holding our angel Monty makes things easier to bear. We found giving the baby a name helped us acknowledge that there really was a baby and we did lose a child but it also meant we could say good bye.
Good luck girls - I know we were really lucky. My Ob is amazing, thorough compassionate and generally a great human being and he gave us great support throughout all of our pregnancies... I still remember DH telling me when I was moved to recovery and Paul came out to tell him I was ok he gave him a hug and told him it was ok to and to make sure we grieved. We only met him 12 hours before.
I count my blessings everyday to have Jake and this baby on the way knowing that things could have been so much worse.
Good luck and take care xxx