I can't believe I'm back in this dark place.
I got a positive HPT last Monday at 12DPO. My head kept telling me it's too early and not to get too excited. But my heart was just leaping for joy. I desperately wanted those early pregnancy signs to come, but they were so mild. Last month I had a HSG for my one remaining tube and was thrilled to find out it wasn't blocked. I knew I was high risk for another ectopic, but really didn't believe it would happen.
At 14 DPO my HCG was 89 and at 16DPO it was 256. I was really hoping this was going to be my time.
In the wee hours of Monday morning I started to bleed. It was dark red. I went back to bed hoping it was a bad dream. In the morning the reality started to sink in and all I could hope for was a natural miscarriage. However, the ultrasound I had showed this wasn't to be the case.
Luckily, my gyno/surgeon was doing surgery yesterday and agreed to see me. I made my way to the hospital and after a three hour wait, I saw my doc. He operated on me 20 min later.
Although I still feel like I'm reliving a terrible nightmare, the clear coloured photo of my tube with a little bubble inside is haunting me.

As for my emotions, I feel numb. If it's possible to run out of tears, I'm getting close.